We here in the studio have some good and some bad news to report to the population of the oppressed Hyndburn battlefront.
As you will have heard from our undercover reporter busman, a Cruise Missile fell to the south of the battle area very close to where the American troops are encamped.
Due to this our Reporter embedded with them has told us that she will have to go home due to the fact that when the missile fell she broke three of her nails as she scrabbled to get under the colonels bed, (reports have not yet made it clear as to what she was doing in his tent at the time but we are sure it must have been some form of in depth interview) and the bad news is:-
Jim Davidson is coming to entertain the troops!
