2018/19 Prediction League; Game 38 v Rochdale AFC (home)

Div3North · 15-03-2019, 00:15

Accrington Stanley

V

RochdaleDoodles AFC
(Amateur Football Club)

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 38 v Rochdale (home)

Rochdale seems to be named from its position on the River Roch but is recorded as Recedham in the Domesday Book. The name was thought to be derived from Old English reced meaning "hall", and ham, a "homestead"; I make that "Homestead Hall", not "Rochdale". However, since that element doesn’t appear in any other Anglo Saxon place names, many people are more sympathetic to the view that it derives from the late Celtic kingdom of Rheged. Over time, the name changed to Rachedale and eventually Rochdale. The river's name is a back-formation from the Old English name, its name “Roache”, with a long o; Rochdale however, is pronounced “Rotch-dale” with a short o.

It is, as you all well know, now in Greater Manchester, having been stolen from Lancashire some years back; it’s described as lying “at the foothills of the South Pennines on the River Roch”, which sounds like somewhere idyllic that might appeal to customers of Secret Escapes……... Rochdale received its Royal Charter back in 1251, which allowed its citizens to let their fish have a swim in the River, and herd their concubines across the local bridge, or something of that sort; really it’s an Industrial Revolution town, the revolution being that it doesn’t have any industry left these days …………… a bit like “alternative comedians” really, whose “alternative” is that they’re about as funny as gout. Apart from being Pioneers of the Co-operative Movement – set up to stop local tradesmen from doing unspeakable things with the food they sold at inflated prices – I’m not sure what other claims to fame Rachedale still has ……….. the Rochdale Canal? Textile manufacture? Once having been “remarkable for many wealthy merchants”? Oh, and Norman “Over the Garden Wall” Evans, and a Lady who apparently had Enormous Aspidistras …….

The good news from our point of view – and the bad news from theirs – is that they’ve got the worst defensive record in the whole of Christendom, with more leaks that the Jumblies’ Sieve (in which they Went to Sea, they did) …. In 37 league games they’ve conceded 75 goals, which includes letting in 3 goals on five occasions, four goals on SEVEN occasions (five of those seven at home, including 4-0 routs to Barnsley, Burton and Bradford (watch out, DaleDoodles, here come Baccrington Stanley!), 4-3 to the Wombles, 4-1 to Posh, and 4-1 on the road to Slumberland, and 4-2 at Oxfud, and five goals TWICE (5-1 at Plymouth and 5-0 at Donnie) ………. You won’t be surprised to hear that’s the worst record in League One by a country mile; next worst are Bratfud and the Iron, with 62 each …………….. At the other end of the pitch they’ve scored 44 (15th best of 24) …………….. But ten times in the League they’ve failed to trouble the scorers

Unbeaten in their last two (Golly Gosh!) - 2-1 v Shrewsbury and 0-0 v Oxfud, of their last 13 games they’ve won 2, drawn 2 and lost 9 ………….. away, their record is W5 D4 L9 GF25 GA41, at home it’s a very similar W5 D4 L10 GF19 GA34, and overall they lie 22nd with 38 points based on a record of P37 W10 D8 L19 GF44 GA75 …… two points above Bratfud (who keep flattering to deceive, then fall face-down in a Peppa Pig Muddy Puddle again), and the Wombles, who are staging a late surge, having taken 10 points out of the last 15 – second in form only to the Louts, the BlackMoggies and Sir Bobby’s XI, each of whom have a W3 D2 record, and 11 points from 15……. And Brizzle have won their last 3 straight ………… and You Fat Bastard apparently gave away a shed-load of fouls against us, two handballs, and was credited with the second penalty as well ………………. If you believe the BBC stats!

Like many sides up against it – and apart from week one they’ve not been in the top half of the table all season – they’ve thrown some players back on the discard pack and drawn some new ones .................. ProperSigned are Blackpool RB Ryan McLaughlin and AMF Jimmy Keohane from Cork City (and since the Fans Came Home at Blackpool they’ve managed just two draws!) ............... Six left, and the extraordinarily plucky Joe Thompson retired (Respect, Mr Thompson, for all you’ve been through in the past few years and how you've faced it) .......... the leavers included RB Andy Cannon, who shot off to Pompey (gerrit? Cannon? .............. shot off? .......... oh suit yourselves!), GK Brendan Moore, who signed across the Pond for Atlanta United (what a pathetic name ....... Atlanta Braves, Atlanta Falcons, and Atlanta United – where’s your spirit of adventure?) ............... Harrison McGahey (no, he’s English) went for the iron – sorry, went TO the Iron ............. David Perkins – 600+ appearances for Morecambe, Rochdale, Colchester, Barnsley, Blackpool, Wigan and Rochdale again, signed for Tranmere (think he only needs us and Burnley for a full set), and Irishman Joe Rafferty (I could see that name in lights – well, candles – outside a Guinness Bar) stepped into the unknown that is PNE ..............

Seven loans in, including GK Andy Lonergan, Rochdale being the 23rd team to have signed him as Emergency Cover this season; Ethan Ebanks-Landell, on loan from Wolves but currently out injured; striker Rekeil Leshaun Pyke, a product of Huddersfield’s Academy; Northampton LB Joe Bunney (wouldn’t it be a hoot if the RB was called Rabbitt? “And across the back for Rochdale we have Bunney amd Rabbitt”) ........... three went out on loan, one of them – Morgan Piper - to Wythenshawe Town, who play in the North West Counties League Division One South, and who play at the “Ericstan Stadium”, named after two founding members of the club .......... their Wikipedia page says, “The ground features both covered seating and standing areas.”, to which I was really sorely tempted to add “some white lines, two goals, four corner flags and a ball” ....................but I didn’t!

They did us 1-0 on 24th November (when we all still had the fresh-faced innocence of Belief and Gullibility, Back Before The Bad Run), with a goal on 69 minutes by leading scorer Ian “Mr Piano” Henderson (or was that Joe?), who has 16 in all, fifteen in the League ......... the next best has four (Brad Inman) ...................

They’ve been in League One for five years, and – given the season they’ve had – it wasn’t a massive footballing surprise ten days ago when Keith Hill got the boot; well, actually, both boots ............... and a P45 ................ at least the lists of club managers won’t say “last manager – John Coleman” any longer

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 16th March ................... This game is, as the French say, “un six-pointer” (the Germans call that sort of game “ein six-pointer”) ............. a win wouldn’t actually save our Bacon (I still think Shakespeare wrote them - or possibly Mrs Shakespeare - but what do I know – I’m just “the best of the rest” – flippin’ cheek!) but it would keep the pig at the abattoir gates for another week or two

And that’s the sad end of Paul Scholes and Oldham Athletic ...... ...........And may I recommend you read Simon Stone’s article about it on the BBC football site? Makes interesting reading!

Good luck to everyone (including Paul Scholes)! ................ Keep the Faith! .............. And thanks for playing!