2018/19 Prediction League; Game 21 v Sunderland AFC (home)

Div3North · 07-12-2018, 01:08

Accrington Stanley

V

Sunderland AFC

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 21 v Sunderland (home)

Any lovers of the history of comedy should have heard of Bobby Thompson (always billed as “The Little Waster”); if you’ve got five minutes spare over Christmas, look him up. I mention him only because he was born and brought up in Sunderland, but his act – he was as thin as a whippet, always had a fag in his mouth, often wore a flat cap and a jumper which had seen better days, and in the days before “Auf Wiedersehen, Pet” he was virtually incomprehensible to anyone who wasn’t from Tyne and Wear - was very funny;

• “Mind you, ah thought all me worries woz over on Munday; this chap knocked on, and he said
“Is it Mr Thompson”.
I said “It is”.
He said “I’m frae Littlewoods”.
I said, “Oh thank God, have I wun the Treble Chance?”
He said, “No – yer missus ‘as bin arrested fer shopliftin’” ....... or

• “Ah were walkin’ down th’road t’other day and I seen this woman wi’ one of her bosoms hangin’ out. So I went over to her and I said, “Excuse me pet, one of yer bosoms is hangin’ out” and she said, "Ah booger, I’ve left the bairn on the buss”

In the summer of 2018, following their GreasyPole Moment (the mind boggles!), Sunderland had a bit of a clear-out ..................Well, actually, they had a lot of a clear-out (must have been a very long and extremely greasy Pole!); 23 players from England, the Rep of Ireland, Australia, New Zealand (Hiya Kiwi!), Italy, The Netherlands, DR Congo, Sweden, Tunisia, Gabon and Senagal departed the Stadium of Light for the Arena of Dark; striker Fabio Borini went to AC Milan for £5.5 million; Dutch RW Jeremain Lens went to Besiktas for £6 million; DMF Paddy McNair went to Middlesbrough for £5 million; GK Jason Steele departed for Brighton for £1.5 million; striker Joel Asoro joined Swansea for £2.5 million; and AMF Wahbi Khazri was sold to St Etienne for £9 million (it was either him or they bought a few hundred more acres of vines) ............. £29,500, 000 – and that’s for players they didn’t want, or who didn’t want them. Doesn’t it make you want to spit? I’ve also discovered a new category of departures, apart from sold, released, undisclosed etc, I’ve now found two players recorded as departed by “sacked”; given the state of our libel laws I’m not going to name them! However, those who are interested might wish to google “El Hadji Papy Mison Djilobodji” and “Didier Ibrahim Ndong” to see if that assists their researches; neither of those gentlemen, it may be thought, fancied Life In League One. Didier Ndong had joined in August 2016 for £17.1 million – their highest-ever transfer fee wasted – sorry, paid

And as if a gash £29.5 million isn’t enough, Sunderland’s average League crowd for 2018/19 is a paltry 15 ................. plus the other 30,000 ............ if we total our attendances up for the season we’ll have done phenomenally well to even match one of their weeks. Isn’t it nice to know that at Christmas there are those who have, as well as those who have not? Humbug!

Hands up if you knew that the SootyMoggies were formed in October 1879 (therefore 139 years old) by a schoolmaster called James Allen, and that they were known in those days as Sunderland and District Teachers AFC? I’m not sure why he called them after a brand of whisky, but I’m still looking into it – the story, that is, not the whisky. They joined the Football League in 1890, replacing Stoke, and won the League in 1891/92 (five points ahead of PNE) and again in 1892/93, becoming the first team to score over 100 goals in a season. After a 7-2 win against Aston Villa late in the 19th Century the creator of the FL, one William McGregor, allegedly called them “The Team of all Talents” (bet he was spinning in his grave last year when they got relegated in 24th place!) ..... and anyway, goals were easier to count after nets – invented by John Alexander Broudie - were used in all games from 1891; the issue seemingly arose after Everton had a goal disallowed “in an important game” against ........... Accrington!....... In fact they’ve won the First Division six times in all, although the last time was 1936 and the time before that was 1913 – and this week’s starter for ten is, “How many years is it since Sunderland left Roker Park?” (it’s now a housing estate)

To replace the Vanishing 23 they brought in the Largely Invisible 13; best known would be striker Charlie Wyke (once of Middlesbrough, Carlisle and Bratud) (who’s only featured four times in all, and has but one goal) for whom they paid £1 million; of course, we’ve bought crap strikers ourselves, but don’t usually pay a million for them ............. MF Luke O’Nien arrived form Wycombe; CB Jack Baldwin set them back £200k from the Posh; fellow CB Glenn Loovens came in on a free from the Owls, and CBs Tom Flanagan and Alim Ozturk appeared over the horizon from Burton and Boluspor respectively .............Jordan Hunter (who isn’t a CB – he’s a DMF) arrived from Liverpool, Scottish winger Chris Maguire left Bury for the Sights, Sounds and Saunas of Wonderland (flying pigs he finds any!), and LB Reece James left Wigan for Tyneside on the up train ............. or was it the down train? A couple of loans in (striker Jerome Sinclair from Watford for the season, and CM Max Power, also from Wigan, until Hogmanay ........ So far they’ve used 22 players, and no-one has played every game .............. leading scorer is 20-year old Joshua Erowoli Orisunmibare Oluwaseun Maja (born in Lewisham to Nigerian parents) with 11, followed by three MFs – American Lynden Gooch, Irishman Aiden McGeady (whose previous clubs include Celtic, Spartak Moscow and Everton) and Scots-born Chris Maguire, once of Aberdeen, Derby, the Owls, the Millers, Oxford and Bury – each of whom has five

They’re stuttering a bit in the FA Cup (2-1 at Portly Vale and a half-Desmond at Walsall (the replay’s on the 11th); they went out of the EFL Cup in Round 1 (2-0 at home to Sheff Wed), and they’re in the hat for Round 3 of the Troffy, where no doubt they’ll draw us at Theirs .......... the League started well enough – 7th, then 4th, 2nd, 4th, 3rd, 4th, 3rd and 2nd .... they’re fairly scary at home (W5 D4 L0 GF21 GA9), and a little less so away (W6 D3 L1 GF18 GA9) for a combined P19 W11 D7 L1 GF39 GA18, 40 points, and second place in the table ............... Numpty League placings remain – a bit like Brexit – unchanged and unmoving; we’re currently the Numptiest of the Numpty (the title’s rubbish but the perks are ok) ............... And who, I hear you asking, did they lose their unbeaten record to? Or – pedantically – avoiding ending a sentence with a preposition, which you shouldn’t do unless there’s nothing else to end it with! - to whom, I hear you ask, did they lose their unbeaten record? Burton, that’s who (fancy losing to a team of Gentlemen’s Tailors! They’ll be showing their bum in their window next!) ............ Grammarians might like the FB post I saw recently, which read “I am the Ghost of Christmas Imperfect Conditional”, said the Spirit; “I bring news of what would have been going to happen if you were not to have been going to change your ways”

As well as six League titles (but none for 80 years+), Blunderland have won the FA Cup twice (1937, beating Preston 3-1, and 1973, beating Leeds (Sunderland then being a second-division side) 1-0, with a goal from ............ Anybody? Ian Porterfield ............) And Dennis Tueart was in the side, and the GK was Jim Montgomery, and the Leeds side read Harvey, Reaney, Cherry, Bremner, Madeley, Hunter, Lorimer, Clarke, Jones, Giles and Gray, with Terry Yorath as 12th Man ...........they also won the Sheriff of London Charity Shield in 1903 .............originally they played in all blue, and – despite what you might think – this isn’t their first-ever season in the third tier of the EFL, because in 1986/87 – when they brought in promotion /relegation play-off involving the third from bottom team in the Second Division (which Sinderland were) and 3rd, 4th and 5th placed teams in the Third Division, and they SlipperySloped (you don’t GreasyPole until League Two) - courtesy of Gillingham - into the Third Tier, where they only stayed just the one season ...............

They’ve kept 5 clean sheets this time round (so far), and they’ve put four past Gillingham (away, 4-1), Rochdale (home, also 4-1) and Barnsley (also home, 4-2) ............... Famous managers include Bob Stokoe (obviously!), ex Burnley right half Jimmy Adamson, Pop Robson, Terry Butcher, Peter Reid, Gus Poyet, Allardyce, Moyes and – for slightly under six months in 2013 – Paolo Di Canio .............. Record-holder for most League games is Jim Montgomery; all-time leading scorer in the League was Charlie Buchan (he poshed his name up to Charles when he began publishing magazines) with 209; their biggest win was 9-1 over Newcaste in 1908, and their worst defeat was 8-0, which they’ve very carelessly allowed to happen four times!

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 8th December; virgin (if you’ll pardon the expression) territory, since we’ve never played each other ........... so they’ve had Raich Carter, Len Shackleton and Kevin Phillips? We’ve had Lee McEvilly and Bobby Grant (now on loan at Wrexham)! Ok, they’ve lost once in 19 (and they’re one of only six sides in League One to have won half their games or more – those being the top six sides), whereas we’ve failed to win 65% of our games .... but we’ve got the Fear Factor – the showers and the toilets! Mwahahahahah! And we’re the Stanley! And they left Roker Park in 1997!

Good luck to everyone! ............. Keep the Faith! ................. Don’t be a Lidl, be a Waitrose! ........... And thanks for playing!