Legends Of Burnley

[emamum]

Ive found this group on face book... its about the more
(ahem) interesting ppl of burnley.. thought i would share it with you. Some of these are well known local's like the big issue man...Ive met a few of them

Not sure if it works if you are not a facebook member tho..

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[jaysay]

Originally Posted by emamum23

Ive found this group on face book... its about the more
(ahem) interesting ppl of burnley.. thought i would share it with you. Some of these are well known local's like the big issue man...Ive met a few of them

Not sure if it works if you are not a facebook member tho..

Login | Facebook

It don't emamum

[emamum]

pants!!! computer crashed as i noticed it said login... the page is called legends of burnley if you can get into facebok... sorry all

[emamum]

Ok here is the page in all its massiveness...... sorry!

Every town has them. The people you recognise for all the wrong reasons. Burnley has more than its fair share... This is a group dedicated to all them geezers (and geezets) that make going round the scenic town centre of Burnley such a great and exciting spectacle. I don't mean to offend anyone by these descriptions, and I don't know any of these people (surprisingly) so they may be factually incorrect. Anyway here's a selection of the best. Feel free to add your own and I'll add them to the list when I have time.

1). The legendary 'Paul from Manchester': Many of you know him as the 'Big Issue' guy outside of 'Marks and Spencers'; but if you read the exciting newspaper article about him in the local press, circa December 2005, he is called Paul and travels from Manchester everyday. Thats commitment for you. Paul can always be seen with a smile on his face and cleverly adapts the Big Issue chant in the form of a seasonal jingle e.g. Big Issue, Big Issue, Big Issue (to the tune of jingle bells).

2. That ginger guy who listens to his music and occasionally dances to it, always on his own: One day was spotted walking down the market steps shouting "yo, yo, yo" and doing usher (kinda) spins. Maybe he was making a music video?

3.Wheelchair Wooly: My personal favourite: Sat selling big issue outside of Woolworths in his wheelchair...When somebody comes past goes "excuse me im sellin blah blah blah grr" and some other mumbles. The funny thing is he speaks English outside of his job. He also occasional falls asleep for a couple of hours... If you are ever bored, get a clear distance and sit down and watch all the parents rush their kids past him when he is mumbling.

4.FBI guy: He looks mean: tattoed on the neck, about 60, very tall, very suave and is the head of security for the centre. He can ALWAYS be seen to be wearing his trademark red-tinted sunglasses, and often perving on women.

5.Johnny Flash: The towns best ten man marshal. ALWAYS wearing sunglasses (even in the gym and when reading magazines in Smiths) and the same tracksuit everyday and walks the ten man as if he in a rush.. I have it on good sources that he is a paedophile (not so funny actually anymore)

6.Paul from Manchesters' (maybe) wife: She stands outside Burtons wiv a magazine that nobody knows what she is selling and doesnt speak English.

7.Jim from Regents Chinese: ALWAYS keeps your drinks filled up and best friend to all the customers who can't manage a Skoldis from the bridge followed by a Sake. (Or a Jimmy Hendrix). I think I'm banned from there though now possibly. Also a legend is the chinese waitress: she filled up my prawn crackers when my mates thought it was funny to start eating them even though they were the only things I ordered. Try it.

8.Psycho: Tramp girl. Small, skinny and hair tied back. Goes round picking up cigs from the floor - every town gotta have 1... (Occasionally seen with 9 to 5 tramp).

9.Crazy woman: Newly discovered... An old woman who just shouts things out at the top of her voice, while sat down on a bench. Drugs and living in Burnley all ya life for ya....

10.Guitar Man (Anthony): Can OCCASIONALLY be found near Bootleggars playing the guitar; well not playing, just sitting with a guitar. Other times can be seen selling the Big Issue, whilst claiming benefit fraud. He may occasionally ask you for 24p for the bus as well. Big, ginger and a little bit disfigured. Always talkin to the police for trying to con people... Waits for his carer, who never arrives.

11. Homeless guy who works 9 to 5: On the way to the St. Peters centre sits there during the day... but at night nowhere to be found? I saw him take a coffee break the other day.

12.Charity groups who take advantage: The countless charity groups that wait for ppl to come out of Yates and The Swan so that they can sign ppl up when they are drunk. I bin got so have other ppl I know - they evil (with big hearts).

13.Pervy Pole: The perverted 70+ year old Polish guy who will tell you his life story at any opportunity. And will most likely grope the girls. Can be found by Calamities (surprise surprise).

14.K2's man: "Hello my friend"... Will give you donner meat that has been on the floor, for half price. He's apparently called Farooq. Also legendary is his friend that will walk in, who runs the place, that looks like he came straight from a horror film - tall, dressed in a suit and emotionless; and will not talk to anybody.

15.Taxi woman: The (white) woman owner of the taxi ranks, you all know who I mean. Not one to be messed with. Funny to see VERY desperate guys chattin her up after a night out.

16.Bus traffic controller: The cockney guy who runs the bus station and gets his thrills out of kicking young children outta the bus station for loitering.

17.Veteran glass collector: The glass collector in lava/ignite that is like 60+. Very dedicated. Told my friend that he was called Chico, but then has told her that he is called several different names also. So obviously, he's an ex-con and Ignite are the only people that will hire him.

18.Baz - The 'Posh' DJ that provides us with hours of entertainment. Every visit to the club, whether Thurs, Fri, Sat or Sun will be... Kiss, Sugarhill Gang, Don't Cha, Smack That, Naughty Girl, Area Codes... Followed by I got a semi... on Padiham road.

19.The Spoons Posse a.k.a. The Coffin Dodgers: Fancy a trip to Spoons? No matter what time of day it is or what day it is, you will be greeted by the same familiar faces (such as guy with a hook for a hand, and guy with the big beard). Until us youth come through at approx 7pm onwards Thurs, Fri and Sat and then they gracefully bow. You can tell a spoons regular by the fact that they will either be talking to themselves, or talking to you. Usually about Thai brides.

20.Bonnie (as in Clyde): An old woman who no matter what weather - sun included, wears a long pink coat, a cowboy hat, a headscarf up to her sunglasses, and wellies and is always weeling a suitcase around.There's three people it could be: the invisible woman, an undercover agent, or Madonna.

21.Anne from Walkabout: I don't know this one, but apparently she's worth knowing and to be included. Apparently an old woman who is slightly deaf and is always drunk in walkabout; and she carries a shopping bag around. Can often be found talking to randomers for hours on end. And she has a great little laugh. How did I miss her? I'm gon be looking out for her...

22. Bubble G - A man of ethnic minority who blows and sells bubble blowers whilst not talkin and listening to his ipod. Moves his cart back and forth in a 20 yards radius every hour for no apparent reason.

23. Lucky Lucky Man - Walkabout. "No splash no gash" Don't need to say anymore; all you guys know what I'm on about! I heard he sells crack but I doubt that rumour.

24.Hot Dogggggggg - Hot Dog vender outside Ignite, not exactly a legend, but my mate sprinkled XTC on all the hot dogs one night and he carried on selling them. If anyone bought a hot dog on a friday in April and it tasted funky and addictive, now you know why! (Okay that one in bad taste haha)

25.The Ex-Con appreciation society: The BIG sted heads who try to get you to donate to a 'charity'. And if you don't - they'll steal your lunch money.

26.The Flower Seller: She thought when she moved over to Burnley from China (or wherever) that she would be able to sell her flowers to lots of romantic young couples in restaurants, but then as soon as she went into Posh she realised that she's been conned. Nobody wants to buy flowers (or novelty dummies) for a one night stand...

27.Hello Guy - This one is just for the locals of Rosegrove/Lowerhouse/ Kiddrow Lane(my area). An Indian man in his 60's who wanders up and down the area constantly with a furry Russian style hat on; saying hello to everyone he sees. The reason for this is that he was an ex cricket player in India and was extremely famous in India so he has come here and is used to the popularity and expects everyone to know who he is. But Rosegrove is BNP so they don't.

28.The guy whos brother can't catch a break: A smack head that will loiter round the bus station every day and ask you for 18p for the bus cos he gotta pick up his brother up who is coming out of prison that very same day. I feel sorry for his brother; every day he thinks hes coming out of prison, but he can never make it out cos he has nobody to pick him up (presumebly he then goes back into jail for warmth?)

29.This old guy that I encountered a few years back at the Dugdale Arms. He told me and my mate that he was the crane operator on King Kong, that he has a stash of Diamonds in Africa that he won on Roulette, that he was about to be knighted and he was in the honours list, and the scariest one - that he was a known paedophile (we were 15 at the time). Anybody ever bumped into him?

30.The Russian Jogger: This is for members of the old Thompson Centre. This is a guy who would sweat profusely and would wear the shortest shorts ever (not that I was looking) and would run from each weight to the other weight.. Was really funny, but a safety hazard none - the- less. He had a very Russian/ Ukranian look about him. he didnt sign up to the Peters Centre to my knowledge - possibly because the gym is bigger so he would get tired quicker, having more distance to cover running from the machines and all.

31 Chinese Mr T (Paul): That chinese guy who wore an army jacket, big massive wrestling/goth boots and sported a huge mohican used to be a legend, and gave Johnny Flash competition for the biggest ten man in town, but has since found love and shaved his head off and is now seen in the same attire, but with a girl on his arm. Legends can find love too.

32. Jarvis - The least intimidating bouncer in the history of nightclubs. If you dont know him he skinny, 30 ish but looks bout 15 and is Chinese. I have it on good sources that all the other Bouncers hate him. Not that anyone cares what they think...

33.Jimmy Satan: Again someone I don't know, but consistent mentions have forced me to add him. Can be found in the garden bar after was banned from the Carlton for smelling like vomit. He was in Vietnam, is a professional plum picker (can never have enough of them), can eat Tarantulas and is Irish/Cornish/Icelandic.

34.Halfaface (Kevin): Was originally referenced in the Weatherspoon coffin dodger posse, but proved so popular that he needs a spin-off mention. This group is not made to make fun of physical appearances (believe it or not) so I will just mention that he is either in spoons or the bookies. Im sure u can gather who I'm on bout by the name...

35.Grandma Cage: In the old bootleggars used to be an old grandomther that would dance in the cage. Im too young to remember.. But shame on new bootleggars to not have the cage - bet she is gutted (there's a pole though so keep your eyes peeled).

36.St. Peter: Another spoons posse tear-away. This bearded fellow, will always be seen in the window of weathers' and is reminscent of Gandalf and Santa Claus. When I was younger, i thought he was a ghost. Apparently very well off.

37.Jimmy Saville: What can I say, Jim WILL fix it. Our very own 60's throwback. Cheesy grin equipped with some of the finest polyester shirts Walkabout has seen - perfect combination, ladies watch out.

38. Hunter Hearst Helmsley: Some guy who wears very tight clothes and is possibly the most metrosexual man in Burnley (apart from Mark Ratcliffe).

39. Les from Electron: The man who is just never loses style. Over the years his music taste has chameleoned to the most popular genre of the time. Gone from the swinging sixties and the Beatles to the modern day fluidz 'music' we all love to hear.. Dress code for the shop is trackies preferably. Drugs are welcomed. The shop is also home to the world's most expensive vhs. £10 a video - vintage.

40.Jimmy Archer: Padiham; Burnley's less loved younger brother obviously needs to be represented on the list. Jimmy Archer is known to relentlessly walk for miles and miles everyday of the year, even to the likes of Barnoldwick, Colne and Blackburn. You will often see Jimmy carrying bags in either hand as he walks with the occasional frozen chicken in hand. Shout 'Jimmy!' And he will give you back his customary thumbs up. He can often be seen strolling through fields along the side of the M65 and once was given a job simply to trample up and down skips all day so you could fit more in.He is known by many as the 'Walking Man'. The Forrest Gump of the region.

41. The bus station newsagents: It's not a library. You must not read the magazines: u must buy them based on their front cover alone. They will also not give you change for the bus. It would be too much to expect that people in the bus station need change for the bus of course.

42. Revas: Forgot bout this one. Sure you all know him. The reason why nobody orders McChicken Premiere's (due to the 'mayonnaise'). I heard he has a wife and kids though? Can someone please verify this? The most tolerant member of staff in McDonalds history - manager material!