A question for Mums

Well the way I actually addressed the situation was by saying "No". I just didn't forsee any problems in asking other Mums' opinions.

Sometimes I have a point of view which I think is 'normal' but then other Mums disagree with me - like the one about whether or not kids should be asked to swear in a school play. I like to know what other people's views are. It broadens my outlook.
 
I've just spoken to someone from the Hope Centre who us going to have a word with the Youth Pastor.

The lady I spoke to said that she wouldn't be happy with a child waiting there in the dark either.

She was very nice and didn't say anything about me being an irresponsible parent who can't be bothered to get up off her lazy bum to get her own child to the youth club. We had a long chat and I will let you know what the Youth Pastor says if and when he gets back to me.

Incidentally I think this answers the question someone raised about who is in charge of the youth club. :)
 
Neil said:
I certainly do have the sense Willow. I do however wonder what vetting you may have done regarding the Hope Centre. Just because it is church run, (who's church?) does not mean it is a safe place to be. The carpark and entrance way is very dark and rather off putting for a start. Are the people who run the activities vetting in the same way as teachers are in a school? I very much doubt it. These groups are run my members of the church and not neccesarily the same people each week either. Who else is present within the building while the children are there? There is only one male and one female toilet and the main door to the building is left unlocked while activities take place so anyone could wander in.
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excuse me but i go to that church and the youth club and it is run very well by people that very kind and that are lots of fun. There is nothing wrong with the youth club and the transport if your daugther told them that she wanted to meet them somewhere else closer to her home then they can do that. they can't pick everyone up from there home. And if you love your daughter enough you would stand with her.
 
i am teenager that goes to the youth club and the church and have no problem with how it is run, however what i do know is that both ur daughter like going to the youth club and if you dont like the way it is run well frankly that is ur problem.
 
No I wouldn't stand with her because I don't think it's a good place for me to stand with her either.

You don't know me and you don't know my own health problems at present that would actually make it very difficult for me to be able to do that anyway, so please don't make wild assumptions and accusations.

The representative I spoke to today from your church also didn't think it was a good idea to ask her to stand alone on street corners in the dark.

My daughter couldn't tell them anything herself when they phoned up because like most 12 year olds on a schoolnight she had already gone to bed. She spoke to someone the following day.

If they can't pick her up from home then fair enough - but they shouldn't offer to pick her up from a dark deserted street corner so far from home. THAT was, and still is, my point. As Garinda had suggested I wouldn't object if they picked several children up from here rather than have other kids waiting around various assorted places outside in the dark too. I just can't get my head round anybody thinking this is an OK thing to do. Perhaps other parents don't object to their children being picked up on street corners - but perhaps they aren't even aware.

What do you mean IF I love my daughter? :mad: How dare you imply that I don't. Isn't the fact that I don't let her stand around alone on dark street corners an indication that I take her safety seriously?

I am still waiting to hear from the Youth Pastor.

I'm also not impressed by my daughter being blamed for Neil's opinion of the Hope Centre when all she did was choose not to go last Friday and do something else instead. I have only met Neil a couple of times and those being AccyWeb connected. If you care to look back, when he posted his opinions of the Hope Centre I actually said that I had been there and although it's not my own personal cup of tea (I'm just not into all that loud sort of stuff) I saw no reason to object to my daughters going there to the youth club if and when they want to. I have never said anything about objecting to the way the youth club is run. My only crime here is to care about the safety of my children.:mad:

I'm totally baffled as to how this thread which I started as the query of a caring mother has now turned into an accusation of my not loving me daughter.
 
Willow, I have only just read My daughter's post (DEVILANGEL). Please understand that she is very loyal and passionate about the church and the youth club, with good reason. I know that she didn't mean to offend and upset you, she also knows that your daughters are well loved and cared for. I am sure that when she reads your reply that she will be sorry that she has insinuated that you don't love your daughters. That really is NOT the issue here. Hope everything goes well with the youth pastor.
 

I can appreciate her loyalty.

I hope the Youth Pastor does get in touch with me but if not then I shall phone on Friday in the hope of speaking to him.

I hope to be able to report that he is as concerned for the safety of children as I am, (not just my own girls but any other children this may affect) just as the woman I spoke to today was.
 
willow i am deeply sorry for what i put, i didnt mean that you dont love your daughters because i know that you do. i am deepy sorry again, it is just that people where saying stuff about the youth club and church (not you) saying that they just let anyone in, when they don't. deeply sorry again. hope you forgive me.
 
devilangel said:
saying that they just let anyone in, when they don't.
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:D Well they let my two in!


Seriously though, I wouldn't have let them go if I'd ever thought it wasn't a safe place to be. Thank you for your post. It shows an admirable strength character to apologise as you have just done. :)

I really do hope I can speak to your Youth Pastor and get this sorted out properly. I don't know if he's received the message or not yet but still not heard from him. I will try to contact him on Friday if I don't heard from him before then.
 
Are there any other youth groups that offer a free minibus service in the area??
Are there any other youth clubs at all that will welcome anybody?
I was wondering if there is any other youth groups of this type in or around ozzy?
 
I have already said that I appreciate the minibus.

Yes other youth clubs welcome anyone. I believe the one in Peel Street Accrington welcomes children who are not members of their church. Our own church youth group (in Blackburn) welcomes anyone and they don't have to pay for anything. No, we don't have a free mini bus but if a parent gives another child a lift to and from the church the child is collected at home or at the home of a friend if they are going at the invitation of that friend and brought back safely to the door of the house.

My girls go there every week but they were also invited and encouraged to go to the Hope Centre by Hope Centre youth workers and those from the Hope Centre who have been involved with the Edge Camp at school. The invitation came from the church - it wasn't a case of my girls wanting to go somewhere they didn't belong.

I never did get a phone call from the Youth Pastor and I haven't followed it up as yet because I've had lots of thngs on my mind, mainly health ones and making appointments with doctors and hospitals. By the time I've made those phone calls I'm worn out and had enough of the phone. The minibus driver did call here at the house last Friday.
 
ive read most of the threads and cant understand why you started it. is it the church that you dont like because of what ive read it seems a good idea to have the youth club, and if they will come out of ozzy to pick people up and drop them off for free i cant see what would offend you..
 
thomas3.16 said:
ive read most of the threads and cant understand why you started it. is it the church that you dont like because of what ive read it seems a good idea to have the youth club, and if they will come out of ozzy to pick people up and drop them off for free i cant see what would offend you..
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Did you read willows first post, because if you did then you know the answer?
I got the impression she was concerned about her Daughters.

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25708

:)
 
i can see her point but it seems obvious that if she was concerned about her being on her own that someone would go with her to make sure she was getting on the bus safley....
 
I think that we've already been through all this and I'm sure that Willow will not wish to keep repeating herself (apologies if I am wrong Willow). All aspects of this topic have already been discussed. Please read through the thread again and you will see what I mean.
 
Thank you Caspar, yes I think we have already been through all this and, if you read my opening post, Thomas you will see why I started this thread. You will see that my question was directed to other mothers to see if any others shared my concerns about not letting a child stand alone in the dark on a deserted street corner. Even the person I spoke to at the Hope Centre agreed with me on that.

If you'd bothered to read all my posts you might even have noticed that I said I wished I hadn't answered the post in which someone asked me which youth club it was. I should have let it remain anonymous but hindsight is a wonderful thing. This wasn't started as a thread of complaint. It was started as a query to see if others shared my view or thought I was being over protective. The initial replies indicated that I was not alone in my vews.

If you had bothered to read my posts you would have noticed also that there was no-one available to go down there with her and wait with her on that particular day. If my husband had been at home he would have taken her to the youth club himself in our car, never mind to the street corner rendezvous. I cannot drive so cannot do so, and I also have some health problems at present which make it extremely difficult for me to be able to stand for any length of time, partcularly in the cold and wet. Apart from which I don't even think it's a safe place for an adult to lurk in the dark let alone a child. If you'd read the whole thread you would have noticed that too.

I find it odd that you joined this forum purely to attack me in this thread. If you are a representatve of the Hope Centre you're really not doing it any favours. All you are doing is putting my daughter, and maybe others too, off going there again. Is that your intention? As I said, it wasn't their idea to go in the first place. They have been repeatedly invited by others on behalf of the youth club/church. I have also said that I have no objections to them going, but sadly you are beginning to change my mind on that now.

The person I spoke to on the phone at the Hope Centre on the other hand did give me a far more favourable impression of the church and the youth club than you are doing. Last Friday the mini bus called here. If the Youth Pastor and the driver object to doing that at any time in the future, and if my husband is working then my daughter(s) simply won't go. It won't worry them. They have plenty of other interests and things they can do on a Friday evening.
 
i didnt join this thread to attack you i was just joining in on the first thing that caught my eye.......
i had not heard of the youth club untill i read your threads and was just trying to spark a debate
 
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