2013 Prediction League; Game 7 v Hartlepool Utd (away)

Div3North · 12-09-2013, 19:48

Hartlepool United

V

Accrington Stanley

2013/14 Prediction League – Game 7; v Hartlepool (away)

I imagine it’s a bit of a beggar when some of your supporters are better known than your players, but that’s the reality with Hartlepool Utd

- known as the “Pools” or the “Monkey Hangars”

, a nickname which may or may not have anything to do with their Mascot “H’Angus the Monkey” (Stuart Drummond) who – as the Monkey - was elected mayor of Hartlepool in 2002 on a political platform, as I understand, of “Free Bananas for Schoolchildren”

, which probably tells you nothing about his political affiliations but everything you need to know about Hartlepool ………

)

So, go on then ………..Who can name five members of Hartlepool’s squad?

Thought not

…….. But who can't name at least one Celebrity Fan? Try …….. the ubiquitous Sky anchor-man Jeff Stelling

(can I say that? Ubiquitous?

)………..or that nice (!) Peter Mandelson ……….or Ridley Scott (the Film Director) ……….or that guy from Iron Maiden

(Janick Gers) ………..or Meatloaf (“Dad …this is my new boyfriend” “Hello, Son ….What’s your name?” “Meatloaf” “Shut the **** door as you leave ……”

)

They were formed, were the Monkeys, in 1908 as "Hartlepools United Football Athletic Co" (note the “s” on “Hartlepools”); in 1921 they joined the newly-created Third Division (North), finishing 4th on 42 points from 38 games (W17 D8 L13) – one place above the Stanley

(W19 D3 L16 for 41 points). After that they footled round the two lower tiers of the League; in 1968, consequent on the formation of a new Borough, they dropped the “s” and the “United” – becoming “Hartlepool”, which is a touch in-yer-face

; in 1977 they added “United” back into their name

; in 1990 they were promoted to the (then) 3rd Division; in 1992 they managed to go 1,227 minutes (13 games plus 57 minutes of the 14th) without scoring a goal

(we’re getting to know the feeling!

); and then, in 2004/5, they had their best-ever season

, finishing 6th, beating Tranmere in the Playoff Semis 6-5 on penalties after each team had recorded a 2-0 win, and only losing out in the Playoff Final (4-2 to Sheffield Wednesday); in 2005-6 they were relegated

; in 2006-7 they went back up, coming down again last season after an Annus Horribilis

They’ve also had 26 managers in the last 30 years

(some of whom have been back more than once); their best known Gaffer, probably, was of course Cloughie , who was there from the end of October 1965 until he (and Peter Taylor) went to Derby at the beginning of June 1967; other names us Oldsters will recognise – they specialised in appointing ex-players of one club or another – include Geoff Twentyman, Len Ashurst, Bobby Moncur, “Nice One” Cyril Knowles

, who so sadly died at the age of 47 in 1991, Viv Busby (he of the Jimmy Hill chin

), Keith Houchen (who had been their leading scorer no less than four times), Mick Tait, Mike Newell (who got into all sorts of trouble for his 2006 comments on female (assistant) referees

“'It’s absolutely beyond belief. When do we reach a stage when all officials are women, then we are in trouble. It is bad enough with the incapable referees and linesmen we have, but if you start bringing in women, you have big problems. It’s tokenism, for the politically correct idiots.”

and Danny Wilson …… Ex Spurs striker John Duncan was interim Manager for a whole 9 weeks from 1st April 1983, but chose to manage Chesterfield rather than taking the job full time

(now where have I heard that before ……..)……..the most recent “panic mode” – perhaps something to do with going 20 League games without a win

- saw Neale Cooper leave in mid October 2012, his replacement (John Hughes) given from October to May before being shown the door (from the outside

), and Colin Cooper taking over ………

When you plummet down the leagues you tend to have no money, and more players depart than arrive; thus it was with Hartlepool in the summer; out went 32 year-old striker Colin Nish to Dumbarton (wherever that actually is!

); GK Adam McHugh (21) joined Forest Green; CB Peter Hartley (25) went to work for Mr Westley at Stevenage for a “five-figure fee”; “experienced” (= old

) DMF Ritchie Humphries joined the Snake; LB Evan Horwood (27) went to Tranmere; and defender Nathan Buddle (19) moved to Blyth Spartans ……..In came Nialle Rodney (22), a CF with Notts Forest, Bradford City, Lincoln and Telford behind him; Michael Duckworth (21), a RB, arrived from Bradford Park Avenue

(now there’s a name to conjure with, back in the Good Old Days); Matthew Dolan (20), a DMF, and Christian Burgess (22) a CB, both came in on loan from Middlesbrough; and Welsh born left winger Jack Crompton (24), who started at (but didn’t play for) both The Baggies and Brighton, then went to Weston-super-Mare, where he doubled as a gardener part time, before joining, in turn, Falkirk, Pompey and Colchester, completed the acquisitions ……..As Colin Cooper said in an interview pre-season;

“I’m being picky; I want players that make us better. Every Manager wants their squad in place for the start of the season, but we have the best part of two weeks to get people in”

If that sounds a bit like desperation, that’s probably because that’s what it was …………

In the years between promotion in 06/07 and relegation in 12/13 they were reasonably consistent in League 1; 15th on 54 points; 19th on 50 (49 got you relegated); 20th on 50, avoiding relegation because they had a slightly better goal difference than Gillingham; 16th (57); 13th (56) and 23rd (41); that’s consistent ……. Poor, but consistent

…………….We have met them since we came back into the League; 2006/7 – the year they went up ; we lost 1-0 away, and 2-1 at home (Andy Todd with the goal). ‘Nuff said ………….

They’re out of the Capricorn Cup, 3-1 at Notts Forest; they’re through to the next round of the Paintpot Trophy, having massacred Bradford (City, not Park Avenue) 5-0 at home

; the League – well, that’s been something else ……… they did score – eventually – in the 90th minute of their 6th match

; they’ve lost 3-0 at Rochdale, 1-0 at home to Southend and to Fleetwood, and 2-1 at home to Wycombe; they’ve drawn 0-0 away at York and Torquay; P6 W0 D2 L4 F1 A7 Pts 2 for 23rd place; our record is P6 W0 D1 L5 F3 A12 for 1 point and – like in 1922 – one place behind them ………. Mind you, it’s all how you report it …….There was once apparently a 100 metre race between the Russian and American Ambassadors, which the American won; the next day the New York Times reported the race, and that the American had won, with the Russian second …….”Pravda” (“Truth”) reported that the Russian had come second, and that the American had come last-but-one

…… and anyway, we haven’t conceded the most goals in League 2; that honour goes to Cheltenham, who’ve shipped 13

. Hartlepool have seven leading scorers, all of whom have scored one ……….. we’ve got Murph on two (only two behind the League's leading scorers), and loads more to come from our enhanced front line …………As Wynonie keeps saying, “The fight back starts here”

The deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 14th September 2013. Goals galore? Oh yes …………… I think so!

3 points and a reduction of the goal-difference ……Well they have lost 3 out of 3 at home ..........

And we have got Kayode Odajayi

Good luck to everyone ………………. Remember; passion overcomes logic ………..Keep the faith ……………………. And thanks for playing!