Embarassing Questions Always At The Wrong Time.

[Less]

I was watching the film Zulu earlier today and was reminded of the fist time I saw it at the Cinema.
Early sixties I think I was about nine, my dad took me to see it.
The place was jam packed, about 10 minutes into the film the Zulu men and women are dancing in front of each other and the parsons daughter asks why the women are pointing with small spears?
The parson replies that the spears are a symbol that the women have been chaste.*

It is at this point this child in a loud voice enquired, "what does chaste mean Dad?"
The Cinema went strangely quiet everyone stopped munching their crisps at the same moment.
The reply came in a hoarse whisper, "it means they are still virgins son".
"oh right", says I.
We went back to watching the film.
About 5 minutes later the curiosity got the better of me, "Dad, whats a virgin"? This time my poor old Dad shrank physically into his seat wishing the earth would swallow him up, because the whole Cinema erupted in laughter.

I bet he wished he'd taken one of my older brothers that day rather than me! It really must have seemed like a long film to him after that.

So, who have you asked or been asked an untimely question by someone? And how did you cope?

*cue all the carry on jokes about being chaste but never caught.

[Margaret Pilkington]

I can remember being on a Corporation bus with my daughter. She was about five years old at the time and very inquisitive.
The bus conductress (yes they did still have them at that time) was a little.......er, manly would be the best description....my daughter asked very loudly....if the conductor was a man or a woman. I told her it was a lady....she then loudly went on to say 'well, she looks like a man'.
We were going into Accrington, but we got off the bus at the hospital and walked the rest of the way into town.

Another time...again on a bus. We sat on the long side seats of the bus. Opposite us was a lady in a very advanced state of pregnancy.
My daughter who was perhaps seven years old by then. Fixed her eyes on the bump, looked right at the lady and said loudly........'I know what you've been doing'.
The lady blushed...and so did I.
It wasn't that my daughter knew much about reproductive activity......I had told her that if she kept on biting her nails, her belly would swell up and she would go off with a bang.

Those are my embarassing stories.