Memories of Bob Hope 1903--2003

[claytonx]

ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women but only down hill'
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old.In fact,I don't feel anything till noon.Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring.The referee kept standing on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or,as it's called at my home,'Passover.'
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession.Show business is just to pay the green fees.'
ON RECIEVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble,but I think I have the strenght of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in one bed.When it got cold,mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dancs.Waitng for the bathroom.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benifits for ALL religions.I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'