Accrington Limericks

B

Bob Dobson

Pillar o' t' Community
Tackler
Some years ago I published a book called 'Lancashire Limericks' by John Sephton. In it are verses on Accrington, Church and Ossie. I show the Accrington one here, and will post the others soon. Members may like to write & post others, on , for instance, Laneside, Fern Gore, Bash, Huncoat ,Clayton,Rishton- and Accrington, Church & Ossie.

A 'omin'-pigeon fancier fro' Accrington
'ad a cropped white-ringt brid and a black-ringt un;
T'cropped brid 'ad to walk,
So he learned it to talk,
An' as folk t'best road to Accrington
 
A bride wi no groom at Church church
Sniffed, "Ah reckon Ah've bin left in t'lurch lurch;
'E's nobbut a lad lad.
Not really bab bad
But he want's knockin' off his purch purch

(John Sephton)
 
well i did donate a little limerick of my own about accrington but after 24 hours it finaly got removed lol

thanx to the people who supported my limerick and awarded the karma :D
 
there was a young man come from Accy
whose clothes were all dirty and taccy
his mam said stan your not a clean man
but dont you just think im your lacky
 
There was a young woman from Ossy
Who was taken up to the hozzy
A lift she did cadge
With a woman called Madge
Whose left eye had gone gozzy

They got back from the hozzy quite late
They were both in a terrible state
And poor old Madge
Hadn't got a blue badge
So she'd had to pay for her wait. :D
 
there was a young man from accy
whos hands were all sticky and tacky
i wont waste your time
i will be quite frank
i think hed just had a wink
 
slinky said:
Poor bugger :( Conjunctivitis is horrible!! ;)
Click to expand...


im glad somone has a clean mind everyone esle seems to think they have a better word for that poem which i find disgusting and repulsive and am actualy shocked by the suggestion put forward :(
 
There was an old man from Ossy,
who shopped in his wife's old swimming cossie.
Whlist out buying bread,
he suddenly dropped dead,
and they buried 'im in a grave which read 'Flossie'.
 
There was a young lad from Accy,
whose extremities were incredibly tacky.
One day playin' cricket,
his hand touched the wicket,
'n' now he can't roll his baccy.
 
I can get the first three lines ok then my warped mind takes me into the over 18 section.Think I need help.
 
There was a young woman from Bash,
who'd do owt for a spare bit o' cash.
Whilst dancin' in nude,
she slipped on some food,
'n' now she's come out in a rash.

I'll get my coat.:D
 
There was a young lass from Fern Gore
Who thought Bullough Park was a bore
She demanded new rides,
Seesaws, swings, ropes and slides
But the council's response was - NO MORE!
 
There was a young lady from Church.
For a weak man she decided to search.
Whilst in Gatty Park,
she found two after dark,
and now she's a pair she can birch.
 
There was a young girl from Springhill
Who swallowed an odd looking pill
She downed it in one
Whilst her family looked on
Now she's a bloke who calls himself Don. :D
 
The girl from Fern Gore - I haven't come across one as up-to-date as this before. Only heard this on today's news.

Gatty Park - one of several good'uns from Garinda. This is even better because it includes birch , a tree found in Gatty Park. The last line could have read

They were hiding behind a tree - birch
 
There was a man from West End,
who trumped whenever he'd bend.
Whilst tieing his lace,
he went red in the face,
and smoke from his arse did descend.

Sorry bit rude....it's not easy thinking of clean(ish) ones.:o
 
There was a young girl from The Straits
Who was the envy of all of her mates
She had plenty of money
Was lively and funny
She always had plenty of dates

She went on a date with a bloke
Drank pints of JD and coke
She ate a kebab
Then was sick in the cab
And on her own vomit she choked
 
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