If ever my husband is run over, or taken ill while we are out and about I am going to completely disown him.......It will all become clear.
When you were a tinlid, did your mother (grandmother) always ask before you went out anywhere.......have you got a clean hankie?......do you need to use the lavatory?
Have you got clean drawers on?
I know that these were always the pointed questions I was asked before going out of the door......any of the questions answered with a NO would mean hat and coat off....clean hankie provided, a visit to the lavvy, and you would never ever admit to having manky drawers on would you?
This would cause something of a delay and I used to ask why it was important ......'because I will be mortified if you are run over and it is found that you have mucky drawers on' was the response.......not sure why the clean hankie was needed. Unless it was to staunch the blood after being run over......the toilet thing ...well, back then my grandma believed you could catch all manner of things from a toilet seat - from plague to beri-beri, plus public toilets were very unsavoury.......I was taught never to sit on the seat, but to hover while I did whatever I was in there for.
Anyway back to why I would disown my other half if he got knocked down.......his underpants are quite disgusting.
Not dirty disgusting, no they are clean, but they are full of holes.......and where there are no holes the material is as thin as gnats wings.......and all this is in the ballroom dept.
I was about to throw a couple of pairs away when I was caught in the act......he howled that they were his favourites.......the most comfortable....and that the holes were there for......ahem, ventilation.
I told him that these were not underpants, they were cabbage nets.
That he was in danger of getting his family jewels caught up in one of the holes cutting off the circulation, then he would need the gangrenous bit cut off.
It didn't make any impression at all and the holey undercrackers were taken back up to his underwear drawer.
I am going to have to resort to cunning and subterfuge......put the holey crackers in the bin on a wednesday morning while he is out doing his shopping and hope the binmen come while he is out.
When you were a tinlid, did your mother (grandmother) always ask before you went out anywhere.......have you got a clean hankie?......do you need to use the lavatory?
Have you got clean drawers on?
I know that these were always the pointed questions I was asked before going out of the door......any of the questions answered with a NO would mean hat and coat off....clean hankie provided, a visit to the lavvy, and you would never ever admit to having manky drawers on would you?
This would cause something of a delay and I used to ask why it was important ......'because I will be mortified if you are run over and it is found that you have mucky drawers on' was the response.......not sure why the clean hankie was needed. Unless it was to staunch the blood after being run over......the toilet thing ...well, back then my grandma believed you could catch all manner of things from a toilet seat - from plague to beri-beri, plus public toilets were very unsavoury.......I was taught never to sit on the seat, but to hover while I did whatever I was in there for.
Anyway back to why I would disown my other half if he got knocked down.......his underpants are quite disgusting.
Not dirty disgusting, no they are clean, but they are full of holes.......and where there are no holes the material is as thin as gnats wings.......and all this is in the ballroom dept.
I was about to throw a couple of pairs away when I was caught in the act......he howled that they were his favourites.......the most comfortable....and that the holes were there for......ahem, ventilation.
I told him that these were not underpants, they were cabbage nets.
That he was in danger of getting his family jewels caught up in one of the holes cutting off the circulation, then he would need the gangrenous bit cut off.
It didn't make any impression at all and the holey undercrackers were taken back up to his underwear drawer.
I am going to have to resort to cunning and subterfuge......put the holey crackers in the bin on a wednesday morning while he is out doing his shopping and hope the binmen come while he is out.
(The cloth, and the bottom)
