I did say at the beginning of these entries that my life changed as a result of this period of my life. In a sick kind of way it was the making of me....
I remember being bullied at school once and sticking up for myself. The bully never came near me again. I was only in the flat with Mark for 7 months, it felt like a lot longer at the time, but during that time I lost all sense of self, temporarily of course.. It was Andrea who reminded me of who I used to be and her encouragement made me see that I could get away, with very little repercussion...
I eventually told everyone I knew about what had happened. Bullies like Mark rely on you being too frightened to tell anybody and will always try to isolate you from friends and family and make you think that you deserve a beating and it's your fault. I found that by telling people it not only made me stronger but it weakened him. My old school girl self made a reappearance and I have never put up with being bullied since.
Although this was a horrible time, I came out of it realising how strong I could be. It gave me the determination to achieve my goals and be independent. It did leave me very distrustful of men for a long time. I didn't so much as have a date for over 4 years. When I did start going on dates again sometimes things that the fella said or behaviour he exhibited would have my mind screaming 'GET OUT' and he would find himself dumped...
Some of these effects have remained with me to this day, but they are positive things. I am still a strong person and still have that determination to succeed. I will not put up with any form of abuse whether it be physical, financial, verbal or emotional blackmail. If someone says to me "if you loved me you'd............" They get told to bugger off and I don't ever give in. I have a terrible stubborn streak.
I have helped other people to get through this. A colleague once asked me to relate my story to one of our students, so I did..... She got out too and now works tirelessly to help other people in the same situation. It is possible to build a new life, even if there are children involved and you have no money. In fact, it is a damn sight easier now because the police take this very seriously and there are voluntary organisations to help. There was nothing when I did it.....
I have to admit that it has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster writing about this in my blog. After all, it was 20 years ago and is something that I rarely think about. I do beileve that this changed my life for the better and made me who I am today. As for Mark, one of his old friends informs me that he is still one of life's losers and will never be anything more than that. His pregnant girlfriend gave birth and then got out..... I have seen her since, and she does remember me..
I do remind myself that although this was a horrible time, I came out of it much better off....
I remember being bullied at school once and sticking up for myself. The bully never came near me again. I was only in the flat with Mark for 7 months, it felt like a lot longer at the time, but during that time I lost all sense of self, temporarily of course.. It was Andrea who reminded me of who I used to be and her encouragement made me see that I could get away, with very little repercussion...
I eventually told everyone I knew about what had happened. Bullies like Mark rely on you being too frightened to tell anybody and will always try to isolate you from friends and family and make you think that you deserve a beating and it's your fault. I found that by telling people it not only made me stronger but it weakened him. My old school girl self made a reappearance and I have never put up with being bullied since.
Although this was a horrible time, I came out of it realising how strong I could be. It gave me the determination to achieve my goals and be independent. It did leave me very distrustful of men for a long time. I didn't so much as have a date for over 4 years. When I did start going on dates again sometimes things that the fella said or behaviour he exhibited would have my mind screaming 'GET OUT' and he would find himself dumped...
Some of these effects have remained with me to this day, but they are positive things. I am still a strong person and still have that determination to succeed. I will not put up with any form of abuse whether it be physical, financial, verbal or emotional blackmail. If someone says to me "if you loved me you'd............" They get told to bugger off and I don't ever give in. I have a terrible stubborn streak.
I have helped other people to get through this. A colleague once asked me to relate my story to one of our students, so I did..... She got out too and now works tirelessly to help other people in the same situation. It is possible to build a new life, even if there are children involved and you have no money. In fact, it is a damn sight easier now because the police take this very seriously and there are voluntary organisations to help. There was nothing when I did it.....
I have to admit that it has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster writing about this in my blog. After all, it was 20 years ago and is something that I rarely think about. I do beileve that this changed my life for the better and made me who I am today. As for Mark, one of his old friends informs me that he is still one of life's losers and will never be anything more than that. His pregnant girlfriend gave birth and then got out..... I have seen her since, and she does remember me..
I do remind myself that although this was a horrible time, I came out of it much better off....
