50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill the lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Eastenders. As he approached me with his pasty white arms hanging out of a Nike vest,his smile told me it was dole day.
As I stood in line at the jobcentre thinking up reasons why I can't work,a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils.It was a mixture of weed,sweat and Lynx Africa!
I turned and there he was ,Dwayne,with his pants halfway down his arse,our eyes met and soon he was lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Marks. He had already tied his staffy to a post in an alleyway so we would not be disturbed.There was a tramp watching but it did not bother us,just added to the mystery. I knew then that this was love and my life would never be the same again.
I made a promise to him there and then that I would buy him a big screen plasma with the baby bonus.....

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I have read this before on a newspaper site.
A woman in the north east has been blogging her version of 50 shades of grey and her readers are trying to persuade her to get it published.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Margaret I got it in a email from a friend in Australia.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I swear I am going to have a meltdown if I hear about this turd novel one more time this week

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Have the decency to acknowledge that fact rather than copy and paste rubbish as your source, please.

Or even better ban the folk sending it to you, or don't post it.
:mad:

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

You and me both, Rob.

Hear hear.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

What am I missing?

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

There you go, Gremlin... betcha wish you hadn't asked...

Fifty Shades of Grey - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

There is an actual discrepancy which means it can't be in Accrington

It would have read between the sharps bins in the alley way at the side of Maundy

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

absolutely nothing...it is all media hype......the writing is juvenile, the story is contrived, but people buy it because of what the papers/media say about it.
'If you read what everyone else is reading, then you are inclined to think what everyone elses is thinking'(Haruki Murukami)...fortunately I have not lost my powers of thought or reasoning and can make my own decisions about what is good. I do not need the press, the media or the critics to tell me.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Well I did ask and yes, I wish I hadn't, thanks susie.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

even though it has a rating of 3 & 3/4 * on goodreads take a look at the reviews....

Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) by E.L. James - Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Before I learned it was from another source, I suspected that it was written by Atarah, Margaret R or Katex.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

We refined ladies have better taste than that.:mad:

IF we have such experience, we wouldn't advertise:rolleyes:

...AND you are no gentleman for saying that:p

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

M, I love it when you get your mad up.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Psychic vampire!

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

and can I just say, its an AMAZING book tee hee

Dont knock it till you've read it.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I had a job where I had to ask unmarried mothers how? and who?
.....it won't seem original to me.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Going through Manchester airport recently thought I'd have a quick peruse of it at one of the bookshops there -completely sold out.

Shame wanted to see what all the fuss was about -and how much you can get away with when writing about sex from a woman's point of view...

Have bought the mask with the plumes -am just not sure what to do with it yet...or with whom!:rolleyes::D

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Perhaps if they had read this they may have been less incompetent - but as a rule "so-called" unwanted pregnancies are only unwanted by the State -not the mothers in many cases...nature ensures that we procreate one way or another.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

An example -
When proving a man is the father, before the days of DNA tests, there needed to be 'proof of association', preferably from reliable witnesses.

"My mate was a few feet away on the grass having it off with his mate."

PS the venue was Milnshaw Park

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Proper class that. :rolleyes:

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I recall once struggling to explain matrimonial law to a woman who did not understand the word 'adultery'.

I found myself saying -
' Have you done anything like what he has?'

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Not for me.
Badly written trash. I had a free sample read of it on amazon Kindle.
I wasn't impressed.

I think tthe popularity has been whipped up by media hype.
I can find other more satisfying ways to waste my time........dusting and ironing are preferable to reading this book.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Yes I agree and I avoid ironing at all costs it makes me aggressive! I read the description of the book on Amazon - it made me shudder!

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Gobsmacked that nearly three thousand people have reviewed it on Amazon UK!

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

The attention it is getting... is like it is the novel version of basic instinct and that was equally as dire

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

some woman had written a letter to the newspaper slating those who didn't like the novel....apparently she loved it and it had done wonders for her bedroom activities....she deemed to call those of us who didn't find it an enthralling read, boring and said we should get back to our dull little lives.
My conclusion was, that it might be her life which was dull....if she really needed this book to spice it up a bit.
Tripe....and I hate tripe!

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

When I initially heard the title I thought it was referring to 50 shades of the colour grey - as in the hair on old people's heads. Then I read it - I only did this because it was lent to me of course and I had nothing better to do at the time - and discovered the Grey related to the main man's name.
Don't know what all the fuss is about - found it a bit boring and repetitive, and though did have a bit of a story line it could have been condensed into one book instead of 3. Btw, have just finished the third! (but only because I wanted to know how it ended). Would like to know where the author got all her 'playroom' knowledge from....the mind boggles (and it wasn't while she was dusting and ironing, Margaret!).

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Maybe her imagination ran riot while she was dusting and ironing...or maybe she read it some other book

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

For some reason this had me thinking of Shirley Conran's book "Superwoman" (I have a copy!) - it's a manual for the good housewife though Ms Conran did go on to write "Lace" in the 80's which was full of bedroom activities but did not include making the perfect bed and how to tuck your sheets to get a pristine corner as only nurses know how.

We all have our fields of expertise - as the saying goes "You make your bed then you have to lie in it".:D

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

Yes...I was alluding to the fact that you don't necessarily have to have participated in erotica(or what passes for erotica...personally I think what one person finds erotic can be a turn off to others) to know of its existence.
During my working life I was told things that should have made my hair curl.......but it didn't make me want to go out and try some of the things that these 'ladies' told me.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I do remember an old statement,

To use a feather during sex can be erotic, to use a whole chicken is perverse.

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

I am relieved to say that I now regard it as an overrated pastime.

...but fondly recall the time when I didn't;)

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

That made me chuckle, you've brightened up my evening!

Re: 50 shades of Grey/Accrington
 

yes.....it gives the phrase 'I'm just stuffing the chicken' a whole new meaning!