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Busman747

Always EVIL within us
Tackler
I am off to Ireland for a few days so I will leave this for you to chuckle over...(or not):D

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.


2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.



3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



4. A backward poet writes inverse.



5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.



6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.



7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.



9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.



10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.



11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.



12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.



13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



14.. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.



15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.



16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.



17. Every calendar's days are numbered.



18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.



19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.



20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.



21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.



22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.



24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


Byeee

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Busman747 said:
I am off to Ireland for a few days so I will leave this for you to chuckle over...(or not):D

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.


2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.



3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



4. A backward poet writes inverse.



5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.



6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.



7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.



9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.



10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.



11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.



12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.



13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



14.. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.



15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.



16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.



17. Every calendar's days are numbered.



18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.



19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.



20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.



21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.



22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.



24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


Byeee

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not much to chuckle over.
 
Hope you have a good time in Ireland Busman

But don't forget to keep your eyes open, because you can't see if you don't.
 
Thank you ladies, I will be dragging Willow along by her hair....Ooops, this isn't the "suicide" thread!:eek: sorry, taking Willow along;)

....and thank you also removal_man, you are obviously a man of few words...and even fewer brain cells. On my return I will try to find humour that has fewer big words just for you.
 
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