[Tealeaf]

It would seem to me that you have most of the basic materials there to construct a wattle and daub structure in your back garden; all that now appears lacking is mud (that should be easily available) and cow dung (somewhat more problamatic). However should you manage to lay your hands on the latter two items, it should not be to difficult to erect your little building out the back.

I would suggest you commence by constructing four interwoven latticeworks, approx. 6ft X 4ft using your old branches, twigs, etc, and then place them in a square shape in the garden. Then, having obtained the requisite mud and cow muck, you make a 60/40 mixture up, adding water as you go along - not too much, mind - and then plaster the said substance on to your latticework. Then construct a 4 x 4 piece of a similar nature. Erect the three large sides , stick the smaller piece on the top. and then lean the final larger piece against the open side.

Voila! You now have an organic, outside ****house which should add about twenty grand to the value of your house.

My fee for this advice is £600pds - I no longer take cheques and postal orders, so you can PM me your bank details.