[claytonx]

Policeman in witness box:'This woman came up to me when I was in plain clothes and tried to pass off this five pound note,m'lud.'
Judge 'Counterfeit?'
Policeman in witness box:Yes,m'lud,she had two.'

'Knock,knock.'
'Who's there?'
'You're a lady.'
'You're a lady who?'
'I didn't know you could yodel.'