thing overheard at a STD clinic

[chav1]

Things overheard at the STD clinic.

The quotes below are complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago. It now includes several hundred comments.

• "I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks."

• "My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch."
  
• "I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt."
  
• "My last period looked like meat."
  
• "My balls feel soft and mushy."
  
• "I be messin' with these nasty women from Minnesota and they don't tell you they got something unless they mad at you."
  
• "How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?"
  
• "I got the dripper."
  
• "I have food chunks in my urine."
  
• "Had sex with my daughter's fiancé and then douched with Lysol--feelin' a little raw down there."
  
• "Scabs on my butt and I'm losing my mind."
  
• "I'm releasing semen when I take a crap."
  
• "I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man."
  
• "I live at the VA and my roommate has his girlfriend from Minneapolis over. They throw ticks at me that bite my neck and when I pop the sores, they smell like vagina juice."
  
• "Can't you put the swab in further?"
  
• "I had sex with my baby's momma, sex with my other baby's momma and my other new baby's momma has disease."
  
• "Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it's cooked."
  
• "My cervix hurts when I jiggle."
  
• "The seam in my circumcision split open."
  
• "I be messin' with my ex-wife and my girlfriend and I don't trust either of them."
  
• "My whole body smells like a menstruating woman, especially my armpits."
  
• "From the looks of my penis, I believe they are sucking the adrenaline out of me."
  
• "I think they hypnotized me and put implants and poltergeists in my brain and had sex with me."
  
• "I think my boyfriend knows what's going on. He's been calling me a 'chlamydiahoris.'"
  
• "My pee smells like ham."

[Sparkologist]

Absolutely ...kin' shockin'.
This is a family site, I'll have you know. Plod has threatened me with solitary confinement for far less inuendo than that. Prepare to have your karma plundered & pillaged by the Mary Whitehouse Apreciation Society and the Bah-Humbug Brigade.

Where can you have got that little gem from?

[chav1]

some coward sent it via pm and was too afraid to post it himself sent it to me knowing that i would be didgusted enough to post it and shame the dirty sod but i cant recall the name.

all i can say is that from the list he has an extensive knowledge of the workings of a STD clinic maybe i should wash my hands after finishing with this thread or at least wear a condom while reading it

[lettie]

I have a dental dam over my eyes while I'm reading this.....

Hmmmm, I wonder if the person that pm'd this to you is the same person that pm'd it to me too..

[grannyclaret]

it seems to me that someone does rather a lot of evesdropping,,,,,