[Less]

O.K. as you all know I'm not the sort of person that just complains for no reason, however the experience that I went through tonight St. Francis of Assisi would not have tolerated.
I went to my local pub (it’s in the list of locations above); I enjoy this particular establishment because in general they are pretty easy going. They allow children in and dogs as well, that I think is great because so long as we all behave where is there a problem?
However it being almost three & a half hours since I’d had my last pint therefore I was in the vulnerable position of paying attention only to the glass of beer that was being poured for me. It was at this point I was almost physically thrown over the bar by the nose of an Alsatian belonging to one of the other customers in the bar, it wasn’t just a curious sniff that the dog came over and gave me it was, well, it was like when you take your dog for a walk and it starts digging in some spare land as if it’s after a rat then it (your dog) pauses takes a deep breathe then lets it out with a satisfied vibration of it’s lips.

I turned round and said to the dog, “I don’t sniff yours please don’t sniff mine!”. The owner immediately turned round to me and said, “what’s your problem pal?”. I replied with a gentle smile on my face that, “if I’d known I was going to get so intimate on my first date with this animal surely I should have been introduced?”. He decided that I don’t like animals and in a loud voice called his dog over saying, that I should be more understanding. Perhaps it was my mistake after all if I’d kept my mouth shut then, that would have been the end of the conversation but, no, I had to say that it’s not that I dislike dogs it’s only that I expect them to behave if they are going to be allowed to roam freely round the pub. Oh, said the owner, “well if you want to take the dog’s mind off what it’s doing, why not buy it one of those Peperonis?”.

At 65p each I declined to do this, and took the nearest bar stool that was available (thus removing the vulnerable area from the dogs nose). The dogs owner went back to his pint and the dog decided that it was in love and settled at the base of my chair content in the knowledge that I was not able to move because either it, or it’s owner would start again.

I stayed on my stool, the dog, I could see was getting bored, when at last, to my relief somebody else walked into the pub, It was a man in his mid-twenties with his wife. The dog got up, I breathed a sigh of relief at the thought that it had somebody else to play with, and it went straight over to the guys wife and put it’s nose straight up the front of her skirt!!!! The noise it gave out was just the same as when it had sampled me!

She screamed, hit the dog and ran out of the pub, the dog was shocked and started running round the pub in hysterics, barking and snarling to itself. The husband turned round to me saying, “keep that f*****g thing under control or I’ll bury you”, I as surprised as they were and tried to explain that, “it’s not my dog it’s his”, I looked over my shoulder pointing in the general direction of where the dog’s owner had last been and he wasn’t there. Looking towards the bar for confirmation of what I’d just said I saw the back of the barmaid after she had dodged into the tap room in the pretence of gathering glasses, I knew I was on my own, so rather than taking a beating I apologised to the husband and told him that that if ever he came into this pub again the dog would most definitely be under control, fortunately for me he didn’t stay but followed his wife out of the pub and wasn’t seen again. Within minutes of them disappearing the owner came out of the toilets where he had hidden, called his dog and left, I stood up finished my pint put on my jacket and the barmaid asked with a friendly smile, “are you having another Les’?”, I considered the offer and refused after all, the evenings not going to get any better after this!

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