[claytonx]

A vicar called Mark was closing the Church doors after an evening service when he heard a strange voice call:'Mark! Mark!'
He looked outside the Church,but could no one calling his name.Then he looked inside the Church,but although the voice still called 'Mark! Mark!' the poor clergyman could not find where the sounds were coming from.
Finally,he rushed to the alter,thinking it must be God calling him.But when he got there all he found was a dog with a hare lip.

Lecturer to rowdy audience: 'I will not begin until this room settles down.'
Student: 'Go home and sleep it off!'

The Scotsman who broke in next door to gas himself.