Things you would never know

[lettie]

>>THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
>>*            During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
>>visit a strip club at least once.
>>*            When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English
>>to
>>each other.
>>*            If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
>>passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
>>*            All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
>>the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying
>>beside her. *            The Chief of Police will almost always suspend
>>his
>>star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
>>*            All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
>>*            It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
>>someone to talk you down.
>>*            The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
>>place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can
>>travel to any other part of the building undetected.
>>*            Police departments give their officers personality tests to
>>make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar
>>opposite.
>>*            The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
>>*            All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
>>large
>>red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
>>*            If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
>>ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
>>*            You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
>>you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
>>home.
>>*            Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
>>will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
>>*            If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
>>killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
>>forthcoming art exhibition.
>>*            A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
>>beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
>>*            When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
>>out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be
>>the exact fare.
>>*            Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen
>>at
>>night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
>>*            If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
>>strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
>>*            Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
>>family every morning even though their husband and children never have
>>time
>>to eat it.
>>*            Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
>>*            All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
>>*            A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size
>>of RFK stadium.
>>*            Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
>>*            Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
>>pant.
>>*            It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or
>>ending phone conversations.
>>*            Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
>>necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few
>>moments.
>>*            It is always possible to park directly outside the building
>>you are visiting.
>>*            A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
>>from duty. *          
  It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
>>in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
>>one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
>>knocked
>>out their predecessors.
>>*            When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
>>they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
>>*            No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
>>volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
>>*            Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
>>diving.
>>*            You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
>>*            Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
>>seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped
>>inside.

>> ;D

[happyone]

i hope that was a cut and paist lettie  or your  fingers must be   killing you ;D

[lettie]

 Yes it was, I am not that good a typist. Still practising with the cut and paste thingies. Learning a bit more about my computer now, only bought it to do my degree work on, as I used to go to Uni and use theirs. Don't seem to get much work done on it though :
Mmmmm, wonder why???

[happyone]

;D i do u  always here

[lettie]

  Think you might be right. I do manage to get work done sometimes though.  

Well, occasionally

[ANNE]

Mmmm know that feeling supposed to be doing an advanced care course but not getting very far at the moment. I wonder why.

[lettie]

 It's soooooo much easier to have a laugh on here, than get your work done. Mine's normally a last minute panic to get the assignments in :

[ANNE]

Oh, yes. Thats me. When I start my level four my lad sez he's going to bring a jar and i've to put a quid in every time i moan about it. I was murder doin level three. Much rather be on her or shopping. :