George had hated putting his wife into the nursing home.
He had struggled on for many months, no....it wasn't months, it was years. It was so hard for him to admit that things had changed. even harder for him to accept that his once bright wife, was drifting away from him.
It was insidious, the way her nature changed. He hardly noticed at first when she 'forgot' things, when she got exasperated because she could not find the word she wanted to say.
Eventually she stopped saying anything, well no, that's not true.....she stopped saying anything intelligible. It was like she was talking, no shouting, in a language that he was supposed to know, but had never learned. He had to do things that she had always done. And over time, he was doing everything for her.
He didn't mind because he remembered his promise 'In sickness and in health'. They had had a very good marriage. They laughed lots and even when trouble hit they pulled together.
Nothing seemed impossible when you had a good wife to share it with. George missed their conversations, the silences were different now. Empty, like there was no-one there.
Then Edie stopped sleeping....or if she slept it was for minutes. She would wake up and look terrified. When she was awake she wandered from room to room in their flat, like she had lost something but didn't know what it was.
George had gone to bed one night.... Edie had seemed more settled than she had been in days and had gone to bed and straight off to sleep.....George felt that he might get a few hours sleep. He had woken just after 2am and the flat door was wide open and Edie was gone.
He was in a blind panic.....how could he have not heard her open the door? How could he be so stupid to leave the key in the back of the door? all kinds of thoughts went through his head in the time it took for him to put on his slippers and dressing gown.
He hurried out into the street. By the light of a street lamp he could see a pale shape in the distance......'Edie' he shouted.
Edie didn't even turn around, she just trudged on.
George caught up with her. He was breathless, angry frightened and relieved. All at the same time.
Edie was cold, she had only her nightdress on and one stocking that was wrinkled round her ankles.
George took off his dressing gown and draped it round her shoulders and shepherded her back to the flat.
From then on George took the keys to bed with him if he went to bed. Many nights he just dozed in the chair.
George soon became worn out. He was doing everything in the house as well as looking after Edie. The lack of sleep took its' toll of him. He became very ill with pneumonia and was taken to hospital.
George had felt under the weather for a few days but he made himself keep going. Everything seemed to take twice as long as normal. His muscles ached, he felt hot one minute and shivery the next. The only thing that was on his mind was that he must get something to make him better.
He locked Edie in the flat after explaining to her that he would not be very long.....he was just going down the shops. He always explained where he was going if he went out without her.
He knew she didn't understand, but it was a hard habit to break.
George intended going to the Chemists in Priory Road. He felt very weak and wobbly, he put that down to the fact that he hadn't had any breakfast: his appetite had been very poor recently. Even though he cooked for them both, these days most of his food went into the bin. He considered this to be a sinful waste.
George had just got to the corner of Priory Road and Cartmel Avenue when he felt that he must sit down.
He sat down on a garden wall and the next thing he knew he was in an ambulance with an oxygen mask over his face.
He tried to sit up. The ambulance man said 'Lie down Pops, we'll soon have you at St Luke's and they'll sort you out'
'But I've got to go back, I've left Edie on her own'. George became more and more agitated. 'Please take me home, I'll be alright if you just take me home' he begged.
'You're really sick Pops, we need to get a doctor to have a look at you'.
That was how he ended up in hospital, and how Edie ended up in a nursing home.
This was a disaster as far as George was concerned.
The hospital Social Worker was very pleasant but she was adamant that George could not carry on looking after Edie. In any case she would have to stay in the nursing home while George was in hospital, there was no-one else to look after her
George tried to console himself with the thought that it was not HIM who had put Edie into the home. It was the Social Worker, Miss Mann. But, he reasoned, if he had taken better care of himself and not become ill. He knew that this line of reasoning was daft and illogical.
The first place that Edie had been was awful. Once the hospital discharged George he went to see Edie in Downsmoor. It was a shock to see Edie looking like that, she was unkempt and was wearing clothes that didn't belong to her and didn't fit her.
Remains of her dinner stained the front of her cardigan, and there was a dark stain on the back of her dress.
George took her to the toilet and was alarmed to find her underwear was in the same shabby state as her top clothes.
Her fingernails were longer than she liked them and they were encrusted with something he didn't much like the look of.
Worst of all, she cried and banged on the window when he left.
It broke his heart to think of her in that place, but he knew very well that he was still not strong enough to have her home and do all the caring again.
It hurt George even more because he knew that Edie would be appalled at how she looked.
When she was well, Edie was very particular about her appearance. She was from the generation of women who liked smart clothes, matching shoes.....even when she did the housework she would wear a pretty overall or apron. She always wore a trace of lipstick and a little bit of rouge. She wouldn't dream of venturing out of the house without doing her face. And, although she was now quite grey, she always had her hair curled and styled, sometimes with a lilac rinse.
George used to tease her and tell her she was vain.
Edie would tell him that there was nothing wrong in taking pride in your appearance. It saddened him greatly to see her in this state
George decided that Edie deserved better than this, and she should have it...whatever it cost.
George and Edie had lived a frugal life. That is not to say that they went without. It's just that their needs were very simple.
They had always saved and put that little bit away each week 'for a rainy day'.
George thought to himself........ it's not raining, it's bloody pouring down. When troubles had hit them in the past Edie had fought against spending any of their nest egg, always preferring to find some other way to sort out their difficulties.
He was glad that she wasn't going to have a say in what he was going to do with the money now.
George decided he would spend every penny he owned to get her out of that place, and into somewhere she could be looked after and cared for properly.
He looked in the telephone directory to find the names of other nursing homes, and then he visited them, one by one.
Some of the homes were not keen to take Edie because of he Alzheimer's Disease and the fact that she was a 'wanderer'.
All were very expensive and George realised that the money they had put to one side would soon be eaten up. He decided not to worry about that now. He was hoping that his own health would be better by then and he could take her home and look after her himself. He even thought that maybe he could get a little job, he laughed at the absurdity of this thought. What on earth could he do? Who would take him on? He looked pale and thin and not in the best health. Ah well, it was a thought...even if it was a bloody silly one.
Eventually he heard about Briar Grove Nursing Home. It was a good twenty minutes walk away from where they lived. The home was situated on a hill with views of the town. He went to visit the home one lunchtime. There was a lovely aroma of roast meat. It made him feel very hungry.
It was Mr Downs who showed him round. The sunny lounge looked onto landscaped gardens. It was not like the other place, it smelled fresh and clean, there was no lingering smell of stale urine. It felt a welcoming place. George was impressed, he felt that Edie would like it here.
Mr Downs told George that there was a vacant single room on the ground floor. The room was off the main corridor, it had a matching bedspread and curtains in a lovely chintzy material. There was a comfortable armchair, a night stand, a set of pine drawer and a wardrobe built into the recess. He liked it, and was determined that this is where Edie would be looked after.
OK folks that is as far as I have got. Do you think it is worth continuing.....there is a twist to the story.....but I'm not telling you what it is......yet!
He had struggled on for many months, no....it wasn't months, it was years. It was so hard for him to admit that things had changed. even harder for him to accept that his once bright wife, was drifting away from him.
It was insidious, the way her nature changed. He hardly noticed at first when she 'forgot' things, when she got exasperated because she could not find the word she wanted to say.
Eventually she stopped saying anything, well no, that's not true.....she stopped saying anything intelligible. It was like she was talking, no shouting, in a language that he was supposed to know, but had never learned. He had to do things that she had always done. And over time, he was doing everything for her.
He didn't mind because he remembered his promise 'In sickness and in health'. They had had a very good marriage. They laughed lots and even when trouble hit they pulled together.
Nothing seemed impossible when you had a good wife to share it with. George missed their conversations, the silences were different now. Empty, like there was no-one there.
Then Edie stopped sleeping....or if she slept it was for minutes. She would wake up and look terrified. When she was awake she wandered from room to room in their flat, like she had lost something but didn't know what it was.
George had gone to bed one night.... Edie had seemed more settled than she had been in days and had gone to bed and straight off to sleep.....George felt that he might get a few hours sleep. He had woken just after 2am and the flat door was wide open and Edie was gone.
He was in a blind panic.....how could he have not heard her open the door? How could he be so stupid to leave the key in the back of the door? all kinds of thoughts went through his head in the time it took for him to put on his slippers and dressing gown.
He hurried out into the street. By the light of a street lamp he could see a pale shape in the distance......'Edie' he shouted.
Edie didn't even turn around, she just trudged on.
George caught up with her. He was breathless, angry frightened and relieved. All at the same time.
Edie was cold, she had only her nightdress on and one stocking that was wrinkled round her ankles.
George took off his dressing gown and draped it round her shoulders and shepherded her back to the flat.
From then on George took the keys to bed with him if he went to bed. Many nights he just dozed in the chair.
George soon became worn out. He was doing everything in the house as well as looking after Edie. The lack of sleep took its' toll of him. He became very ill with pneumonia and was taken to hospital.
George had felt under the weather for a few days but he made himself keep going. Everything seemed to take twice as long as normal. His muscles ached, he felt hot one minute and shivery the next. The only thing that was on his mind was that he must get something to make him better.
He locked Edie in the flat after explaining to her that he would not be very long.....he was just going down the shops. He always explained where he was going if he went out without her.
He knew she didn't understand, but it was a hard habit to break.
George intended going to the Chemists in Priory Road. He felt very weak and wobbly, he put that down to the fact that he hadn't had any breakfast: his appetite had been very poor recently. Even though he cooked for them both, these days most of his food went into the bin. He considered this to be a sinful waste.
George had just got to the corner of Priory Road and Cartmel Avenue when he felt that he must sit down.
He sat down on a garden wall and the next thing he knew he was in an ambulance with an oxygen mask over his face.
He tried to sit up. The ambulance man said 'Lie down Pops, we'll soon have you at St Luke's and they'll sort you out'
'But I've got to go back, I've left Edie on her own'. George became more and more agitated. 'Please take me home, I'll be alright if you just take me home' he begged.
'You're really sick Pops, we need to get a doctor to have a look at you'.
That was how he ended up in hospital, and how Edie ended up in a nursing home.
This was a disaster as far as George was concerned.
The hospital Social Worker was very pleasant but she was adamant that George could not carry on looking after Edie. In any case she would have to stay in the nursing home while George was in hospital, there was no-one else to look after her
George tried to console himself with the thought that it was not HIM who had put Edie into the home. It was the Social Worker, Miss Mann. But, he reasoned, if he had taken better care of himself and not become ill. He knew that this line of reasoning was daft and illogical.
The first place that Edie had been was awful. Once the hospital discharged George he went to see Edie in Downsmoor. It was a shock to see Edie looking like that, she was unkempt and was wearing clothes that didn't belong to her and didn't fit her.
Remains of her dinner stained the front of her cardigan, and there was a dark stain on the back of her dress.
George took her to the toilet and was alarmed to find her underwear was in the same shabby state as her top clothes.
Her fingernails were longer than she liked them and they were encrusted with something he didn't much like the look of.
Worst of all, she cried and banged on the window when he left.
It broke his heart to think of her in that place, but he knew very well that he was still not strong enough to have her home and do all the caring again.
It hurt George even more because he knew that Edie would be appalled at how she looked.
When she was well, Edie was very particular about her appearance. She was from the generation of women who liked smart clothes, matching shoes.....even when she did the housework she would wear a pretty overall or apron. She always wore a trace of lipstick and a little bit of rouge. She wouldn't dream of venturing out of the house without doing her face. And, although she was now quite grey, she always had her hair curled and styled, sometimes with a lilac rinse.
George used to tease her and tell her she was vain.
Edie would tell him that there was nothing wrong in taking pride in your appearance. It saddened him greatly to see her in this state
George decided that Edie deserved better than this, and she should have it...whatever it cost.
George and Edie had lived a frugal life. That is not to say that they went without. It's just that their needs were very simple.
They had always saved and put that little bit away each week 'for a rainy day'.
George thought to himself........ it's not raining, it's bloody pouring down. When troubles had hit them in the past Edie had fought against spending any of their nest egg, always preferring to find some other way to sort out their difficulties.
He was glad that she wasn't going to have a say in what he was going to do with the money now.
George decided he would spend every penny he owned to get her out of that place, and into somewhere she could be looked after and cared for properly.
He looked in the telephone directory to find the names of other nursing homes, and then he visited them, one by one.
Some of the homes were not keen to take Edie because of he Alzheimer's Disease and the fact that she was a 'wanderer'.
All were very expensive and George realised that the money they had put to one side would soon be eaten up. He decided not to worry about that now. He was hoping that his own health would be better by then and he could take her home and look after her himself. He even thought that maybe he could get a little job, he laughed at the absurdity of this thought. What on earth could he do? Who would take him on? He looked pale and thin and not in the best health. Ah well, it was a thought...even if it was a bloody silly one.
Eventually he heard about Briar Grove Nursing Home. It was a good twenty minutes walk away from where they lived. The home was situated on a hill with views of the town. He went to visit the home one lunchtime. There was a lovely aroma of roast meat. It made him feel very hungry.
It was Mr Downs who showed him round. The sunny lounge looked onto landscaped gardens. It was not like the other place, it smelled fresh and clean, there was no lingering smell of stale urine. It felt a welcoming place. George was impressed, he felt that Edie would like it here.
Mr Downs told George that there was a vacant single room on the ground floor. The room was off the main corridor, it had a matching bedspread and curtains in a lovely chintzy material. There was a comfortable armchair, a night stand, a set of pine drawer and a wardrobe built into the recess. He liked it, and was determined that this is where Edie would be looked after.
OK folks that is as far as I have got. Do you think it is worth continuing.....there is a twist to the story.....but I'm not telling you what it is......yet!
