Any

[Sparkologist]

You know how it is, chaps... there is that nano-second when you realise you are just about to say something to the Light of Your Life that will land you in deep doo-doo's, but the signal from your brain couldn't run faster than the signal to your mouth to stop your vocal chords from singing like an operatic canary.
What's the penance we have to pay? yep, you guessed it. We are on janckers... a nookie ban, out of pure spite!


Man’s Errors, and length of time until you can expect to get "any".

• Giggling at her for getting misty eyed at the end of a chick flick... 4 days
• Using any expression other than making love, to refer to sex... 4 days
• Tone of voice that she doesn't like while talking about her mother... 5 days
• Actually saying no you don't want to go when she says.."It's okay if you don't want to go"...6 days
• Shushing her during Match of the Day... 8 days.
• Not allowing her to watch Desperate Housewives because there's a Three Stooges marathon on... 3 days
• Bringing up the possibility of a threesome; With her friend... 6 days; With her sister... 18 days; With her mum... 6 months
• Shrugging your shoulders and grunting when she asks how the makeup she just spent one & a half hours putting on, looks... 2 days
• Showing up 1/2 hour late because there was a really cool police chase on TV... 3 days
• Not answering quickly, or vehemently enough when she asks you if you would ever cheat on her... 12 days
• Accusing her of having PMS; When she doesn't... 8days; When she does... 12 day
• Failing to be serious about a relationship quiz in Cosmopolitan... 4 days
• Casually remarking that if she decided she wanted a boob job, you'd be willing to pay for it... 6 days
• Telling her to, "Shut the F*@k Up!" during Match of the Day... You are done for. You might as well join that Hebridian monastery where they don't speak, and live a life of celibacy; 'cos that's what life will be like from now on.

Oh dear, that's my once a month just sailed over the horizon.

[MUMMIBOO]

I think you got it all about right there sparky!

Is this all spoken from experience ???LOL

[lettie]

Originally Posted by MUMMIBOO

Is this all spoken from experience ???LOL

Yes it is.... I'd let you all know just how long it will be before Sparky gets 'any' but I'm still trying to work it out........

[grannyclaret]

your better half sounds like she got it right ....now go and buy her some flowers ,choccies ,and let her loose with your credit card all afternoon ,and maybe you will get a repreve....................lol