Oh Lord, Why Dos't Thou Tempt Me So?

[Less]

Here I am Nearly a life long atheist and yet God still interferes.

I had called in at my favourite supermarket, when I say favourite, it's on the way home, if it wasn't there I'd probably starve 'cos I hate shopping.

Anyhow I digest, got enough bland stuff so that I could survive a few more days, headed for a cash register, got interrupted on the way by a member of staff offering to put my goods through the self service machines for me.
Well, I couldn't see the point the counter before me had almost a clear convey-er belt so I stayed where I was.
THEN it all started to happen, the lady I was behind gave out a shriek!
Very loud, I've never known the place so quiet.
She then Continued, "how dare you put bacon through with my shopping, I'm Jewish".
Now my life hasn't been spent totally living with Jews but quite a few that I knew could without much encouragement enjoy a bacon buttie with brown sauce.
Meanwhile this lass wouldn't take any placating from the staff, various theories were put forth including perhaps someone put it in your trolley by mistake.
No, she was upset and wasn't going to let it pass, I settled in for a long wait.

It's at this point that I found God was poking his nose in, right on top of my shopping, just behind the green barrier seperating customers, was a packet of pork scratchings.
I knew it was wrong but almost without hesitation my index finger was outstretched and moved the packet to her side.
I evilly looked forward to the pandemonium that would ensue once they tried to beep them through.
However That God I don't believe in was way ahead of me, he allowed the poor lass a few breaths to calm down, she then meekly took the rest of her shopping without a word, including my treat for tonight, she then walked away.
Well, obviously mentioning God and temptation there must be a moral to this, for me it's don't give in to temptation or God will take your pork scratchings away.

[DaveinGermany]

Think she may've been more outraged about the price than the actual Bacon, just a thought. Oy vay, oy vay!

Yeah, yeah, I know unPC & stereotypical, but mildly amusing.

[susie123]

It could only happen to you Less, you are a devil!

[cashman]

I blame adolf personally.

[flashy]

Certainly brightened my day up reading that

[Restless]

But yet they would happily let a Rabbi put their babies reproductive organ into his mouth to perform the finishing touches to a circumcision and yet react like this to a packet of bacon.

My friends son on his 22nd Christmas received the diagnosis of "Raynaud's phenomenon" The existence of God is severely doubtful.

[Less]

Originally Posted by Restless

But yet they would happily let a Rabbi put their babies reproductive organ into his mouth to perform the finishing touches to a circumcision and yet react like this to a packet of bacon.

My friends son on his 22nd Christmas received the diagnosis of "Raynaud's phenomenon" The existence of God is severely doubtful.

Wow, that was...
involving exaggeration from me to make a small incident seem almost interesting, don't take God & his various idiosyncrasies so seriously until he stops ignoring you.

[maxthecollie]

Originally Posted by Less

Here I am Nearly a life long atheist and yet God still interferes.

I had called in at my favourite supermarket, when I say favourite, it's on the way home, if it wasn't there I'd probably starve 'cos I hate shopping.

Anyhow I digest, got enough bland stuff so that I could survive a few more days, headed for a cash register, got interrupted on the way by a member of staff offering to put my goods through the self service machines for me.
Well, I couldn't see the point the counter before me had almost a clear convey-er belt so I stayed where I was.
THEN it all started to happen, the lady I was behind gave out a shriek!
Very loud, I've never known the place so quiet.
She then Continued, "how dare you put bacon through with my shopping, I'm Jewish".
Now my life hasn't been spent totally living with Jews but quite a few that I knew could without much encouragement enjoy a bacon buttie with brown sauce.
Meanwhile this lass wouldn't take any placating from the staff, various theories were put forth including perhaps someone put it in your trolley by mistake.
No, she was upset and wasn't going to let it pass, I settled in for a long wait.

It's at this point that I found God was poking his nose in, right on top of my shopping, just behind the green barrier seperating customers, was a packet of pork scratchings.
I knew it was wrong but almost without hesitation my index finger was outstretched and moved the packet to her side.
I evilly looked forward to the pandemonium that would ensue once they tried to beep them through.
However That God I don't believe in was way ahead of me, he allowed the poor lass a few breaths to calm down, she then meekly took the rest of her shopping without a word, including my treat for tonight, she then walked away.
Well, obviously mentioning God and temptation there must be a moral to this, for me it's don't give in to temptation or God will take your pork scratchings away.

It wasn't Jewish Bacon

[Restless]

Originally Posted by Less

Wow, that was...
involving exaggeration from me to make a small incident seem almost interesting, don't take God & his various idiosyncrasies so seriously until he stops ignoring you.

idiosyncrasies is a great word to describe God; And don't you know God is a woman, haven't you seen dogma?

[Less]

Originally Posted by Restless

idiosyncrasies is a great word to describe God; And don't you know God is a woman, haven't you seen dogma?

Excuse me? I'm an orthodox atheist, how dare you come forward with your modernist feminist non-beliefs?
The God I don't believe in hasn't and always won't be a masculine falsehood.

[MargaretR]

I just get the feeling that this is another of Less' shaving mirror/book reader threads.

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...der-62532.html

[Less]

Originally Posted by MargaretR

I just get the feeling that this is another of Less' shaving mirror/book reader threads.

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...der-62532.html

Indeed you could perhaps be right, God could have spoken unto me and in deep rasping commands demanded that I go onto AccyWeb and multiply the number of conspiracy theories that MagsR can see in just one paragraph.

Sometimes though it isn't God the voice I Hear is just my own warped sense of humour not to be confused with you're own suspicions that there is something deeper in all of this.

[Restless]

Originally Posted by Less

Excuse me? I'm an orthodox atheist, how dare you come forward with your modernist feminist non-beliefs?
The God I don't believe in hasn't and always won't be a masculine falsehood.

And after listening to her music(alanis morissette) I also have difficulty believing

[DtheP47]

[QUOTE=Less;1031204
involving exaggeration from me to make a small incident seem almost interesting,
[/QUOTE]

..gotta wonder why?

[Less]

Originally Posted by DtheP47

..gotta wonder why?

Basically to confuse morons enough to get them to start asking simple questions such as...



WHY?