[Sparkologist]

More Deep Dumb Thoughts.

• How is it possible to have a civil war? Surely war is uncivil ?
• If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
• If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
• Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
• If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
• When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
• Why is bra singular and panties plural?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
• Why do they report power outages on TV?
• Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
• One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
• The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body & your fat are really good friends.
• Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
• Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
• The saying "You can't have your cake and eat it", is dumb. I had my cake, and then ate it, so I have done both.