[Tealeaf]

HRH The Prince of Wales
Clarence House
The Mall
London SW1



Your Royal Highness

RE: A Monstrous Carbuncle in the Ancient Township of Church


We are writing to bring your attention to probably the most obscene architectural development in the annals of British Building History, which is now happening before our very eyes, here in your beloved mother’s Duchy of Lancaster. In fact, we are sure that once you’re read this you’ll be on the phone to her to ensure that this thing, stops, pronto, otherwise messrs T.Blair & J.Prescott get a kick up the a**e.



Years ago, we had this Old Lodge in Church (There was a rumour that either your Grandma or yourself had once done a bit of midnight coarse fishing in it, so you might let us know if that’s true or not). Anyway, about 10 years ago, some idiot pulled the plug out and it’s been dry ever since. Or at least it was, until about a year ago when a large hole appeared in the wall and convoys of construction vehicles started driving in and out.



Next thing we know this buildings sprouted up…an ugly thing, totally characterless..and then another one…and before you knew it they were spreading faster than the AIDS virus. Now we’ve got an entire estate, resembling that rip-off tourist attraction down from your mum’s place in Windsor…except this is worse…this is full scale.



Anyway, do you think you could possibly pop up to Church & make one of your famous speeches.? There’s not a moment to lose…so next Saturday would be nice. Bring the boys with you, to (They like footy, so they could get in the Stanley game in the afternoon and then meet up with some of our famous local totty in the evening)



You’ll get full Press coverage..the Telegraph, Observer…maybe even our famous local photographer, Mr Kipax.



We’ll see you there,



Yours in the Good Fight,



Accy Web (Church Contingent)


THERE WE GO EVERYBODY....LETS HAVE SOME IDEAS ON THIS...FEEL FREE TO CUT AND PASTE