[claytonx]

A middle-aged woman was on her way to the shops when she saw a small boy leaning against a wall smoking a cigar and swigging a bottle of whisky.The woman was appalled at this and rushed over to the boy and demanded:'Why aren't you at school at this time of day?'
'At school?' queried the boy,taking another swig at the bottle.'Hell,lady,I'm only four years old.

'What are you making.Tommy?'asked the woodwork teacher.
'A portable,'replied the small boy.
'A portable what?'
'I don't yet know,sir.I've only made the handle.'