Accrington Web

You know how it is, chaps... there is that nano-second when you realise you are just about to say something to the Light of Your Life that will land you in deep doo-doo's, but the signal from your brain couldn't run faster than the signal to your mouth to stop your vocal chords from singing like an operatic canary.
What's the penance we have to pay? yep, you guessed it. We are on janckers... a nookie ban, out of pure spite!

Man’s Errors, and length of time until you can expect to get "any".

Giggling at her for getting misty eyed at the end of a chick flick... 4 days
Using any expression other than making love, to refer to sex... 4 days
Tone of voice that she doesn't like while talking about her mother... 5 days
Actually saying no you don't want to go when she says.."It's okay if you don't want to go"...6 days
Shushing her during Match of the Day... 8 days.
Not allowing her to watch Desperate Housewives because there's a Three Stooges marathon on... 3 days
Bringing up the possibility of a threesome; With her friend... 6 days; With her sister... 18 days; With her mum... 6 months
Shrugging your shoulders and grunting when she asks how the makeup she just spent one & a half hours putting on, looks... 2 days
Showing up 1/2 hour late because there was a really cool police chase on TV... 3 days
Not answering quickly, or vehemently enough when she asks you if you would ever cheat on her... 12 days
Accusing her of having PMS; When she doesn't... 8days; When she does... 12 day
Failing to be serious about a relationship quiz in Cosmopolitan... 4 days
Casually remarking that if she decided she wanted a boob job, you'd be willing to pay for it... 6 days
Telling her to, "Shut the F*@k Up!" during Match of the Day... You are done for. You might as well join that Hebridian monastery where they don't speak, and live a life of celibacy; 'cos that's what life will be like from now on.

Oh dear, that's my once a month just sailed over the horizon. :o :D