Funerals
 

Well I have been to a funeral today - very sad as it was a young woman.

One thing that struck me was that no one knows when they're going to go and if you're a control freak like me, who's going to organise the event to my liking?

For instance - choosing three songs that mean something.

After the funeral I was talking to my dad and said about the songs and he immediately rattled off his three songs, so since then I've been thinking of mine and I came up with

I will always love you by Dolly Parton
Friends by The Rembrandts
My Way by Duran Duran

It might be an idea to think of yours now so that if the worst happens everyone knows how you want your last party organising.

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My hubby is a funeral director so funerals are often in our thoughts in our house.

We both know what we want when the time comes.....hopefully this will not be for many years yet but, like you say Gayle, you could go suddenly tomorrow.

Some folk just can't bear to think about it but personally I think it's best to be prepared. I don't fancy having a load of songs that someone else has picked at my funeral.....what if they were rubbish? :)

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Instruction for my funeral, with my choice of music, is in the envelope with my Will. The music will be pretty much what I had for my husband's funeral - Glenn Miller, Gershwin and Elvis - and everyone is to wear black, sob and cry and wail how much they'll miss me, otherwise I shall haunt them. :)

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I don't care what they play....I will be playing what I want, somewhere far far away.

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You`ld better tell your dad its My Own Way by Duran Duran. It`ll save him a lot of aimless searching!!:D

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Typo - was torn between My Way by Frank Sinatra and My Own Way by Duran Duran.

BTW - I'm hoping that it won't by my Dad sorting out the music for me.

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Up or Down Margaret? :hothothot

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It`s okay, I`ll do it......now wheres that Slik tape gone....

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Oh, now that's an idea I hadn't thought of Requiem!

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Celtic Dawn

State of Independence

I'll Find My Way Home

Maybe not in that order.

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I just want to point out that I didn't mean to cause offense to anyone with this thread. It was just my musings after attending a funeral myself today and realising how difficult a job it is to try to reflect someone's personality and life in just three songs.

Sorry if it's caused offense!

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I was going with Forever and Ever actually;)

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what a loveley way to think

x

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Heard a news report on CBC the other day about funerals in Australia; apart from the common songs people chose (Handel's Largo, Amazing Grace etc.) there were some interesting choices: eg., Another One Bites the Dust and, from the Wizard of Oz .... you can probably guess this one.

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what a lovely way to think

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My mates dad was a big Al Jolson fan. We left the church to "I`m Sitting On Top Of The World" which was uplifting and inspiring. Not a dry eye in the house.

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I think that's the joy of it, if it's the right music it can really make an impact.

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I know there is the PC brigade....surely not on Accyweb.
I can't see anything wrong with the thread at all. :)

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Haven't thought about mine but my Mum has sorted all her arrangements out. Will post again when I have given it some thought.

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Home Where I Belong - B.J. Thomas!:D

Brian

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Me neither ... death is inevitable, and I don't see anything wrong with discussing it ... it is not the sort of thing that will go away if we ignore it.

My choice for music: "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life.":D

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erm, not really sure...but then I am sure I will know folks in both places, so it won't matter.

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Nice one :D

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Well instructions for mine and hubbys time have been made and noted with all songs etc written down. Also what we want doing with our ashes . after which we want a damn good wake .lol..

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Why do they call it that? Wake....is the last thing you're going to do!

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ROFL!!!!
Quite right MP . suppose someone knows the answer.:D

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At a wake mourners used to stay up all night out of resepct for the recently deceased.

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I knew there had to be a sensible answer to it.

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Spike Milligan tells of a story where the diseased was nailed to the coffin and stood upright to watch the proceedings...Some wake that?

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Yes, I remember reading that book...it was hilarious......only Spike Milligan could make dying funny.

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You won't hear it anyway:p

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That's exactly why I don't care what they play....they can play merry hell with a big stick and a basket of eggs and i won't care.

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How do you know? :p

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About this time last year Mum called in for a brew and just happened to mention that she had sorted out and paid for her funeral. Must admit it was a bit of a shock but she is getting what she wants and I don't think that is a bad thing. It isn't something you want to think about but is inevitable. Think it takes a lot of pressure off the family when the inevitable happens.

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Well if you can you're in the wrong sound proof box:confused:

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Last two funerals I went to only had 2 songs I suppose it's your choice if you want three.

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Come on now, folks, what's a wake? It's what's left behind, isn't it, like the wake of a ship? So after you snuff it the party's all that's left.

Personally, I don't think that's fair and I want my wake before I go. Why should they all enjoy themselves, drinking my booze from my cupboard out of my glasses if I can't join in? I'll add that to my instructions - "Wake to be held before decease". That'll teach 'em. :)

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I was thinking about that too Westender. I'd love to know who was going to turn up and how sad they'd be.

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Does'nt ring true that.
Would you rather a party for "I'm going to snuff it next week" or
"She was a lovely lady".........let's all drink her health. :p:D

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They'd better be very, very sad when I go, Gayle, or else............wooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :ph34r8:

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You'd better pick some really sad music then. :eek:

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Who says they'll think I was lovely? And what's the point of drinking my health if I'm dead? :D

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If you've paid for it it will go down that much better.
They will think of you as the lovely lady who paid for the ale. :p

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Like that one;)

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I thought that it was the job of the deceased´s nearest and dearest to pick the music. It seems a bit presuming to choose your own, especially with lovey dovey stuff.

Imagine some stuffy old aunt that everyone is patiently waiting to snuff it for all her dosh and she chooses something inappropriate. Sighs and moans all round.

My family know that I would prefer cremation as I´m scared of the dark but the music, should there be any, will be their choice. ´Love ya, Mum´ would be good!!

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OOh I love that song too Brian!

Funny you should mention this subject Gayle. Just recently our Relief Society (women's group at church) have been discussing the same thing and drawn up some draft funeral plans that people can fill in and then leave with their loved ones so they know exactly what the deceased would like. Maybe it's because we've had so many deaths recently amongst our congregation. The plans have got things on like who you would like to give a talk and what songs/hymns you would like. Of course that's always presuming the proposed speaker doesn't predecease you. I must admit I haven't filled mine in yet but my immediate family know that I would like to be cremated and where I would like my ashes to be scattered.

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As well as the sounds I probably plan the whole thing in advance the same way as a wedding is. After the cooking and lobbing under a tree they can do as they please.

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Just what my Mum has done down to how many family cars are needed!!!

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I think i would like a couple of my favourite songs played nothing soppy though!
Probably something by Iron Maiden,Lola by the Kinks and Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues!
A mixed bag to represent who i am!

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Well Ian left a disc clearly marked to be played at the end of his service and it was played, think when you have got quite a few putting input you could all have different ideas of what is right. See nothing wrong in granting a loved one their last wishes!!!

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I will have chosen mine to cover my life. :p

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I think i would rather choose what i thought best represented my life then let people argue over whether this song or that song sums me up best.
And by some small chance i can here whats going on i want to listen to some good tunes!!

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Do you remember when Blanche on Corrie had a wake for herself,,,,not a lot of love or songs there,,,,:D

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Living in a box
Fire.
Baby I'ts cold outside:D

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LOL!!
Bet that would get people smiling!
Best way to remember somebody!:)

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don't think its egotistical B.B. my missus chose her music n that was summat she certainly was not. i think it was very apt n gave me a bit of solace at the time.

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Agreed Cashy!!! Who but yourself can know what is appropriate for you???

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Josh Groban or Andre Bocelli ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Panis Angelicus
Mat Monroe ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Softly as a leave you..
Sarah Brightman,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Time to say goodbye

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no mercy - kuschelrock - when i die
and oasis

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Through work I rehoused and supported a lovely man who had terminal throat cancer... for his funeral he had chosen "Always look on the bright side of life" from the Life of Brian... certainly made a few people smile at his funeral...and I even chuckled at the vicar cringeing when it got to the swearing in it :D

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Surprised he allowed it.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

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That's one of my Dad's that he's chosen. :D
He certainly won't be bothered about offending a priest or vicar - he's made his views on religion very well known within the family.

Because my Mum is a Catholic, in order to be allowed to get married in a church my Dad had to go through the training stuff. The first thing the Priest said, was 'so, we'll start with the basic assumption that you believe in God', my Dad replied, 'I wouldn't start there if I were you'. I think the Priest just gave up hope and let them get on with getting married. :D

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I Like My Baby's Pudding - Wynonie Harris
Keep On Churning Til The Butter Comes - Wynonie Harris
I Want My Fanny Brown - Wynonie Harris
(and if the vicar or whoever says any of these "aren't appropriate for the occasion" he can go take a running jump).

A bevy of mysteriously beautiful women who nobody's ever seen before weeping softly at the back of the room.
(I'll probably have to hire these in advance, but I just like the thought of people nudging each other and saying "he was a dark horse, wasn't he?").

A sausage roll-themed buffet at Lilly Mae's.

Ashes scattered on the Clayton End.

Sorted. :D ;)

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Couldn't find the exact title perhaps this is the one you meant Margaret?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0NpJ7mcfPo

Far, Far Away - Slade

The words do seem appropriate!

:)

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Yes Less, the words are appropriate...but I was never a great fan of Slade...far to rambunctious.......Somewhere far far way, wasn't the name of a song...it was where I will be......but then I have a sneaking suspicion that you already knew that......you rascal :D

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Was it Tricia's funeral you were at Gayle??

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A funeral's purpose is to help the bereaved overcome grief.

The deceased don't care whether it happens or not.
This was brought home to me when my dad's spirit contacted me the night before his funeral, and his closing comment was 'Enjoy the day. I won't be there as I have better things to do'

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Suppose thats true but my mischievous side would want to make sure that though a somber grief laden moment that I could have em laughing.

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All the modern technology we have, video's of Weddings, Christenings etc. but I don't suppose we'll ever hear anyone say, "Shall we watch Grandad's funeral again?",
After all in it's own way it is supposed to be celebrating someone's past life as well as mourning their death. Perhaps it would, in some circumstances even help?

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What a good point and am sure it would help many people!!!!

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I was at my sister's funeral yesterday and people was taking pictures! pictures for crying out loud. It did my head in. Sister in law even took pics of all the flippin' flowers, and her hubby, my brother, said he had a special box at home were he would keep all the sympathy cards n stuff. :eek: Is it me or does this sound wierd? I through all mine out today for recycling, (do you think I did that too soon?) because at the end of the day I will allways know that my sister is now gone, I will allways remember all the good(and bad) times we had together. I need no evidence of her life, it's all in my heart. I have lots of pics of her when we were together and lots of funny vids too. I also have her hubby and 2 sons to laugh with (or cry if needs be).
I just don't understand WHY people would want pics and stuff like that!!

For the wake we did as she wanted which was to celebrate her life, she diddn't even want people to come in drab dark clothes.

Gail xxxx

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All my cards are here and I will keep them, I like reading all the lovely comments people wrote about Ianto. At the end of the day it is how you feel about things, we all have memories to make us laugh and cry. As for photos took some to send to his sister in Australia.

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I can understand that hun, for people who can't make it, it must be hard. My dad couldn't make it as he was away, but he sent flowers and gave his sympathies before he left.
My brother just wanted pics to keep of the day, (wierd).

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No, she was called Cheryl.

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What is weird to some will be a great help to others. Grief is such a funny old thing but if the pics help your brother that is all that matters.

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I kept the cards that people sent me when my dad died.......I just couldn't read them at the time.....it was emotionally too much for me. It took something like the passage of seven years before I could read them all.......I still have them somewhere.
Everyone grieves differently, and at different rates, some people are comforted by one thing, others by something entirely different.......we should not deny someone the comfort they need because it doesn't fit in with what is traditional......remember the Victorians made keepsakes and jewellery out of the deceaseds hair.....but things and times change.
Whatever gets you through those dark days has to be accepted.

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I reckon it would help. If per say the deceased had wanted them to be happy in say an Irish wake then they could look at the film and say that he got the send off that they wanted. I am one who hates drab somber funerals and think that they can do more harm than good. I have an uncle who jokes his way through life and would like to think we sent him on in death the way he lived. If filmed i would like to think he would have approved of a riotous joke laden life and interspurse it with clips of him at his best. :D

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I despise funerals, though I'm no fan of weddings either - having said that I dont like doing things because its the way people "just do them" in any case - If something's done a certain way, I will always try to find a way of being different (some would say the technical term for that is 'pain in the ass') - so for me, I.d have to go by being run over by an ambulance and I couldnt honestly care less what happens to me after that, though something like the vikings did would be acceptable - no music, just a burning raft :D

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The music I chose for my husband's funeral was very, very personal to both of us; Glenn Miller's "Moonlight Serenade", part of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" and a variety of Miller and Presley as we left the crematorium chapel.

Colin didn't believe in lavish funerals and had always said he'd really prefer it if I could put him in a plastic bag and take him to the tip, though we both thought it would be many more years away. The funeral ceremony was as simple as I could make it, but tailored to celebrate him and his life, and his ashes were scattered over a meadow.

There's no memorial - he was always adamant about that - but having chosen music we both loved it's heard often in our house and, well, it's just part of me and him. I don't need music to remind me of him but it's his memorial none the less.

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Good for him and still treasured all the same,

I hope to be at the Crem' about 11.15 A.M. nobody in the fancy dress of vicar's, priest's etc. (I know a few, usually a good laugh so they are welcome), 3 minutes worth of a get together type song, watch the bin bag get lowered to the furnace and one of my kids shouting, "right back to the car by the time we get there, the bar will be open"!
:)

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When i go I dont want flowers at my funeral, waste of money!!, they charge such daft prices + i dont want my name putting in the paper either, all my nearest and dearest will know iv popped me cloggs, so no need to waste money on that.

I dont want a priest/vicar whatever you call em....i dont believe so i dont need them to tell everyone iv gone to 'god', because i know i wont, if anything im going below:D....LOL
after the funeral i want a good pi$$ up and everyone to be happy and celebrate my life not be miserable.
But songs i would like to have, but havent decided what yet, so lets hope i dont pop it soon:rolleyes:

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My Ma says she doesn't want anyone other than her family to be at her final gathering........she wants no announcements in any papers...promises she will haunt me if I don't comply....no flowers, she says if she wasn't worth flowers while she was alive then she won't have them when she is dead.......she wants us to take her ashes to Ronda and cast them into the gorge(like we did with Pa).......I really do dread the day!

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I will get a catholic funeral.....which are very somber affairs .... I want cremating and throwing off the top of pendle hill (its a family thing)

Then a massive party!!!! celebrate my life not my death!!!

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Lets hope its not a windy day then, or some poor sod will get ya ashes in their mush if its blowing towards em:rolleyes:;)

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funny story......... well not that funny really lol....

When my grandad died we took his ashes up.... checked the wind direction and threw the ashes........as soon as we let go, wind direction changed and blew the ashes back at us!

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If I should die, think only this of me, that there's some corner of a foreign field that is forever Clayton-le-Moors (bottom end of course):D


My apologies to the poet:cool:

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We had "End of the line" by the Traveling Wilburys at the close of my stepdad's (Ossyclogger) funeral, he was a big Wilbury's fan and it seemed appropriate !
I would have to choose " Halleleujah" sung by either Rufus Wainwright or John Cale and probably some totally disrespectful Beautiful South track like "Old red eyes is back" , maybe a bit of KD Lang ......hmmmm.
I think it's a good idea to have a plan, takes a lot of the stress off your recently bereaved family.

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"Crying" with KD Lang and Roy Orbison would be good ... never heard of "Old Red Eyes Is Back" but there are some good tracks on a rare CD by Brent Spiner, "Old Yellow Eyes Is Back."

And I have a plan ... I plan to die:alright:

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I'm not sure about photos from funerals but i kept all my Mum's rememberence cards because there were lovely things written about her and we got so many it showed us how much she meant to so many people,i look through them from time to time if i'm feeling a bit blue and reading all the lovely memories of my Mum makes me feel better.
Guess its all down to personal preference though.

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Sorry to hear of two sad losses of two young women

er indoors did your sister work at the co op in great harwood??

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Thanks Cashy!
You are a big softy!

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Music choice up to them so long as it's summat i like from Beatles, oasis, Elvis, M & M, Texas, what ever.
Funeral to be kept simple and has cheap as they can possibly make it.
No tears to be shed for me. They have got to have fun with a capital F.
Party, party, party is the order of the day.
celebrate my life not mourn my death.
My Ashes are to be thrown to the winds, somewere nice.

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I don't want a funeral.

If whoever decides they want to give me one, that is up to them.

I'd much rather enjoy the beauty of music and flowers whilst I'm still on this mortal coil.

There'll be no headstone, and no physical reminder of my life.

That's my choice.

If I am to leave any legacy, it will hopefully live on in the people I have loved whilst on this planet.

:)

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Well that just about says it all for me aswell.Thank you.:)

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Yes hun, she did.

Gail xxxx

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Just a point Gayle – it is always very sad when someone dies regardless of age and sex.

Picking just three tunes is going to be very, very difficult. But here goes.

I would start off with the beautiful and moving:
“Prelude To Act1 La Traviata” played by the New York Metropolitan Opera Orchestra

Followed by something to laugh at. It’s a toss up between:
“It’s In The Book” by Johnny Standley
and
“Our Joe Won’t Be With Us Much Longer” a monologue read by Al Read

Ending with as my coffin disappears into the flames:
“We’ll Meet Again” played by the Lew Stone Orchestra with vocal by Sam Browne.

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PM sent :)

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