[Guinness]

You will observe them drinking a blue sugary liquid from numerous bottles before slinging said bottles in various directions, some bouncing off car bonnets before landing in privet hedges.

The blue liquid has a strange affect on the species. Voices become positively stentorian as the males preen and pose in front of the female of the species, belching and burping constantly, before finally releasing the contents of their stomachs against nearby lamp-posts, walls or cars, using these to steady them from collapsing in a heap.

You may catch sight of one urinating against a car tyre, maintaining a circular movement around the tread of the tyre, or even attemping to aim over the car at another male who is still making a half hearted attempt at the mating ritual, or at another who is emptying their stomach on the other side.

The female is usually distinguished by the lack of clothing, even in the local sub zero temperatures, usually typified by a bare midriff and sporting a butterfly or dolphin tattoo, usually to the left of centre of the lower back. They appear more able to keep the blue liquid within their stomachs, however as the evening wears on, their language becomes far more colourful than the males. As evening turns to twilight, you may notice them stiffening their arms and shivering in a vain attempt to increase their body temperature. Finally mother nature emerges the victor and the females head home to their loving, caring matriarchs.

Without females to impress, the males shortly afterwards drift off in different directions, hurling abuse and gesturing wildly at each other, the sound of hysterical giggling fading gently into the distance....and peace finally returns to the serengeti of Accrington.

It is postulated by some observers, that the males believe that the more of the blue liquid they drink, the more chance they have of finding a mate. However others believe this unlikely, for despite an apparent increase in the bravado of the males after they have consumed a bottle or two, within a short while they lose the power of coherent speech, control of their motor function and as previously stated, the contents of their stomach, which somewhat reduces their appeal.