The Latest Events At Old Trafford...

[Bazf]

I think the way Man United supporters acted last night was disgraceful beyond extreme. ...Loved the footage of the ManYoo fans getting a beating by the police. At the end of the day, I feel, football was the winner. Any how heres my take on it...


Angry scenes have again errupted outside Old Trafford as protesters demonstrated against the sale of their (yeah, right) club to American tycoon Malcolm Glazer. Spokesman for the pressure group 'United Since 93' Del Boy Harris stated: "We would have got here sooner but there were twaffic jams near the Dartford tunnel last night plus some of the lads wanted to watch Big Brovver before they left. Then we had to stop at Newport Pagnell services but they'd run out of prawn sandwiches so we had to stop again at Watford Gap."

Supporters' groups lined the streets of Old Trafford blocking the road until they realised the megastore was open and they all rushed in to buy Ronaldo duvet covers and lampshade sets. "It's the first time up here for most of the lads so you can hardly blame them for doing a bit of shopping can you? Some of them only get to see the game in the pub and thought the crowd were chanting "United United 50% sale."

Another spokesman who had actually been to a game once "we lost to Middlesborough so I haven't bothered since" stated: "I think it's disgusting what's going on here. I mean it's a bit of yer English heritage innit. You can't go selling it to some septic can ya?"

Asked why United were suddenly so patriotic when they have spent the last five seaons chanting "Argentina Argentina" he replied: "As I said, I've only been the once."

As the day drew on crowds drifted away, some of them claiming that the weather in Manchester isn't as nice as it is down south and they'd have stayed longer had they brought an extra jumper. With emotional scenes like this surely it's only a matter of time before the Glazers buckle under this immense pressure. In a final show of defiance four people burnt their United memberships, which allow them to enter a lottery to actually go to a game once a season...which if they win, they normally flog on ebay.