[Busman747]

OK Kipax and Steven,
You are both completely against chastising children whatever their age. Please tell us, what is this magic formula you have used on your own children? You both keep repeating that fact but have so far been unable to enlighten us "smackers" as to any effective alternatives!

I said early on that I have smacked my children but am quite sure that none were chastised after the age of seven or eight, there was no need!

One of my children stopped receiving smacks at the age of 4 when it became apparent that she did not feel the sting of a slap on the hand or lower leg.....and rather than hit harder, it was a joint decision between my wife and myself that other options were looked at. One of the problems is that if a parent makes a threat of any kind, it has to be carried out if the child ignores the adult, so one day it came to pass that an assortment of toys, dolls and other paraphinalia ended up littering the back garden after being ejected through the bedroom window! That was the first and last time I said in anger, "clean up your room or it all goes out the window!"

Another of my children was completely the opposite, the mere threat of a smack would reduce her to tears...not because she was afraid of being hurt but because if it reached that point, she knew that her Mum or Dad was really angry at her and she hated upsetting us. Thinking back, I don't think she was ever actually smacked at all!

Like most parents, we tried alternatives, go to bed early, no playing out with friends etc etc and I found that these caused a lot of resentment from my children which is far more damaging long-term than a smack (which is followed swiftly with a cuddle providing there is an apology or promise to do the task they originally failed to do)

My youngest is now 25 so this all happened a long time ago but after seeing the results, I do not consider myself a "wicked" Dad and am proud of all my girls and their attitudes to life.

So please Kipax and you also Steve, Give us your examples on how to correct misbehaving children!