I'm so glad........

Margaret Pilkington

Beacon of light
Overlooker
That my blog about 'What is a Friend' has stimulated Jen's interest and provoked a thorough response.
That is one of the things I really like about blogs....it rattles the pebbles of memory in your brain....makes you spit out instances, experiences, or just gets you to look at some mundane, every day thing, that we may so often take for granted.
Jen your take on 'Friends' is very similar to mine, but you go into more detail on why you have come to your conclusions.....so, I guess I must consider myself responsible for making you look at the issue.
No bad thing.....and I love reading your blog.

I just wish more people would blog.......because it may loosen more memories, more thoughts, more experiences for other people to look at, maybe find solutions to issues in their own lives...or maybe just to think....'well, thank goodness that isn't in my life'.

When I was reading your blog Jen, it made me remember meeting a couple in a hotel in Weston Super Mare.
I was on a coach trip with Ma.
Ma being elderly, and in a wheelchair speaks to anyone.....being elderly means that no-one thinks you are chatting them up or trying to steal the man in their life.

On coach trips you very soon develop a group dynamic....some coach trips we have been on, it has been like a very large good natured family outing...on others little cliques form and you are either 'in' with a group or not.....In these situations Ma and I are frequently 'out'......mainly because we don't go down to the bar in the evening...or participate in the social activities of the tour - that is our choice.
On the trip to Weston, the group dynamic was wonderful. There was the jokeynes, the cameraderie that aften takes years to form....everyone got along very well.....all except one couple from Cheshire.
They seemed 'stuck up'.......I think many of the folk on the coach trip thought that this couple felt they were better than the rest of us.
This couple were sat at the next table to us in the dining room, and though we exchanged a greeting of 'Good Morning'...or 'Good Evening' the conversation died there.

It didn't warm as the week progressed......and Ma and I had almost accepted that this was how it was going to be.
There were the usual excursions, and on one of the days Ma was tired and didn't feel like going out.
We went down to the lounge for lunch and there was this couple.....sat looking quite forlorn.

After lunch Ma went back up to the room , but I stayed down in the lounge and struck up a conversation with the lady......her husband was deaf and had not brought his hearing aids with him...so he felt he couldn't converse very well as he couldn't hear.
The lady was suffering some terrible family turmoil....so she felt sad and very down, very much alone.
She had organised the little break to try and get away from her problems, only to find that she carried them with her.

We chatted for the whole of the afternoon, about lots of things, she told me of her worries and then apologised for burdening me with her troubles.....she wasn't stuck up at all, she was just full of turmoil and worry.
I wrote down some contact details for people who might be able to shine some light on what was a very dark period for her and her husband.
Once the holiday was over we all went our separate ways.
I never dreamed that some 12 months later I would bump into the same couple again...at Osborne House........and that I would be greeted like a long lost friend.......and that I would be told that my help and advice had been useful to the family, and that although things were far from alright....there was a glimmer of hope on their horizon.

So, why am I telling you this?
Well, because we do not know what kind of impact even the briefest meeting or conversation may have on a person.....and that fate sometimes puts you where you can do the most good.
Maybe you don't believe in fate....well, the good thing is...you don't have to believe.....things will happen whether you believe in it or not.
 
This blog has invoked many memories for me, as your blogs/posts usually do. You're right about your writings being a thought provoker regards my 'friendship' blog, although also I had recently been through a friendship break up with a long-term friend of mine, which made me think about friendship more. :)
It's funny, as soon as I got to the part in this where you write 'All except one couple' I knew where you were going with it.I don't know if that's down to experiences I have had before-I do recall an incident I heard a while ago where a man was punched in a nightclub-the attacker had called him names implying he was a poser, or show-off because he was wearing dark glasses. It was revealed that he had retina damage after a recent accident, and the nightclub lights would have damaged his eyes further. That scenario is obviously much more simplistic but similar-there's sometimes a lot more going on than the first conclusion we would come to.
I try to question rather than assume, but I have made mistakes-all a learning curve :)
I think I will write another blog soon -mini blogs in response to yours do not count, do they :)
 
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