A question for Mums

WillowTheWhisp said:
It's the Hope Centre in Ossy. I've been quite happy to let the girls go there because it's a church run group and they also run the "Edge Camp" thingy that Moorhead pupils go on in the summer. I'm beginning to wonder now if the samps are as responsibly run as I'd assumed they must be. :(
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Even if there were two young people waiting for a lift together, you'd have thought they could pick them up at one of their houses, rather than a dark street.

I'm shocked that they don't seem to think the safety of the young people in their care is that important.:(
 
Well first you have to consider at what point they are 'in their care'. From the moment they are picked up in the minibus or from the minute they leave their parents house?

Personally, I think it's from when they are collected and they remain in their parents care until that point.

Although I do agree that the pick up point doesn't sound a good one and discussion with the Hope Centre to find a better one is a good idea.
 
WillowTheWhisp said:
But even as an adult I would not want to stand around on that corner in the dark alone.
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Why not, are you worred that cars might slow down as they drove past? :rolleyes:
 
No, she's not in their care when she leaves the house. That's the whole point. I wouldn't expect her to be asked to wait alone in the dark on a corner out of sight of home. It's not a case of being in anyone's care. It's just not a sensible thing to do. I wouldn't even do it.

If you were going to take a child somewhere wouldn't you pick them up from home? I would.
 
Gayle said:
Well first you have to consider at what point they are 'in their care'. From the moment they are picked up in the minibus or from the minute they leave their parents house?

Personally, I think it's from when they are collected and they remain in their parents care until that point.

Although I do agree that the pick up point doesn't sound a good one and discussion with the Hope Centre to find a better one is a good idea.
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I think they are in their care from the moment they have to leave the house and wait on a dark street at a pickup point.

Perhaps they just haven't thought how dangerous this is. How many young people do they pick up locally? I'm sure Willow wouldn't mind her home being used as a pickup point for other local children too.
 
Neil said:
Why not, are you worred that cars might slow down as they drove past? :rolleyes:
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What are you insinuating? There are dangers and as a parent I would hope you'd have enough sense to realise that.
 
At the end of the day any parent would be as worried as hell and as Slinks pointed out a teenage tantrum is better than something a lot worse. WE may let our kids have more freedom than most of us had but with that comes theresponsibility of being absolutely certain that they are safe. Being picked up and dropped off at the house may seem like a crime to them but parents (tut tut willow for calling it a question for mums :rolleyes::p :D ) are better seeing them get in and out of the transport for their own piece of mind. Me I would be worried even if they are at a youth club because unless they are locked in whats to stop them sneaking out?

Stick by your guns Willow. Hope your dughter understands your reasons for it. :)
 
WillowTheWhisp said:
as a parent I would hope you'd have enough sense to realise that.
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I certainly do have the sense Willow. I do however wonder what vetting you may have done regarding the Hope Centre. Just because it is church run, (who's church?) does not mean it is a safe place to be. The carpark and entrance way is very dark and rather off putting for a start. Are the people who run the activities vetting in the same way as teachers are in a school? I very much doubt it. These groups are run my members of the church and not neccesarily the same people each week either. Who else is present within the building while the children are there? There is only one male and one female toilet and the main door to the building is left unlocked while activities take place so anyone could wander in.
 
Neil said:
I certainly do have the sense Willow. I do however wonder what vetting you may have done regarding the Hope Centre. Just because it is church run, (who's church?) does not mean it is a safe place to be. The carpark and entrance way is very dark and rather off putting for a start. Are the people who run the activities vetting in the same way as teachers are in a school? I very much doubt it. These groups are run my members of the church and not neccesarily the same people each week either. Who else is present within the building while the children are there? There is only one male and one female toilet and the main door to the building is left unlocked while activities take place so anyone could wander in.
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I have actually been to the Hope Centre, to an "Edge Camp Reunion" and perhaps it's been naive of me to assume that because this Hope Centre group must have been vetted by the school due to running the Edge Camps and perhaps it's been naive of me to assume that because responsible adult looking type people were there at the reunion then they would also have responsible adults running the youth club, and perhaps because our church youth groups always do have several male and female responsible adults, the same people each week, and perhaps because the doors are always locked to keep strangers out whilst they are there perhaps that has also influenced my assumptions as to how this club is organised.

However, I am now beginning to wonder if the Edge Camps themselves are as well run as we have been led to believe if the youth club organsation may be as casual as you indicate.
 
my daughter is 12 and there is no way i would let her stand alone in the dark! :eek:god i dont like her going to school on her own, but she has too! we have to realise that we cant wrap em up in cotton wool and that they have to go alone sometime, its the pervs that should be watched 24/7! :(
 
In these sad times when youngsters are in danger from even their own age-group, let alone anyone else, I would have thought the Youth Club would make more sensible arrangements. Why, if they can't visit every home, don't they pick up from, perhaps, well-lit bus stops?

Have you thought of going to see the people in charge and making your worries known? Are you the only parent who thinks this is unacceptable? I don't think much of a Youth Club leader who isn't up to speed with the situation on our streets these days and I'd be very tempted to tell them so.
 
Neil said:
I certainly do have the sense Willow. I do however wonder what vetting you may have done regarding the Hope Centre. Just because it is church run, (who's church?) does not mean it is a safe place to be. The carpark and entrance way is very dark and rather off putting for a start. Are the people who run the activities vetting in the same way as teachers are in a school? I very much doubt it. These groups are run my members of the church and not neccesarily the same people each week either. Who else is present within the building while the children are there? There is only one male and one female toilet and the main door to the building is left unlocked while activities take place so anyone could wander in.
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Do you have any real evidence about all this stuff or is it just conjecture?
 
Forgot to mention in answer to the question "Whose Church?" - The Hope Centre is a church. As far as I know it's a totally independant thing of its own.
 
I have been on edge camp with Moorhead as one of the adults responsible for the students and I have to say it is extremely well run. The edge team organise all of the activities, which run right from after breakfast until evening. They take great care of all students, who are also supervised by Moorhead staff. As you know Willow they have a great time and we look after them as if they were our own. As far as I am aware there has NEVER been any issue raised by any parents after the children have returned from camp. The Edge team give up their own time and holidays to entertain and look after your children and they have done it very well, ALL CREDIT TO THEM. I havent seen children playing as much as they do on camp. Activities include dodgeball, water games, team games, castle bombing and ALL the children loved nothing more than rolling down the hill (I used to love doing that).
I can't decide what your problem is, if you are so worried about them getting to Youth club then get them a taxi or keep them at home . I am not happy about you slagging off the Edge camp when both of your daughters have enjoyed it so much. It gives children confidence and a sense of independence and a week of playing safely, playing like children used to and should do. PLEASE don't put other parents off, children benefit from all the effort that the Edge team and the school staff put in and I for one am truly grateful for all of the Edge team's efforts
 
I don't deny that my girls have enjoyed Edge Camp and neither of them have brought back any complaints about anything. I also realise that it's in the summer and there are not likely to be any chances of a girl being asked to wait somewhere in the dark on her own.

It is being asked to do that which gave me cause for concern - and the fact that the person who was giving her a lift didn't see anything wrong with asking a child to wait alone in the dark on a street corner down the road and out of sight of home did make me wonder if anyone else would have qualms about letting their 12 year old daughter do this. Which is why I posted this thread - and by the responses on here I can see that I'm not alone. Would you be happy for a 12 year old daughter of yours to stand at the top of Chester Street in the dark waiting for a mini bus alone? I'm puzzled that you "can't decide what my problem is" - it is exactly what I said - surely anyone concerned for the safety of a 12 year old girl wouldn't ask her to stand alone in the dark out of sight of home?

She wasn't too fussed about going to the Youth Club and decided off her own bat not to go. I couldn't tell them that last night because she'd gone to bed by the time they phoned to ask. Unfortunately although she did tell someone before she got home tonight the message must not have filtered through because they called at the house for her. (Which they had said they would do "just this once" on the phone to me last night.) Now as I've said if she has ever wanted to go and Busman been here then he has happily taken her. When both girls go to our own church Youth Group and get a lift from one of the adults who runs it then the person calls here at the house for them and drops them back off here at the house. If we have ever taken a child/teenager anywhere (either Busman or my late husband) they would be collected from their own home, taken back to their own home and watched as they went in to make sure they got in safely. That just seems natural to me. I would never dream of asking a child to wait on a dark street corner.

As I said earlier I have been to the Hope Centre to one of the reunion meetings and although it was a bit boisterous compared to what I'm used to I had no qualms about letting either or both of the girls go to the Youth Club there. I couldn't see any problems with the car park or the people or the toilets or any of the other things mentioned previously. If I had then I wouldn't have let them go.

Yes of course they could get a taxi if they wanted to go and Busman couldn't take them. That has never cropped up though because someone from the Hope Centre said there was no need because they would be collected in this mini bus if required. Mimi had other plans for this evening though as she went to a youth dance in Huddersfield with a bunch of youngsters from our church, in a minibus driven by a parent and delivered right back to the door and watched to see that she got in safely. Emz couldn't go as she is too young for those dances.

If you think I'm at fault for being concerned about my child's safety then I'm afraid we'll have to differ on that subject.
 
12 year old in danger

sorry i disagree i have always been responsable for my children werever they went i would take them to a safe place and i would pick them up this responsability is yours if you want them to have outside intersts, you canot put the safty of your child onto some-one else unless it is agreed with them before hand . youth groups are there to help children not to take full responseability off the parent i am sorry if you dont agree with me but this is my view whitch has been asked for
 
CASPER said:
At least they pick her up, it would be worse if she had to make her own way there and back.
I personally would wait with her and if she didn't like it then she would be able to go.
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i agree when your child reaches 12 years old the rules are down to you its your responsability as to where they go and with whoever but it is still your disition and responsability to make sure they are safe.
 
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