[LYNX1]

Just got this in an e-mail from an American friend......think it sums UK up brilliantly...........


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
"Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since
the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last
time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during
the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from "****ed Off" to "Let's get
the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line in the British army for the
last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels
in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was thought
to be precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white
flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
However, it's not only the French who are on a heightened level of
alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides Now".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all terribly excited to see their new submarines
ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms
so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish
navy.nd in the southern hemisphere...
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain:
"Strewth!",
"I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and
"The barbie is cancelled".
So far no situation has ever warranted use of this ultimate
escalation level, which is fortunate since civil war would be the
inevitable result . . .