100-word short story competition
 

The Lancashire Authors Association (LAA) are holding a competition for a 100 word (exactly) short story. See details on the website:
www.lancashireauthorsassociation.co.uk

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I might have a go at that

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Went to the pub and had a pint.Glugg glugg glugg went the beer as it went down.Dave walked in and we had a beer together.Glugg glugg glugg went that beer.

a few words or so later equating to around 100 of them in total i went for a kebab

The End ..

ill be expecting a movie deal outa this for sure :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Is that the "Less - The Movie"

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

If you check the Directors cuts, it was going to be a Chinese meal, but a reduced budget meant I couldn't have that and a taxi home.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

yes - names were changed to protect the guilty

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I've just reads the winning entry from last year's competition on their website - excellent. It takes the form of a widow's letter to her dear departed husband. Have a gander at it. www.lancashireauthorsassociation ; click onto the Competition buttons and scroll down.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

That link didn't work for me Bob.
I did consider entering, but when I saw that Rob(Restless) was going to enter....I knew I wouldn't stand a chance. :)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Don't be daft things aint about if yeh win or not, n anyway i think yeh would stand a damn good chance.:) Bobs link don't work fer me either.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

There's only one thing wrong with that Cashy....I struggle to say things briefly......that's way I don't do twitter(well, apart from thinking it, a boring and monumental waste of time).
I did start a story....and I may just have another go at it.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Just Google it. You will think it worthwhile. LANCASHIRE AUTHORS' ASSOCIATION

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

For some reason, what I type is getting changed. / www.followed by the 3 words.co.uk

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I've read it now Bob, and you are right......it is a worthy winner.

Re: Re: 100-word short story competition
 

:o what!!?!

Anyway. The only thing I worry about is my English ability

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I have actually written a story that is exactly 100 words long...now the question is...do I submit it?

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Yes you do, you are a brilliant story teller

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

2
Entry fee: £2.00 non-members; £1.00 members, payable through Paypal, via the button above, or by cheque, payable to “Lancashire Authors’ Association”.

3

Entries must be typed in double spacing on single sides of A4 paper, with a front page stating entrant’s name, phone number, and (where possible) e-mail address. Please also state story title and word count.....

Address and postcode

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Thank you Bernie...for your vote of confidence...are you on the judging panel:)?

I would have thought it would be possible to e-mail your story through......but not according to the rules...yet they will e-mail you to acknowledge receipt.

I do not mind the entry charge.
I have time to think about it...the closing date is not until the 30th of June.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I did have a nose at the site, but as to entering I baulked at the idea of no online entry & having to pay ! There's no reason as far as I can see & if they're after encouraging people to be literary & the proliferation of the English language as a whole in all its charms & nuances, then surely free entry & email would be better.

Just my views of course, still if folk fancy it why not start an Accyweb short stories thread/section.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I bet you could write 100 words in one sentence :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

One tries to elevate standards where one can my dear MargeR. :)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

The fee will ensure that the whole exercise is not massively over-subscribed , and offset the prize money. I suspect that the competition is a publicity exercise.

I am reminded of Somerset Maugham ( I think it was him) who gave a lecture on how to write a successful short story. His advice was that a winner would contain religion, sex and mystery. He closed by inviting his audience to write a story. Within minutes, a lady put up her hand and said she had finished hers. Expressinbg surprise at the speed at which she had written her story, Maugham invited her to read it out to the audience. She did so - " Oh my God, I'm pregnant. Who done it?"

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

If you don't submit it, post it on here ... And just so that you won't be left alone, swinging in the winds of criticism, I'll post one too;) You show me yours and I'll show you mine;):D:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Hmmmm...Eric. I fell for that one once before :D.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Only once, eh;) Well, that's your story, and no doubt you are sticking to it:D

By the way, I just wrote my story ... the hundred word thing is kinda tricky ... and my counting ain't all that good when I'm boxed.:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Yes only once Eric.......if you don't learn from your mistakes you're a damn fool

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I agree...the hundred words thing is very tricky...gives you no time to build a character, let alone a plot......and no chance for a sub plot.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Nor much for a plot either ... I left dialogue out too .... all those "he saids" and "she retorteds" use up too many words ... hyphenated words are handy ... and I didn't use a real character; more of an "everyman".

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Oh, I used me, but in a fictional event.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

It may be difficult. but it can be done. I repeat my suggestion that you have a look at last year's winner - a belter.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Yes, Bob, I have done it, but it wasn't easy.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Once you reach a number somewhere between 95 to 110 it gets simpler ... it's becomes a question or trimming or adding, and still maintaining coherence ... Have to admit it was an interesting experiment for me.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

And me...I'm not known for my brevity.:)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Ah ... the soul of wit;) And are you about to send your story on its way? What was it Chaucer said? "Go littel booke! go my littel tragedie":D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Though yeh didn't drink?:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Only through a straw Cashy. :)
Eric......I don't know. I haven't quite decided yet.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Just do it, Margaret. What have you got to lose?

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Yeah Margaret... get that drink down ya! and then submit your writing :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Nothing at all to lose......and it is worth £2 to get my brain activated.
So for now I won't post it here.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I have done one but won't be submitting it. Setting up the printer for this (newish) PC is just too much hassle. If on-line entries were allowed, I likely would have sent it in.




The Trip

I am ready to go. This trip has been a long time in the planning and will be the journey of a lifetime.

I have read all the available research to be knowledgeable about what I can expect when I get
there.

I will be traveling alone because I prefer to. I am proud of my self sufficiency.

I haven't packed because I will be traveling light. All needs will be met on arrival.

My family think I've booked a return ticket but I haven't. I don't like this place much.

Reminder to self - leave the will on the sideboard.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Very Good M. At Accrington Grammar School, we spelled your 46th and 66th word with a double 'l' and am surprised that this may not have been the case at Accrington Girls High School.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

My browser insisted I remove one 'L' - must be yankee spelling

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It's a bloomin' pain - all those "z"'s insead of "s"'s too...

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Yes it is, Margaret.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

This is becoming addictive :D

Done another one - you may get my biography eventually;)

The Battered Wife's Tale

He was tall and handsome, but there was something lacking in his eyes.

They had rear shutters as though some terrible secret lurked there.

I never saw his soul. I found out to my cost that he didn't have one.

He leached my emotion and thrived at my expense.

I tried hard but never pleased him.

When I escaped a death by his knife held hand, I broke free from him forever.

I grieved for the loss of love that I had never had.

Many years later he died violently and inexplicably.

What goes around comes around - karma really happens.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Well, here's my effort:

Post of Honour



In his hole, scratched pitiful and shallow, propped up on clumps of mud (*) and human offal, he lay, beyond shivering, so cold his body stink froze into a halo. The furthest east of his once proud, now dwindling horde of comrades, he scratched his snot-crud stubble, and fumbled at his crap-caked rifle, fixing his bayonet. The sky, hectic again with snow, bleakly blackened eastwards. Shadows in their thousands thickened into purposeful, inexorable advance. Numb fingers, curling, he squeezed the trigger and welcomed the inevitable searing release of an inferno less hellish than the frozen purgatory of his post.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Narrowing down to 100 words is hard work... :D

Bitterness

The gruesome tale finally told. He takes the syringe from his pocket and holds it
up in the light of the campfire. The two men across the campfire blur as he focuses
upon the needlepoint. He hears the recognition in their final exhalations. He must be
quick and administer the antidote.
His tale he had said was a simple one, in the first person perspective and that it was a true story.
He told them of a boy that was bullied throughout his childhood and how later the boy had bitterly
grown into man with one purpose in mind. Revenge

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

You both should have submitted those...they are very creditable.
Well done both of you.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Another attempt


Politics are not allowed in this house

Politics are not allowed in this house. They are but whispers that soak into the walls with all the damp and decay.

The son looks on yet again as his father punches the television screen. Support the opposite side if you must- but do it in secret. Keep those photographs of your favorite team in a safe place; away from his politics.

Share your opinion if you dare, but you must watch your reflection in the eyes of your siblings as they stare at this new television made of flesh and bone.

Only his politics are allowed in this house.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Rob you should not be putting them on here...you should be putting them into the competition.......I like both of your 100word stories......I like Erics too....I am just glad that it would not be me who was having to do the choosing.......write another, but don't put it on here put it in an envelope and send it is.......you never know, you might just win.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Can't speak for Restless, but if he is anything like me, just being able to see if I could do it is prize enough.;)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

well, now you've proved you can do it why not enter a short story?

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

And another.

Funeral.

So little time left. The clock, inching its way on, reminding her of the final deadline. Tomorrow at 3:00 pm. She had organized things in a general way, leaving the details to the funeral parlour and the caterer. And there she sat, fretting and fidgeting, as if she had eternity on her hands. Check the weather; damned front moving in. Weather not co-operating as usual. And still the most important detail insistently unresolved. Phone ringing again. "No, not yet, I haven't decided." "Yes, of course I know it's only hours away." Interfering fools! Soon, she must decide how to die.

Restless and me ... we is short story makin' maniacs:D:D:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Can't anybody write anything cheerful??

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

That did cross my mind too ... I haven't given it too much orgainzed thought as yet, but it seems to be more difficult to write humour in little. No, idea why. Maybe it's just me. But the short stories that stick in my mind ... "The Lottery" ... "The Smile" ... seem to tend to the dark side.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Maybe if you write something funny in a 100 words, it comes across as a joke rather than a short story.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

So kind Margaret thanks. Susie. You heard my songs lol

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Funny that you should say that Eric, as I had thought of thinking of a joke I know and writing it down in 100 words.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Dependent on your definition of cheerful, will this do Sue ?


Pup.

Baby blue eyes, nose so wrinkled and wet, soft and fluffy coat and that unmistakable scent. Puddles and poops “Oops a daisy!” Early days yet but she’ll learn, anyway, how can you be cross at such unconcerned innocence as she stand alongside that tell-tale patch. Then, as you look on smiling she knows she’s the centre of attention so right there and then it starts, the little waggle, spreading from the tip of the tail, to the hindquarters, then on up through the whole hound. She comes bounding, exuberant, playful, loving! You gather her up, you fuss her, your Pup!

:)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Yes thanks Dave, that lightens the mood a fair bit. "Sponsored by Andrex:)"

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Ultimatum

"I believe," said his secretary sliding the paper tentatively across the desk, "that these demands are non-negotiable." Tersely nodding his thanks, the PM stared through the drizzle-stained window, teasing the ultimatum with one finger. Sighing in resignation, he read. Three on the list. The first two were reasonable; he had already promised ... well, almost. But the third; how could he, conscious of the dignity of his office ... Her Majesty's Prime Minister ... accede to the last? But there it was, in bright crayon: "For my birthday I want a puppy and a pink princess dress. And you can be the clown."

Thanx Dave for the puppy idea:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Ta mum:D:hidewall:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

You are welcome Son.

I am begetting more sons on Accyweb than I could do in the normal way(himself always wanted sons - alas the train set and the football boots are long gone now - and his cherished cricket ball).......and anyway that ship has sailed a long time ago.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Oh well. This is my attempt at cheerful - Just for you

Today I Met A Doggywebber

Max comes running over to Bob and sniffs at his behind
"Hey you have been eating bacon!" says Max.
They both look over at Macman, Bob's human slave
"is he always like this" Max asks
"oh yeah, all the time, about hundred times a day"
Bob looks to the right, across the field there is a strange human spinning around holding a similar object
to what the Macman always carries with him. Max follows his gaze, sniffs and growls "cat owner"
"Where is your human slave?" Bob asks. Max suddenly runs off saying "Don't to
forget to write on doggyweb"

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I think once you have mastered the 100 words thing, it must get easier...certainly you and Eric seem to have found you niche.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I downloaded a program so I don't have to count the words :D

I was walking the coppice earlier and I saw a collie and thought.... Today I met a doggy webber :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I'm happy to share my muse with a brother of the fellowship. :)

At least these ones don't leave heaps of washing scattered all over the bedrooms, now isn't that a blessing ? ;)

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Yes Son, it is!

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Where else would one leave the washing? ... it's a gravity thing:D

I did buy a laundry basket, but as soon as it was full, Emma decided it would make a great cat bed. Oh, and a great place to cough up hairballs:mosher: The joys of living alone:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Anyone who likes cats is OK in my book...and cats always find the best places to spit up hairballs.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Ladies & Gentlemen, I present for your contemplation ..........

Gone but not forgotten

Well that’s that then! There’s an empty space at the bar were you’d stand, were we’d chat about much and nothing, putting the World to rights with nothing more than our ideals and a few pints. I can’t believe I won’t see you there of a Friday night ever again, with your ready grin or shout of “I’ll get them in!” Mate, if only you’d just listened, but no ….. ever the chancer, you thought you could beat the odds, how wrong you were my friend. Still, the Landlords Daughter says you were “Kinda cute”, shame her Dad barred you!

:thankya:I Thangyu !

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

It was only the first one that gave me any trouble ... and it's the one I like the least. "Ultimatum", which I like best ... even tho' that's only my opinion ... took about 15 minutes ... including time out to make a sandwich, pour a beer, and smoke a joint. Now I need a new challenge. Something like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gadsby_(novel)

Looks like a winter storm will be coming through tomorrow ... yes, in April ... so I might give some thought to a new challenge. Or maybe I'll just crash on the couch, drink beer, and watch the idiot box.:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I don't know if it's that I like cats ... but cats seem to like me:D All my cats are strays ... Emma and Pookie arrived on my front porch lost and hungry (Pookie was just a kitten), and Angus and Babs popped in for a visit when I opened the front door ... they never left. There's gotta be a story in there somewhere:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Eric...I think you are right... cats choose their owners.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I read that Cats see you as part of their family and not the other way around :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Dogs have owners; cats have staff. And cats were once worshipped as gods; cats have never forgotten this.;)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Churchill observed: "A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal."

Now if only I could write a 100 word story about a cat, a dog, and a pig.:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Whoa the time, where did it go.

Pity this competition isn't 300 words. I wrote 3 more and they are a true story about a cat. From 3 perspectives. Me, The Cat and the Vet.

I couldn't stay cheerful for long

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I thought they saw you as their servants....I only have one cat now...and she certainly sees me as her servant.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Oh Eric, I am sure you could, if you put your beer down and thought about it....I never had you down as a quitter.:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Here we go, hon. And I didn't even have to put down my beer:D


This Little Piggy.


Harlequin sprawled in his hammock. The white-faced clown kept time with his baton as the cat paganinied. The dog stiffened, sniffed, and growled at the moon, and the cow leaping over it. Havoc reigned, and the wolves at the door bayed at the cow, and huffed and puffed. Porrige bubbled and burned on the stove, spattering the stove top and burning the myopic mice. Chaos usurped the throne; havoc slunk away and joined three passing bears who were lost, tired and hungry. The pot-bellied pig, annoyed, finished his shopping list, brushed past the exhausted wolves, and headed for the market.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Eric,can you include Jack and the Beanstalk versus Aladdin in your next 100 worder?
Fe, Fi ,Fo,Fum,Your wish is my command (first line):D:D:D:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Hey there, bud ... it's baseball season.:mosher: You're on deck; batter flies out. It's time to step up to the plate. You can do it:D:theband::D Play ball!

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

See, I knew I was right!

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Here is a story containing A Pig, A Cat, A Dog and A Farmer


His wife never liked them. He loved them. The farmer does a frantic search of the farm to find them. Ben is a golden retriever and Dottie is a ragamuffin cat. He had been busy and he hadn't seen them all day. He thinks back to the day when his wife made him watch the movie "Snatch" and the scene where the bad guy told of how easy it was to dispose of bodies using pigs. A chill goes down the farmers back as he heads towards the piggery. Among the pigs he found scattered blood, teeth, hair and whiskers.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

All I had to do was get a little weird:D And now, it's your turn. Give it a whirl ... not the one that you are going to officially submit, but just a trial run ... or a couple of them. "The time has come," the Canuck said,/"To write of many things ..... ";) Do something brillig ... and if slithy toves get in your way, well, you can always use your vorpal sword .... it's time to start galumphing:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

"Oh it's that stupid human again" says Max
Bob looks at the television and snarls "The Dog Whisperer" Then Laughs aloud "Oh its
funny that he seems to think he controls them"
Max licks his testicals and says "yeah stupid humans watch this program
and think they will learn something that will help them control us"
Conspiratorially Bob whispers "It keeps humans occupied and distracted from the real
purpose of the program"
Max tilts his head and asks "How can you know all these things?"
Just then Margaret the cat enters the room and says "he gets them from me"

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Fall Back

The fifteen minute drive on the road to and from work was so familiar to me that I could probably have done it with my eyes closed.

I often failed to recall any aspect of the journey, so it felt as though the travel was instantaneous.

Then there came a time when I arrived fifteen minutes before the time I had departed, and that time shift backwards increased with every trip.

I began to wonder how long would it be before I regained a whole day of my life.

I will be able to tell you the answer yesterday.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I think this is one of the very best threads on Accyweb at the moment.
Margaret, I loved it, but wish you had kept it back to submit.......there hasn't been a bad story yet.......that's because I haven't put mine up :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Now, now ... you are being silly;) ... not like you at all.

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

4UMZ

Old buildings, New buildings. Who cares? Who owns number 60? who's 60th
birthday is it today? and are they going to have a party? Who cares? I care
about the party- If there is free beer; but not if it is a party for a certain
colour of tie. I don't wear ties.

Young Samuel cares- he wears a blue tie and says he wants to be savior.
A building hopelessly awaits his useless rubber hammer. He says we are
losers but perhaps his age, teenage as he be- is a little too young for politics?
Who cares? I don't!

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Ladies & Gentlemen, another little anecdote for your consumption. :)

Be careful what you promise

The phone tumbled from his cold lifeless hand, his mind seared of all coherent thought as he tried to assess the shocking revelations he’d just been given …… Excuses, he desperately needed excuses, or at least some reason to be as far away as possible this coming weekend but he’d promised hadn’t he?

And that promise was now coming back to haunt and taunt him! A foolish promise, made to placate and ease his hardship and guilt now required redeeming, time to pay the piper it seems, and the Mother in law, well, she’d be going home on the Monday.

Once again, I Thangyu :thankya:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Victory!

Monday. Two more days. Forty eight hours. But not just any forty eight, they were his weekend. He worked hard for this pause in his round of crawling through morning traffic on the 401. ... drinking bitter mud from the coffee machine ... putting up with his asshole of a boss ... His mother-in-law was speaking, her voice like fingernails on a blackboard. "And the cats," she squealed, "four is too many." "Can't you find homes for a couple."

"They have a home." he replied calmly, "They live here. You don't."

A victory. One he would pay dearly for, but still a victory.


My god ... we are getting to be a creative bunch:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I know, ferkin Frightnin innit !!! :s_aim1:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Now that we have the short story down pat, maybe we should start working on haiku:D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Bit optimistic that Eric, there's enough struggling with forming English, let alone Nippon. :D

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

It's just math ... and sillybulls ... and poetry doesn't have to make too much sense. Bonus is, if you write poetry the broads think you are sensitive:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Nah .... English is the best language for Haiku ... in fact, all poetry or prose.

A dog smiles passing.
Hectic rotting leaves blow clean
Soft snowdrop kisses.

That's me ... sweet and sensitive.:rolleyes: And now for another beer, a little belching, farting and scratching, and settling in to watch HOCKEY ... UFC on ice.:D Bring on the blood.:theband:

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

Sorry mate, but I can't see it myself, it just seems strange. but I can agree with the Beer thing though.

We're just back in from a Turkish restaurant/Bistro that we visit quite regularly & am now partaking of a Copper Dragon brew (Yorkingshire) "Black Gold", a good dark beverage with plenty of coloured & roasted malts, proper tasty, up there with Thwaites "Nutty Black". :)

Re: 100-word short story competition
 

I got me some Red Stripe in the brown stubbies ... goes well with the ganja I have in abundance:D