Lazy women
 

Serious question - Do you think women are getting lazier? When I look back to the life my dad and grandad have I have to say without doubt they are

My wife irons my shirts and trousers but there is no way she will do my socks or underpants. She expects me to put my dirty washing in the wash basket and side the table before she does the dishes. When she works afternoon shifts I am expected to make my own tea. She tries to clean my shoes but she is useless at it so I always end up doing the final polish myself. I drove her into town today and dropped her off to do the shopping I didn't even get a thank you.

What experiences do others have with their lazy other halves

Re: Lazy women
 

Oh my, you're asking for trouble. Expect plenty of red karma.

Re: Lazy women
 

She must be lazy.

She hasn't mustered the energy to leave you...yet.

:D

That's my point Garinda. Most women are too idle to shiver

Re: Lazy women
 

Technology has made everyone lazier.

I can't even remember the last time I heard of a tit being caught in a mangle.

:D

Re: Lazy women
 

Lol, have you watched Death Wish recently?

Good luck.

:D

Re: Lazy women
 

Too many men have Andy Capp as a role model.

Re: Lazy women
 

If I were married to you.....I would certainly have no qualms about ironing your socks and your underpants......but, I would wait until YOU were in them. I'd starch them for you too!
And, when you started walking like you had left your horse, I would hide the Zinc ointment. After all, you deserve a caring wife....not a servant.

Proof of point - she has just finished mowing the lawn and the first thing she does is ask me to make her a brew. I mean she is already stood up. I'm led on settee watching the rugby. Case proved m'lord

Re: Lazy women
 

In general who raises the men, who expect to be waited on hand and foot?

Women!

They only have themselves to blame.

:D

Re: Lazy women
 

This is not a serious thread it should be moved to'Anything Goes'right away.

Re: Lazy women
 

I think Claytoner is deadly serious and he has his wife's permission to say so:rolleyes:

The telephone just rang. I thought I'll wait to see how long it takes for her to answer it. Thirteen rings. Granted she had to come from upstairs but thirteen seems excessive to me

Re: Lazy women
 

A Role model indeed, should be on the School coriculum.

Re: Lazy women
 

Just like bee drones, men have shorter lifespans.
When they no longer serve a purpose (procreation of species), they tend to die off (some more quickly than others).

In order to ensure that your 'worker bee' will take the trouble to prolong your life with care, you need to abandon the drone mentality and offer mutual caring.

Re: Lazy women
 

Why:D

I don't want to give the impression it's all negative. She has just brought me a beer from the fridge without me asking her to. She is a love. She didn't pour it for me though. I coughed whilst I poured it just to let her know she had done half a job

Re: Lazy women
 

She probably couldn't pour it correctly

Re: Lazy women
 

I'm not lazy, full time single mum, work 8 - 5.30 3 days a week, cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping,
D.I.Y etc, and entertaining my little dude, so I suggest give your wife a kick up the bum for bringing disgrace to women kind

Re: Lazy women
 

I'm 57 tomorrow, work full time and have done for over thirty years having worked part time when my children were very small, run a home and have brought up three children, I wouldn't call myself lazy, and I'm sure there are millions of women in my situation. Unfortunately for the men who think they have a built in servant as a wife/partner, things moved on in 1973 when women got equal rights. I'd love to stay at home and wait on my partner hand and foot and be a happy housewife, but the reality is unfortunately different - so gentlemen, pour your own beer, do your own ironing, help with the cleaning and children or alternatively earn enough to enable your other half to look after you - if she wants to that is, and doesn't want a life of her own!

Re: Lazy women
 

Oh and as well as all that I got a degree, just thought I'd mention it!

So Anne would you say all women are as hard working as yourself or do you think the majority of women are indeed lazier and it's the minority such as yourself who are hard working?

Since my last post my dearest has gone to the local Indian takeaway. She forgot my naan bread bless her

Congratulations on your degree Anne. Was it in Home Economics?

Re: Lazy women
 

You need to put a bigger worm on your hook.

Re: Lazy women
 

Not a good comparison, Honey Bee Queens, can live more than two years, drones a month or two, worker bees have an avarage life span of 6 to 8 weeks.
Retlaw.

Re: Lazy women
 

I was being gentle by not mentioning black widow spiders ;)

Re: Lazy women
 

I am unfortunate enough to have to look after my wife night and day due to her illness and maybe I am going against my gender but now I realize just how hard working she was.
Not only did she work but came home to cook, wash and clean for me, even clean my boots for work and made my breakfast as I was getting up.


I have had a crash course in using the microwave and found a quick route to a chippy, I know how to make a bed and wash up. Luckily I can afford a cleaner twice week, something we didn't have when she worked.

I am not crawling to the females on here, just stating a fact.

Re: Lazy women
 

A bigger worm would be good;) I get lots of mail in my junk box from folks offering bigger worms; so, it shouldn't be all that difficult to get one.:D

Re: Lazy women
 

The blue pill is the easy way out

"You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." -Morpheus

Re: Lazy women
 

Well said Gremlin and congratulations on your honesty.

My partner has found much the same thing recently as he has been doing much of the things I normally do but can't at the moment due to illness. He now realises what goes on to keep things running smoothly at home. And he's doing a fulltime job as well. I'm eternally grateful to him for taking on these tasks but it doesn't stop me getting cross at him when he comes home with the wrong shopping or doesn't understand when I tell him how to cook something. Roll on the day when I can get back to normal and at least give the house a good clean - fancy looking forward to something as mundane as that!

Re: Lazy women
 

No....Noooooo! Eric...don't want a bigger one of those kind of worms......(besides, I thought they were called bed snakes.......I have a bed bat that deals with those very nicely).
I meant the kind of worm that baits hooks that anglers use........I fear Claytoner is doing a bit of hooking.......but unless he uses better bait he will have nothing worth eating for tea.

I'm pretty hungry now. You think the way my stomach was rumbling she would lift her carcass out of the chair and make me something

Re: Lazy women
 

Send her down to Tesco

Re: Lazy women
 

Were you his first wife?

Is that what you cited in court, as the reaon for you wanting a divorce?

http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/ani...s/verterre.gif

:eek:

Re: Lazy women
 

I would say that the vast majority of women are as hard working as me, I know that generally women tend to work, run a home and family and do more in the home than the man does. I don't personally know any women who don't work either part or full time unless they've retired after a lifetime's work.
Some women as well as men enjoy a life of leisure on benefits and unless there's a valid reason I disagree with their ethic.
And no my degree is not in Home Economics but nice try!

Re: Lazy women
 

I used to hide my money under the iron till she saw a tenner poking out of the edge.Gutted, After that I took no chances and stuck It under the hoover.:hehetable

I really hate it if she hoovers when I'm in the house. I mean, after all only her needs to hear it. She should Hoover when I'm socialising with the lads in the pub.

Re: Lazy women
 

What's a hoover guys?

It's something the wife pushes round the carpet to wind me up. I couldn't tell you what it does apart from make a lot of noise

Re: Lazy women
 

I think you all sound a bit hen pecked!

I wouldn't mind being hen pecked if she got off her derrière and made my life easier

Re: Lazy women
 

Try sweet talking her then! Also, flowers, chocolate, sparkly things and fizzy stuff might do the trick!

Re: Lazy women
 

That will only make her flatulent

Re: Lazy women
 

Surely not if she's a lady!

Re: Lazy women
 

One will do it quietly

Re: Lazy women
 

The problem unfortunately is the lack of Gentlemen in Accy, Anne.

Re: Lazy women
 

I'm sure you could cope with that, I'm sure from my own experience that she puts up with far worse!
Trust me, treat her nicely and everything you want will be yours! (Or alternatively if she's not used to it she might think you're bothering elsewhere so be careful!)

Re: Lazy women
 

Thats a waste of good money, and the effect soon wears off.

Re: Lazy women
 

I should hope so, we don't want any o them upsetting the good order of things.

Re: Lazy women
 

Darling Monster - the problem is that we don't want the natural order of things to be upset, therefore a few scratches in the right points and we're all happy more or less. Otherwise if we ladies start to reclaim...:D

Re: Lazy women
 

Oh dear, all we want is treating well, and the world might once be yours again..... maybe!

Re: Lazy women
 

You should appreciate her more.

Besides, the milk man says your wife's got tons of energy.

Full of beans.

:rolleyes::D

Re: Lazy women
 

He always remarks on the effort she puts in, donkey stoning the front step, after making his deliveries there.

;)

Re: Lazy women
 

You should change the comics you read, people are taking you serious

Re: Lazy women
 

Who?

Perhaps you should read the writing in the speech bubbles, and not just look at the pictures, in your comic.

;):D

Re: Lazy women
 

My donkey stone is at the ready - but we don't have a milkman here - all that hard work for nothing...

Mind you the postman comes every day...:D

Re: Lazy women
 

That's nice for him.

I hope you don't give him a tip at Christmas, as well.

http://www.smilie-harvester.de/smili...fe/postman.gif

Re: Lazy women
 

his mother.

Re: Lazy women
 

Ah, that's nice.

You should have quoted her.

Made yourself clear.

Unless the cat's got her tongue.

:rolleyes:


http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...ylrFPqygsJ1nK7

Re: Lazy women
 

Not if you still have some of those plastic daffodils that you used to get free from Daz and Omo, you can give, give, give..and bless their little hearts if you spray them with Zoflora every coupla weeks they'll never twig the ruse

Re: Lazy women
 

It takes much more effort to frown, and you use more calories, than it does to smile.

It's the same with spitting.

So perhaps some ladies aren't as lazy as some would have you believe.

Re: Lazy women
 

Cheeky - you have obviously been away for too long and I have let my guard down. :rolleyes::D

Easy to let standards slip - just goes to show how important it is to keep the old (or not so old;)) grey matter in training in case of attack.

PS my postie is always welcomed with a kiss -cheek to cheek , Italian Style -he doesn't expect a tip at Xmas being well-satisfied throughout the year...:)

Re: Lazy women
 

Not to worry ... women can't fart; they don't keep their mouths closed long enough to allow the pressure to build up.

Re: Lazy women
 

As you all know, I have been in touch with my feminine side for a number of years. If there is one thing I have discovered it is just as easy to ignore the housework yourself as it is to have some woman ignore it for you.
Mine used to have her own method of getting the house tidied without lifting a finger,she would go out buy paint, paper and the sundries required for decorating on a Friday, leave a note telling me she had buggered off to her sister's for the weekend and would be back Sunday night to inspect the newly decorated kitchen/living room/bedroom/whatever.
The accumulated detritous of neglected corners would of course need to be cleared & strange shaped pieces of essential but ignored furniture would have to be moved before this task could be undertaken. Not once did she even consider preparing a room for that particular weekends 'Mission Impossible'.
She would of course have ensured that not only were there no meals prepared for the week-end but she would not even have stocked the fridge, after all if she's not there no-one else needs to eat do they?

I learnt that the simplest way to clear the room for action was to fill the corners of other rooms with the crap (where because of her house proud tendencies it would no doubt remain until she decided that particular room needed decorating).

When I first started decorating, I would prepare the surfaces, paper stripped down to bare walls, paintwork cleaned and sandpapered, towards the end none of this was done, just slap what I've got over whatever was already there, After all, decorating wasn't the main aim, cleaning the room was her objective and if she didn't have to do it then that was all the better for her.

At the very end of this routine close to when I finally got the house to myself, I would read her note, (gone sister's), and at the bottom of it add the simple phrase gone on the Pee with brother back Monday. This didn't add anything to the friendly atmosphere as I would be treated to a repeated version of, 'if I loved her I would have got on with it', for several months, mentioning that she could have cleared the space before leaving would only lead to that horrible silence where every action to 'accidently' make my life hell would be introduced.

Finally she left, I have discovered minimalism, I do the minimal amount of housework, minimal amount of decorating, all the clutter of useless ornamental furniture went in to a skip (couldn't minimalise that, I didn't know they made skips that big).

To the thread starter, please do not worry, one day you may be lucky enough to be on your own, you'll have a bathroom free of female bottles won't have to fight your way through drying tight's to use the bath, the toilet seat can be left in whatever position you wish and most importantly of all going to the fridge to get yourself a beer becomes a natural and pleasant experience because you won't have to fight your way past piles of fruit, veg' and sundry cuts of meat, because at last your fridge will only have beer in it, that is what the man that invented the fridge designed it for, things wouldn't be the way they are if that great man hadn't had a woman behind him turning a simple idea into something sooooo complex.

http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Jobs...on_painter.gif http://www.gifs.net/Animation11/Food..._margarita.gif

Re: Lazy women
 

There's a lot of them about and they're not necessarily spiders either:rolleyes:

Re: Lazy women
 

I take it you read Viz as well.

Re: Lazy women
 

Not for about twenty years.

When it went all heavyweight, and intellectual.

More laughs in The Guardian's wimmins' section.

:D

Re: Lazy women
 

You reading Pole Dance Polly then:D

Re: Lazy women
 

I like wimmin, although I don't go to the local wimmin pool anymore, my costume requires a darn in the elbow.

Re: Lazy women
 

Haven't you got the right colour of wool then?......or is it that you can't see to thread the needle:)

Re: Lazy women
 

Cant find the wooden mushroom.

Re: Lazy women
 

Can't you improvise?

Re: Lazy women
 

Whats that:confused::D

Re: Lazy women
 

Use an everyday item of a similar shape.

Re: Lazy women
 

I remember my Grandma used to have a wooden mushroom for darning socks.

Re: Lazy women
 

Thats the chap, also used for darning the elbows in swimming costumes.

I cant use other objects, tried using a portmanteau, couldn't get it down the sleeve, then tried using a posser, still no joy. Did try a slop stone, then got fed up, so went to find a new length of string to keep my straw boater on.

Re: Lazy women
 

Try super glue, corner of one of my jacket pockets came unstitched, stuck it with super glue, and it worked a treat, face ache said she would have sewn it, aye a thowt, in a month of Sundays, meanwhile that pockets no goood, well it is now.

Re: Lazy women
 

I remember my mum's darning mushroom, I'm quite a good darner myself, but no need to any more - it would probably cost more to darn than to buy new - unfortunately??? Unless of course men's swimming costume related.....

Re: Lazy women
 

Your cossy looks alright to me.

Hello! Hello! Who's your lady friend?
Who's the little girly by your side?
I've seen you with a girl or two.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I AM surprised at you.

Hello! Hello! Stop your little games.
Don't you think your ways you ought to mend?
It isn't the girl I saw you with at Brighton.
Who? Who? Who's your lady friend?

Re: Lazy women
 

You cant see from this picture but the elbows are shot, due to prolonged periods of doing the chicken song, with all the actions..altogether now "hold a chicken in the air"

Re: Lazy women
 

Don't do this to me! Only just got that blasted song out of my head from when I posted it on the animal and bird song names thread a few days ago!

Re: Lazy women
 

I have just warbled( I would have said'sung'....but I can't carry a tune in a bucket) that song to Spindles and he fell about laughing....hilarious, was what he called it.

Davemac - you don't really need elbows in your cossie....cut the sleeves short...show your real elbows.

Re: Lazy women
 

Yes, nevermind the upcoming Special Wooly Olympics.

He really needs to make sure his cozzy is decent, before the postponed Victorian Swimming Gala takes place on Broadway.

Knitty Nora could have darned it in no time, when she was in residence in the Market Hall, crocheting her arty gonks.

Now the weather's better, perhaps someone from H.B.C. will soon be announcing the new date for the gala.

Hopefully.

We were all soooooooooooooo looking forward to it.

:rolleyes::D

Re: Lazy women
 

Think the councillor in charge of the town centre will be anouncing it on Facebook:D

Re: Lazy women
 

I don't think cutting the sleeves short is the answer, it makes my mittens connected through the sleeves on elastic hang a bit funny.

All together now;

Hold a chicken in the air,
Stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet,
And then bury all your clothes............
:theband::bleedht:

Re: Lazy women
 

Have you stopped taking those pink pills?

Re: Lazy women
 

I have, but I have replaced them with "Bob Martins" I do feel a bit confused, but I do have a cold nose and my hair is all shiny.:dogrun:

The down side is , if someone throws a stick, I have to go and get it.

Re: Lazy women
 

Things seem a bit Rough Dave:D

Re: Lazy women
 

Some say i'm "barkin" but i'm alright Nowwwwwwwwwwwww

Re: Lazy women
 

We'll keep an eye on you at full moon:rolleyes:

Re: Lazy women
 

and I will lend you my epilator. Emjoi.....used once and put back in the box.
This will give you an idea why it is still in pristine condition.
http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/b...airy-mary.html

Re: Lazy women
 

I read it, one line makes me look at you in a different light "I am quiet hairy", anyway brushing that aside.........it will give you a parting.....Im being silly now..

It not epilating that I require, its something to stop me licking myself, on the carpet, in front of the telly, when we have company, then dragging myself across the carpet.......it was effecting my eyesight.........I will await this post being deleted by the moderators.

I have just discovered it was not Bob Martins tablets I have taken, it was Dr. Martins. I got them from Boots, and the laces tasted of liquorish..............nurse is it time for my medicine yet

Re: Lazy women
 

Don't know about medicine Dave think its the doctor you need:D

Re: Lazy women
 

or perhaps the Vet:)

Re: Lazy women
 

Don't think he's got distemper Margaret

Re: Lazy women
 

me neither, but he might have impacted anal glands......licking himself and dragging his bum along the floor could be symptoms that need investigation...or he might just need a 'worm cake'

Re: Lazy women
 

No, more likely a high gloss finish, from dragging himself across the carpet ;)

Re: Lazy women
 

I suggest castration.

Re: Lazy women
 

Whats poor Dave done to you:eek::eek::eek::D

Re: Lazy women
 

If I don,t leave this site shortly I,m going to have rabies or fleas!!

Re: Lazy women
 

Don't forget mange:D