First line of Behind the scenes at the Museum:
"I exist! I am conceived to the chimes of midnight on the clock on the mantelpiece in the room across the hall. The clock once belonged to my gt-grandmother (a woman called Alice) and its tired chime counts me into the world. I'm begun on the first stroke an finished on the last when my father rolls off my mother and is plunged into a dreamless sleep, thanks to the 5 pints of John Smith's Best Bitter he had drunk in the Punchbowl with his friends...."
(Ruby -the conceived one, tells the story of her family from when Alice abandons it for a french photographer through to her own growing up above a pet shop in York. Ruby is born, to mother Bunty, while her father is in the Hare and Hounds in Doncaster telling a woman in an emerald dress and a D-cup that he wasn't married!!)
For Mavis Cheek -just checked some of my titles and one is "Aunt Margaret's Lover" -could be a good one to try Mrs. P!

