Envy

MargaretR

MargaretR

Peel Monument
Overlooker
I am feeling a bit philosophical this evening.

I want your views on 'envy'. Twice recently I have been told 'I envy you' when discussing my accommodation. I feel very uncomfortable on hearing it. I think they were trying to congratulate me, but 'envy' is not an emotion I have experienced and I cannot appreciate why some people do.

Envy - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary
"painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage ".

The 'resentful' aspect is what causes me disquiet. I feel sure that they don't resent my home comforts, but their improper use of 'envy' conveyed that they did.

It was only when I felt uncomfortable about the use of the word, that I searched back in my memories to realise that I can honestly say I have never felt 'envy'.

I want them to say they are happy that I am more comfortable now, not that they resent me being so.

Please don't misuse the word - it is an expression of a negative emotion, which, if you feel it, is best not expressed.

If you think I am just polishing my halo, I don't mind you saying so - ;)
 
I think it is easy to over think the emotions that might be expressed by using one word rather than another.
I could very easily say that I envy my sisters home and her living environment - she lives in Australia, but there would be absolutely no resentment on my part.
I am glad she has a very good life style.
Sometimes words might have very 'black and white' meanings as far as the dictionary is concerned, but common usage may make the meaning less well defined.

I'm sure the people who used this term didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, and would probably be upset if they knew this was how you had taken their comment.
You are reacting emotionally too.... And only you can change that

That is my take on it Margaret. I am very pleased that you are comfortable in your home.
It is somewhere that you spend all your time, so it needs to be a happy place for you.
 
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Well fortunately envy is something that has never bothered me, I neither envy, nor feel envious of anyone or anything, sometimes wish I had better health, hey but don't we all
 
Isn't wishing a 'sort' of envy...you may not express it as envy....and it is more general. By that I mean, you don't direct it at a particular person, but it is still something that you would like to have...that you can see other people have, and perhaps give it very little thought or value.

It is all a matter of semantics.....or splitting hairs.
In the end, what someone else thinks or feels has no bearing on your life, unless of course you give it more credence and more importance than it deserves.

That is why I find this topic from Margaret(who seems totally at ease with her life, and in control of her emotions, psyche...whatever you want to call it) more than a little surprising....interesting too, but definitely surprising.
 
My life is no 'bed of roses' - I struggle to breathe most of the time - I don't feel human until I have been awake for 3 hours.
My home comforts just make it easier to bear - my way of 'looking on the bright side', and 'accentuating the positive'.
I blame this philosophical phase on a short course of high strength oral steroids - I have seen what it is like to be bi-polar.:D
 
Margaret, I know your life isn't easy....and my post was not a criticism of you in any way.
There is nothing wrong with being philosophical - heaven knows over the last months I have gone down that route too, but navel gazing is just that, and there is always the possibility that when we do a post mortem on what someone has said we read into it far too much...lots of people are too dumb to put hidden agendas into what they say.

Enjoy what you have now....this is a new chapter and I hope that in such surroundings your health improves so imperceptibly that you do not realise it is happening......it is good to remember that you have a past, but we all have to live in the present.
NOW who's being philosophical:D:D:D ?
 
MargaretR said:
I blame this philosophical phase on a short course of high strength oral steroids - I have seen what it is like to be bi-polar.:D
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Yes they certainly whip up the old brain. I have been on them for a few months now and things have settled down but it isn't easy at first. As you say, bipolar here we come.

Maybe your new home is driving you in directions you never envisaged. You seem settled there which is good. And well done for being honest about it all with yourself.
 
Steroids are bad news - long term use gave my mother osteoporosis and cataracts.
I was prescribed weak strength inhaled steroids in July but I got dizzy spells ( and other nasty side effects due to a reaction to the aerosol propellant).
So now I can only take steroids orally which is the most damaging way.

I have a 5 day course always on hand for when breathing gets really laborious. I avoid them otherwise.

Their effect on the brain has strange results -
Ever since I read up on Zen philosophy and the teachings of Erchart Tolle, I have learned how to control my dreams and abolished nightmares.

During today's 2 hour midday nap I dreamt that I had an infestation of black widow spiders in my kitchen - that'll 'larn me' not to get smug :D
 
It's just a turn of phrase, although they've used the word "envy" I don't see them meaning it in the actual dictionary context. It's merely a colloquialism quite often trotted out in conversation so I wouldn't get overly fussed about it if I where you. :)

Sleeping Doggies & all that Mags. ;)
 
MargaretR said:
Steroids are bad news - long term use gave my mother osteoporosis and cataracts.
I was prescribed weak strength inhaled steroids in July but I got dizzy spells ( and other nasty side effects due to a reaction to the aerosol propellant).
So now I can only take steroids orally which is the most damaging way.

I have a 5 day course always on hand for when breathing gets really laborious. I avoid them otherwise.

Their effect on the brain has strange results -
Ever since I read up on Zen philosophy and the teachings of Erchart Tolle, I have learned how to control my dreams and abolished nightmares.

During today's 2 hour midday nap I dreamt that I had an infestation of black widow spiders in my kitchen - that'll 'larn me' not to get smug :D
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I've been on oral steroids for over 25 years very much by necessity, have also had steroid inhalers too, as you said Margaret there are many side effects from steroids osteoporosis being one of them, but the alternative would have been a very early death, at the moment I'm on 15mg per day maintenance dose, but if need be can increase to 50mg, to combat infection, for a short period of time. Needless to say being on so much medication I monitor everything very carefully and to ensure there is no interaction with any new meds that can be introduce, but hell so long as it keeps me alive who cares
 
jaysay said:
at the moment I'm on 15mg per day maintenance dose, but if need be can increase to 50mg, to combat infection, for a short period of time.
Click to expand...

I have just completed 5 days at 30mg per day.
It is reassuring to know that it wasn't a maximum dose.

I might try a low level 'maintenance' dose for a few days more if I feel the need today.

Knowing what you take gives me that confidence - after all you are surviving it ;)
 
MargaretR said:
I am feeling a bit philosophical this evening.
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When you feel like this, make a cup of hot chocolate; add four or five ounces of Fireball; spark up a couple of big, fat, doobies; and relax. The feeling will go away.;)

images


Oh ... and ignore dictionaries ... unless you are confronted by something like "syzygy":confused:
 
jaysay said:
I've been on oral steroids for over 25 years very much by necessity, have also had steroid inhalers too, as you said Margaret there are many side effects from steroids osteoporosis being one of them, but the alternative would have been a very early death, at the moment I'm on 15mg per day maintenance dose, but if need be can increase to 50mg, to combat infection, for a short period of time. Needless to say being on so much medication I monitor everything very carefully and to ensure there is no interaction with any new meds that can be introduce, but hell so long as it keeps me alive who cares
Click to expand...

MargaretR said:
I have just completed 5 days at 30mg per day.
It is reassuring to know that it wasn't a maximum dose.

I might try a low level 'maintenance' dose for a few days more if I feel the need today.

Knowing what you take gives me that confidence - after all you are surviving it ;)
Click to expand...
Wow you two... I'm only on 10mg/day and thought that was plenty - still gives scope for a lot more!
 
Eric said:
When you feel like this, make a cup of hot chocolate; add four or five ounces of Fireball; spark up a couple of big, fat, doobies; and relax. The feeling will go away.;)

images


Oh ... and ignore dictionaries ... unless you are confronted by something like "syzygy":confused:
Click to expand...
Ha Richard did get it once in the spelling round of a pub quiz and didn't even make an attempt! Just looked it up, didn't realise it has so many meanings and references - that's Wikipedia for you...
 
MargaretR said:
I am feeling a bit philosophical this evening.

I want your views on 'envy'. Twice recently I have been told 'I envy you' when discussing my accommodation. I feel very uncomfortable on hearing it. I think they were trying to congratulate me, but 'envy' is not an emotion I have experienced and I cannot appreciate why some people do.

If you think I am just polishing my halo, I don't mind you saying so - ;)
Click to expand...

Maybe a better turn of phrase Margaret would have been to say in that instance "they are pleased for you"
I think that has a far more positive meaning.
Envy certainly should be seen as a negative in the majority of cases.
 
DtheP47 said:
Maybe a better turn of phrase Margaret would have been to say in that instance "they are pleased for you"
I think that has a far more positive meaning.
Envy certainly should be seen as a negative in the majority of cases.
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That would have been better ... altho' "envy" is in common use, it does smack of "covet", which, as Kevin would inform us if he were around, is a no-no ... especially when it comes to my neighbour's dishy wife;) ... not to mention his '73 Caprice convertible.:D
 
MargaretR said:
I have just completed 5 days at 30mg per day.
It is reassuring to know that it wasn't a maximum dose.

I might try a low level 'maintenance' dose for a few days more if I feel the need today.

Knowing what you take gives me that confidence - after all you are surviving it ;)
Click to expand...
The thing is I wouldn't survive without Margaret, I'm now classed as steroid dependent and have been for many years. The body creates its own steroids but some people don't produce enough, sadly I'm in that category
 
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