Accrington Web - One for the Boys -- and Girls

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One for the Boys -- and Girls

Will just paste this without comment -- what dare I say anyway ?

>WORDS WOMEN USE
>******************************
>FINE
>This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
>Need to shut up.
>
>FIVE MINUTES
>If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
>minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before
>helping around the house.
>
>
>NOTHING
>This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should
>be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
>
>GO AHEAD
>This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
>
>LOUD SIGH
>This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
>misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
>wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
>"Nothing"
>
>THAT'S OKAY
>This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
>man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
>deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
>
>THANKS
>A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
>welcome.
>
>Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can
>avoid if they re member the terminology!
>
>And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh
>
>
>You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.
>
>For example:
>
>
>
>
>1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you
>can see right through them.
>
>
>
>
>2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
>warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right
>buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
>
>
>
>
>3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
>
>
>
>
>4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to
>light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
>
>
>
>
>5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
>
>
>
>
>6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.
>
>
>
>
>7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
>
>
>
>
>8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
>
>
>
>
>9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
>years, but it's handy to have around.
>
>
>
>
>10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
>consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
>while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

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