Lament......

[lettie]

A horrible week has passed...... Been so busy, bed shortages, no meal breaks and short tempers. I'm glad to be off for a couple of days.

Had a sleepless night last night following the tragic death of a very premature baby. We were all so upset trying to support the parents and each other. When babies are born so extremely premature that their eyes are still fused together it is fruitless trying to attempt resuscitation. I feel that it is a blessing just to wrap them up and let them die in the arms of their parents with a little dignity. No needles, no tubes and no drugs to try and support their little bodies.

You see at 24 weeks, although considered viable, babies have only a very small chance of survival. Our baby was a couple of days less than that. If by some miracle he had lived, he would have had a lifetime of disability, medical care, and would have been lucky to have seen the outside of a hospital let alone been able to play out.

It is so hard for the parents to understand. They just want their baby to live and be healthy. My heart goes out to them and also to my colleague who did such a brilliant job of supporting them.

All in all a terrible week. It's no wonder that when people say to me "Aaah, what a lovely job you have!" I want to slap them.
Instead I just smile and say "yes, it is."

 

[Margaret Pilkington]

I am sure that the parents who lost their baby, will, in time realise all the things you talked about......it is just such a miserable time when they have been looking forward to having a new baby, to have to cope with the loss. I am also sure that your team did a supreme job in giving them support.......and in years to come they will remember that too. Your job has its ups but it also has its downs too.....not many folk realise that unless they have lost a baby.

 

[WillowTheWhisp]

I totally understand what you are saying Lettie. Not long ago we watched a TV program about children who had been born prematurely and in a lot of cases the parents said that the child's life had been an existence rather than a life and that it would probably have been kinder for them not to have survived. It was terrible to see all the awful disabilities both mental and physical which they had to endure. There are times for medical expertise to interfere with nature and there are times when nature should be left alone and I think this is definitely one of them.

It must be awful for the parents and difficult for the medical staff trying to help them to cope with it. I can relate to this especially just now as whilst we were away a friend had to go through the process of giving birth to her 7 month baby which had died. There is absolutely nothing I feel capable of saying. To lose a baby is a devastating experience but I cannot imagine what it can be like to actually go through the birth knowing that at the end of it there will be no living baby to hold.

I'm sure you must have many tragic experiences in your job along with the joyful ones and it must be very difficult to deal with them.