What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

You will excuse me bringing yet another Times article to your attention. This is too funny not to share...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...662267,00.html

...or it would be if it were not true.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

the only thing i am pretty sure jesus wouldnt eat is malteesers because they would keep falling through his hands before he could get them to his mouth :)

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

think he'd give Mcdonalds a miss lol

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

I thought he didn't eat much meat? McDonalds wouldn't be problem then would it?


Let's face it folks, the fad diets have just about been done to death. Somebody had to come up with a new slant before long.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Of course he didn't eat meat every time he would have touched his roast pork it would have been healed and started running around the place! (most upsetting for his dinner guests).

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_5_7.gifhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_20_7.gif

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Good God is nothing sacred in the land of the free? I love the bit at the end where there’s an attempt to differentiate between a kosher Jewish diet and the Jesus diet. It appears also to be an attempt to reclaim Jesus as a Jew, which he obviously was of course….I understood the Bible to be a multi faith book reflecting a Capricornia of eastern religions which like our own pre Christian Pagan/Celtic religion was adopted and adapted by Roman. Oh dear, say no to the pork, but pass us a sheep’s eye ball and a few nuts please………..lol

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Sorry Willow, but pig is an unclean animal in the jews eyes so pork is deffo off the diet. It comes under animals with a cleft or split foot, which rendered it unclean under the Mosaic law.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

I can't believe that year after year so-called sensible people fall for faddy diet after faddy diet. The people who invent these diets, start clubs based on them and earn millions of quid publishing and selling their books really must see us coming.

Dieting is really very simple. There's no gimmick involved. All you need to do is eat a healthy balanced diet and expend more energy than you consume..

There you go.......I told you that for free...:D

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

whattttttttttt jesus never tried a bacon butt???:eek:

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

I had in mind the bit where Peter was hungry and fell into a trance and saw "heaven opened and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts, creeping things and fouls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise Peter, kill and eat. But Peter said Not so Lord for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean. And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common." Acts 10:11-15

So I reckon if the Lord was saying it was OK for Peter to eat anything whether or not the Jews called it clean or unclean because he had come to supercede the Mosaic law, then he probably wasn't averse to a bit of pork himself. I know it was meant to be symbolic.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

jesus saves,but so does brad freidal only better lol

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Ref to your Bi- Cetennial reminder.
There is a film tonight at 9-0 clock, presented by Michael Portello uncovering the beliefs and passions of Horatio Nelson's extraordinary life. I hope Bob that you will be reviewing this film, and give your opinions of Portillo's revellations about the truths and myths that have grown up around Nelson. Looking forward to reading you. T.C.http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/i...ons/icon14.gif

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

This means that, in order to lose weight as Jesus lost weight, I will have to actually eat more than I currently do

I fully agree with this comment. I dont eat breakfast or dinner. I only eat once a day, usually about 9pm :eek:

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

This means that, in order to lose weight as Jesus lost weight, I will have to actually eat more than I currently do.




i think he should sue the bloke who renewed the atkins diet.
Jesus wouldnt starve anyway look what he did to them fishes and bread,
hhhhuuummm just wondering if he did it with beer as well???

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Don't know about beer......but he turned water into wine.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Yes but everyone turned it back again after drinking it!!!!

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Willow: fact, this was a vision, not reality & was teaching Peter a lesson that when he was directed to preach to the non jews, in preference as he had to the jews only, not to call the non jews, or commoners, unclean as this was a new direction following the jews rejection of Jesus. Context says such a lot when read as a whole & not disected.

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

BRIAN: Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats.
SPECTATOR: What a load of rubbish.
BRIAN: Larks' tongues. Otters' noses. Ocelot spleens.
REG: Got any nuts?
BRIAN: I haven't got any nuts. Sorry. I've got wrens' livers, badgers' spleens-- REG: No, no, no.
BRIAN: Otters' noses?
REG: I don't want any of that Roman rubbish.
JUDITH: Why don't you sell proper food?
BRIAN: Proper food? REG:
Yeah, not those rich imperialist tit-bits.
BRIAN: Well, don't blame me. I didn't ask to sell this stuff.
REG: All right. Bag of otters' noses, then.
FRANCIS: Make it two.
BRIAN: Are you the Judean People's Front?
Now thats the real food they used to eat, good stuff, what did the Romans ever do for us?:)

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

I did say I know it was meant to be symbolic. :D

If you take a bigger whole though Jesus did "over-ride" the old Mosaic laws (I mean we don't have to sacrifice lambs any more do we?) so maybe that included the food laws?

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

It's the expending I find hard to do. ( I have a problem with the healthy bit as well :D )

Re: What would Jesus Eat? Ohh Puh-lease!
 

Know you did Willow, just expanding the meaning to avoid spurious comments. Don't forget the Mosaic law went beyond the ten commandments as many laws on sanitation & food etc were also given to Moses. Many are just applicable today as common sense. While the old laws were condensed by Jesus the main logic remains. As in don't eat pork when there isn't an R in the month, as it goes off quicker in warm weather. Thou shalt not murder being left behind again doesn't make it right to take someones life today, or tommorow!