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garinda 07-03-2007 23:27

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SamF (Post 394420)
Contradicting yourself a little bit there.

Still a terrible problem, I can't imagine why anyone would do something like that, or how a couple can get so close they have children before something like this shows up. Still, I hope I never find out.

You being sixteen and male, you'll soon learn that life isn't only black and white, it's a whole dirty mess of grey too.

Tinkerbelle 07-03-2007 23:31

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Cheers Mel we've had the conversation before, you may not agree with my view point but you know were I'm coming from :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel (Post 394421)
to the increase of violent girls as awarness of boys not hitting girls is frowned upon more.


Exactly, we bring our lads up telling then "YOU DO NOT HIT GIRLS" so what do we tell them when the girls instigate the violence?

accymel 07-03-2007 23:32

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by SamF (Post 394420)
Contradicting yourself a little bit there.

Still a terrible problem, I can't imagine why anyone would do something like that, or how a couple can get so close they have children before something like this shows up. Still, I hope I never find out.

A little fact for ya ..... instances of violence does not always present itself at 1st hooneymoon period [be as nice as 9pence] but statistically & reality violence does tend to exibit itself after marriage & OR after kids or whilst is pregnant, reason ..marriage - well it becomes an ownership to the controlling person, victim is trapped more aka not as easy to walk out on a marriage with ties than single/couple. Pregnant/kids women in this case victims because at this time the woman is weaker more vunerable to abuse, also threats of SS taking kids away to make them submit/stay, dont want to split the family up, kids without dad etc is making of mental & emotional weakness easier & a weapon All are re-inforced with violence should those not work on its own - thats how it goes round & round.

cherokee 07-03-2007 23:32

Re: Am i jealous?
 
I know of someone over there who has recently seperated from her partner and this barsteward intimidates her every step of the way.... she used to be a very independantly(sp) minded lass but now cant even so much as think for herself , even though now he has left her for another lass he still seems to hold the reins on her and goes back regular for his cookies just to keep his foot in the door and stop her moving on, so many of us have suspected him inflicting violence on her but to presense nothing can be proven and more to the point she would at the moment still defend him to the hilt....
so all i can say misskitty is although they,re your mates and your close to them until they hit rock bottom they are unlikely to stay in the rut that these guys put them in..

cashman 07-03-2007 23:37

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle (Post 394424)
Cheers Mel we've had the conversation before, you may not agree with my view point but you know were I'm coming from :)




Exactly, we bring our lads up telling then "YOU DO NOT HIT GIRLS" so what do we tell them when the girls instigate the violence?

its a difficult one that tinks, all i can say is when i was young i have been attacked by a woman and also stabbed by another, neither did i hit, though i did tip a pint over the head of the one that attacked me.:D

accymel 07-03-2007 23:37

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle (Post 394424)
Cheers Mel we've had the conversation before, you may not agree with my view point but you know were I'm coming from :)




Exactly, we bring our lads up telling then "YOU DO NOT HIT GIRLS" so what do we tell them when the girls instigate the violence?

Hehehehehe yeh i understood & cropped up a few times during our coffee morning debates LOL:D

I tell mine its not acceptable for both girls & boys, violence breeds violence, there are better ways of handling it - by walking away & reporting it! Blumming hard work being permanent referee as they are 'that' age atm with sibling scrapping, but i do make my feelings very clear - i dont tollerate violence & they shouldnt either :(

Neil 08-03-2007 06:01

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle (Post 394399)
I don't know your mates or who your refering to kitty, but Jesus half the friggin women up here think their fellas in disguise with their need for a scrap. It's disgusting.

I thought half the women "up there" as you put it, were men ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle (Post 394414)
The attitude of some women disgust me these days. I've witnessed a women spark a guy out cold on my street, he didn't retaliate but should he have done?

I have no problem with him hitting her back in that situation. If she thinks it's ok to use violence against him then the man has a right to protect himself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel (Post 394429)
I tell mine its not acceptable for both girls & boys, violence breeds violence, there are better ways of handling it - by walking away & reporting it!

Not always. If we are talking about school kids that is. Sometimes kids need to stand up to the bullies and often smacking them in the gob shows them you will not be pushed around and often they will leave you alone.

Tinkerbelle 08-03-2007 08:12

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil (Post 394471)
I thought half the women "up there" as you put it, were men ;)

Shut it or your benna get a slap! :p :D

chav1 08-03-2007 08:20

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle (Post 394485)
Shut it or your benna get a slap! :p :D


aww come on we know your all woman..


well what there is of you anyway :D


BY THE WAY if you still feel you need to slap neil would you like to borrow these ?

http://www.sz-wholesale.com/uploadFi...ladder_428.jpg

panther 08-03-2007 08:57

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Men who hit women are one word COWARDS!!

BUT there are women out there too who do the same to men!!

chav1 08-03-2007 10:02

Re: Am i jealous?
 
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes ?

nothing you have already told her twice and it obvioulsy hasnt sank in ;)



and just to make it equal



what do you tell a man with 2 black eyes ?

nothing you have already told him twice and it obvioulsy hasnt sank in ;)

grannyclaret 08-03-2007 10:45

Re: Am i jealous?
 
i would wait until they were fast asleep ,then lamp them one with a pan.. then denigh all knowlege,,
seriously though ,,i think your friends should give these thugs/cowards a wide birth,,

Margaret Pilkington 08-03-2007 17:38

Re: Am i jealous?
 
I wouldn't hit them when they were asleep Granny....but I might just put a squeeze of Croton in their tea ( Croton is the Joseph's coat of many colour plant.......) it would give them violent diarrhoea and bad tummy ache....and I would deny all knowledge of it.....but would watch 'em suffer.

lettie 08-03-2007 18:02

Re: Am i jealous?
 
There are loads of different reasons why people don't leave violent relationships:- fear of being alone, fear of retribution, financial worries, how it will look to others and many more. The upshot is that all you can do is be supportive until they finally decide to leave. There are lots of agencies for victims of domestic abuse these days......Well, there should be, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men are abused within the home.

I am one of the lucky people who had a supportive family and friends. It was a darned good job really because the police didn't take domestics seriously back then. Fortunately, they do now, and so do social services if there are children in the household.

Be there for your friends Kitty but don't get involved in arguments with their other halves. Make sure that your friends have the information to help them get out, telephone numbers of Domestic Abuse agencies etc. They may not want to use this information just yet, but eventually, they will..... and they'll thank you for it.:)

accymel 08-03-2007 18:07

Re: Am i jealous?
 
Yeh well said Lettie [from one survivor to another - proves u can survive it:D] I gave Miss kitty local DV womeans aid services contact details plus put the website on here for the national domestic violence helpline & info, which gives help & advice for those that have friends & family going thro DV.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for one of my best mates whom i regard as family now, she saved our lives, put us up & supported us thro it all the while:D


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