I am alright....

M

Margaret Pilkington

Beacon of light
Overlooker
Today I bumped into a colleague.
This lady knew my mum, but only through meeting her as a patient some 17 years ago.
But she was enchanted by Ma....and always asked about her and her little dog.
She did not know that Ma had died....well, how could she?
There were no announcement of her passing...except on here.
She asked me to tell her what had happened.
I did not go into a lot of detail, but as I was telling the story, she wept....little silent tears crept down her cheeks.
I did not weep....and the only reason I did not was because I know that it was the time for her to go.

She asked me how I was coping....with Christmas coming and all that.
I told her that I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other...that I think of Ma at the start of the day.....through the day, and that she was my last thought before going to sleep.
I told her that I am thankful for having her in my life for so long....and that because I know she was ready to go, these memories and thoughts are a comfort rather than a pain.
I know that she is where she wanted to be....back with her beloved Jimmie.

She wiped her tears and gave me a hug and told me that she felt better knowing that I was 'alright'.
 
I got a lot of of that,when me first wife died and i moved back to accy, yeh did much better than me, couldn't cope wi going through it all again@ again, i booked a ticket and sodded off to ireland to relatives yon for a few weeks.
 
Ma did something similar when Dad died.
She took herself to Oz for six months.
That is OK as a distraction, but you still have to deal with all when you get back.
I think the two situations(yours and mine) might be a bit different.
I had had Ma in my life for 70 years.
In those last two weeks of her life....spending 24/7 with her,
It was plain to see that life had become an intolerable burden.
Nothing much in it gave her pleasure.
You know if you have an animal that is suffering, you can take it to the vet and the suffering will be ended.
While, I am not saying that I would ever do anything to end a human life....you know instinctively(though you might try and deny it) when the end is reached.

I miss her like crazy, but I accept that it was her time to leave.
I DO have moist moments, but in the main I have to say that her essence is still here....not something I can see or touch, but I am who I am because of her...so something of her is still here.

Ooh, that was a bit deep....but I am sure you get my drift Cashy.
 
Certainly ger yer drift and agree yeh still gotta deal wi stuff when yeh get back, but to be honest i did find it a little easier. if yeh know what i mean, which i'm sure yeh do.;)
 
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