Serious Issue
 

After the abdution of and murder of Rory in Livingston one of the truck drivers who deliver material to my place of work had to phone the police when he came across a nine year old boy wandering down a lonely road on his own. What are parents thinking this was after 9pm
and it but the willies up him as he has a young son himself. As a dad it puts the willies up me and makes me show what was described as a "protective panic" Is society getting that bad some no longer care or cannot be bothered? Or is it over reaction on my part because if it is I am proud of it !
:( :(

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you think thats bad only the other night i saw kids as young as 5 playing out near the big roundabout near aldi

kids these days are left to do as they please and when somthing goes wrong the parents appear on tv saying they just dont understand how somthing could have happened to their child

the annoying thing is that stopping to help a lost child can get you in trouble these days and you are more likely to get shouted at by the parents for approaching their child rather than thanked for been considerate enough to ask if it is ok or lost or somthing

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Agree whole heartedly with that assesment chav. To care is a crime now that is seriously screwed up.

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Maybe parents should go to parenting and resposibility classes. The younger ones have a kid and think its great as they are centre of attention then when a few years down the lines that kid becomes inconvenient it spends a lot of time out with others in the same situ. They say a pet is not just for christmas but life then itg should also apply to these socalled parents. I aint sorry if I upset some of them but I was brought up to look after my child and plan my life around her not just "dump" to one side when she does not fit in with my social life. She comes first and is not just an afterthoght.

Too many young mothers would rather have their social life than their child and as such are unfit to be a parent. I will not appologise for this view as it is how I was brought up and what I believe !!!!!!!!

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Don't think you should apologise. You're right to be protective about your children - I'd battle anyone if I thought either of mine were likely to come to harm.

I do worry though about how they might be missing out. Just up the road from me there are a few families and they have very young kids (younger than mine I think) and they let them play out on the pavement and around the area until quite late. It won't be long before my two start asking why they aren't allowed to play out like that but the simple fact is I'd rather have them where I can see them.

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i see very young kids 5-8 year olds many evenings playing in the long grass and bushes etc, at the top end of owd bobs,when i,m out with the dog, anyone who knows this area will know its isolated at night,also there was a flasher reported the other month in that vicinity, the parents (if they deserve that title) should be ashamed of themselves, when you see these terrible stories in the media i despair.

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and there was me having a panic attack the other night (those at the meet will know what I'm talking about) about my two and they are 12 and nearly 14!!! I'd rather be that way though than the other. Setting boundaries and the children understanding and respecting those boundaries thats what these kids need

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I remember that when I was five I had to be in bed by six o'clock. It was not until I was in my second year at Secondary School that I was allowed to stay up past 10:30, and then only at weekends.

It is sad, but true, that for some parents, children are seen as either a fashion accessory or an inevitable if inconvenient rite of passage into adulthood.

I have often thought that prospective parents should have to apply for a license to have kids.

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It's always the same in that area, loads of kids in the park at night cashman.

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yes i remember this the only time i was allowed to stay up was a monday night i would go to bed at the usuall time but when my mum got in from working at the hospital she would let me sneek down and watch APOINTMENT WITH FEAR but i had to be up the following day and that was if i had been very good the week before

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Its good to see that people care its a pity others do not have the same attitude.

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It's the same with the kids round here too. Allowed to play on the streets until all hours of the night and the parents couldn't care less what they're up to. A lot of people see having children as a career these days, not just young girls but lads too.

I love children but have never wanted them for myself. I love my life and have a good job which takes me out of the house at all hours of the day and night. I have a good social life and like to travel (a lot). I know that to some people it sounds selfish. By some people I mean my mother who used to berate me for not having kids until told that it was selfish of her to try and make me feel guilty for not providing grandchildren.

I don't want my lifestyle to change and I know that if I did have kids it would, because I would have to know where they were and would probably be pretty strict. So you see, there is a choice. My friends who have children envy my lifestyle but know that they can't have it both ways.

I think that some young people don't realise that the choice is there for them. Believe me I found nothing sadder in my job than the mother of a 14 year old girl as excited as you can get because she was going to be a grandma..... To whom I pointed out that she should be upset at the loss of her daughter's childhood...:D

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...not to mention the fact that her daughter had been indulging in criminal activity!

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Worst bit is the chances of the father of the unborn being prosecuted is slim, so lets prosecute her mother for being an unfit parent.

Lettie you have a first class point in your answer; in that it is social life or child you cannot have both.

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I agree with the pricipal of what your saying Spuggie, my daughter is only 3 and I dont let her out of my sight, I do however still have a social life, nothing like it used to be, but I do enjoy a good night out. I dont think its just the young parents though, I think there are parents of all ages who dont care properly for their children, late nights, lack of discipline etc. I know that when my daughter's older she still wont be allowed out of our sight, well maybe when she's 18! lol

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I have been informed that I am the cruelest mum going. WHY? because my 7year old has to be in at 8pm (in summer) This wasn't said by him but other kids & parents. Apparently there is nothing wrong with him coming in when he wants! I am not sorry that I am seen as cruel I'd rather be that than something happen to him because I'm watching T.V. instead of him.

My other half thinks I am too protective and I should learn to loosen the apron strings but I can't. I worry when I can't see him as it's not just adults you have to warn kids about.

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Debbie, I think your right to be protective, the kids where I live are often still playing out when I've gone to bed, in summer anyway.

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Grego were I stay it is not unknown for under tens to be out until 10 or 11pm because they are having a night out and the kids are suposed to be with the grand parents. These mothers/fathers are ussually under 20 and do not have the sence to check that their children are were they are supposed to be. Booze and fun first kids are at grans so lets party.

Unknown to some of the older parents (or maybe it is) their darling 12 and 13 year olds are having a fag and shring a bottle of Buckfast in the park with the drunken 15 and 16 year olds. Its that bad that I will not go near a shop because of children asking for drink to be bought its like a badge of honour with them to be paraletic. Yet as they are at grans mum and dad dont find out or wont do anything about it so the cycle continues until it all goes wrong then they the parents are not to blame but the ones their kids team with are.

Kids full of drink late at night are easy targets but as Chav says

" the annoying thing is that stopping to help a lost child can get you in trouble these days and you are more likely to get shouted at by the parents for approaching their child rather than thanked for been considerate enough to ask if it is ok or lost or somthing"

what chance have we?

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stand by your guns debbie you,ll do for me.

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Debbie, you are a responsible parent and I only wish there were more like you. Don't listen to others, you know what's best. There is little discipline around these days and when children get into trouble their parents lie for them and defend them. Your child has boundaries and that's good. He's 7 years old, not much more than a baby, so don't give in.

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I have to say that to make the choice not to have children is one of the most UNselfish things to do. Because you have made the decision not to have children because of the way you like your life. Those that have children and carry on regardless are the selfish ones!!!

Also Debbie I'm with you. So you are not in a minority, unless all us on here are just damn good parents :D

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It seems there are sensible parents out there dispite all the publicity about bad ones it could be a sign of the times out there today. It makes me feel better to know that some parents care about the welfare of their children and act accordingly even when they are slated for it. Those children will grow up better for it even if they don't like it .

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I read this thread when it was posted, and have just finished reading the replies when I've just got in at eleven o'clock tonight.

It's dark, and I've walked past children still out whose ages I presume range from seven to fifteen, all unsupervised by any adults, which is wrong.

I totally agree that parents should take responsibility for their children. On the otherhand, I remember in the school holidays being allowed to play out until it was going 'a bit dark', which happened tonight about 8.30pm.

It does seem a shame that the freedoms the previous generations enjoyed, to begin to explore the world, are being erroded. Are there really that many more dangers now than in years gone by, or are we just better informed of them because of an obsessive media?

This isn't a plea for parents to absolve themselves of responsibilities, just a comment on how children could grow up in fear of things happening to them which in all probobility will not, and missing out on the fun of building dens, damming streams or pretending discover new countries which are in fact a few scrubby bushes.

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Garinda I see your point. But until we know where dangerous people live it isn't safe to let kids out late. Not only for this reason but I for one would not be happy in a few years time, to find the police on my doorstep with my child either drunk or having caused damage somewhere due to peer pressure or boredom!

Up to the age of 12, when my Dad died, I was not allwed out even in the summer holidays after 6.30pm. If I did stay out (in the next street) I would have the embarassment and pain of Dad comming to find me! So to me I'm being quite lenient with my 7 year old

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I agree Debbie.

It's all very well for me to say children should have the same freedoms enjoyed by previous generations, but if anything did happen to a child you'd spend a lifetime regretting your actions, and wondering what if.

It's all very sad.

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It does seem a shame that the freedoms the previous generations enjoyed, to begin to explore the world, are being erroded. Are there really that many more dangers now than in years gone by, or are we just better informed of them because of an obsessive media? think there is obsessive media, but also think it IS more dangerous these days,in the worst case scenario in the old days a kid could maybe get a punch or a beating from a bully. there seeme to be far worse happening to children these days, yes theres always bin pervs,but these days it is far easier i think for them to contact kids,eg chatrooms,mobile texts ect,also these creeps havent as much to fear with a society full of doogooders, thats my twopennorth.