Reading Margaret and Shillelagh’s articles about their births reminded me of when my first child was born. My husband had always said that when HIS first one was about to be born we would have a police escort to the hospital, all sirens blazing, etc., etc., to let the world know of the brilliant event that was about to happen. Would have probably organised for three wise men and a few shepherds, along with a shining star, to be there also if he could. However, the best laid plans and all that….
My official due date was 2 weeks away but on the Saturday I started to have backache and felt very uncomfortable. Maybe the fact that two days before I had been on my hands and knees with an electric sander sanding wooden floorboards hadn’t helped much. The man of the house had a job that he was committed to do over the weekend near where we lived so just to be on the safe side decided I should go and stay with his mother while he was doing this work. The fact that she lived further away still from the hospital didn’t seem to ring a bell. However, as it was my first child and I was a bit apprehensive I went along with this plan and as he was going to have to work on Sunday morning as well we decided we would stay there overnight.
By very early evening I was feeling very unwell indeed, with lots of nagging pains, so I suggested to him that we go to the hospital there and then as it was quite some miles away. I looked out of the window and said ‘where’s the car?’ to which my darling said ‘oh! I lent it to the boys (his brothers) to go to the drive-in – they won’t be back until after midnight’. OMG, I thought, I’m married to an idiot! If I hadn’t been feeling so unwell I might have performed some serious harm to him at that moment. He said he would borrow his dad’s car but as another brother had already taken this we were up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
‘No worries’ said ma-in-law, ‘I’ll ask Johnny next door if he’ll take you’. Johnny was most obliging and got out his (old) car which he had been doing some work on, being a sort of backyard mechanic. He said ‘just hang on a minute, I have to put the back seat in again’. Oops! When this was done I lowered myself onto it, thought it was very low, and he then he informed me that he had taken the springs out! Off we set, the roads in those days were not that great and I reckon that every bump he could find he managed to hit. As my backside was almost at ground level I felt every one of them.
On the way he said he could only take it slowly otherwise the engine was likely to boil over. Oh! joy…..as even at normal speed it would have taken about an hour to get there.
When we eventually arrived at the hospital the sister examined me and said I was just starting to go into labour, very early stages, and for the expectant father to go back home and phone in the morning, as nothing was likely to happen during the night. This was in the days when fathers-to-be were considered to be in the way in labour wards, they had done their bit initially and were no longer required. Were in fact quite obsolete.
However, my first-born decided to make an earlier appearance than they had predicted and arrived during the night. It was quite a difficult birth – won’t go into details but suffice to say after the doctor had finished his embroidery I uttered those famous words that are heard in maternity hospitals everywhere ‘never again’. This by the way turned out to be untrue as during the following 17 years I had 4 more. Just call me a glutton for punishment.
Meanwhile, back at the village, hubby had gone to work Sunday, said he would go home and ring during the morning when he had finished the job (no phone at ma’s).
Later that morning ma-in-law just happened to see her other neighbour walking by, going to the shop for his paper, and as there was a phone-box at the shops asked him would he mind ringing the hospital while he was there just to see how things were progressing. He did and the sister, assuming he was the man himself, (as you would – after all in most cases it is the father who is the most anxious) said ‘congratulations, you have a son’.
The news was then conveyed to my in-laws and one of ‘the lads’ drove down to tell the new father the good news, so not only was there no police escort but he was the last to know.
As for the wise men – they must have got lost along the way as I’m still waiting to meet three!!!!!
My official due date was 2 weeks away but on the Saturday I started to have backache and felt very uncomfortable. Maybe the fact that two days before I had been on my hands and knees with an electric sander sanding wooden floorboards hadn’t helped much. The man of the house had a job that he was committed to do over the weekend near where we lived so just to be on the safe side decided I should go and stay with his mother while he was doing this work. The fact that she lived further away still from the hospital didn’t seem to ring a bell. However, as it was my first child and I was a bit apprehensive I went along with this plan and as he was going to have to work on Sunday morning as well we decided we would stay there overnight.
By very early evening I was feeling very unwell indeed, with lots of nagging pains, so I suggested to him that we go to the hospital there and then as it was quite some miles away. I looked out of the window and said ‘where’s the car?’ to which my darling said ‘oh! I lent it to the boys (his brothers) to go to the drive-in – they won’t be back until after midnight’. OMG, I thought, I’m married to an idiot! If I hadn’t been feeling so unwell I might have performed some serious harm to him at that moment. He said he would borrow his dad’s car but as another brother had already taken this we were up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
‘No worries’ said ma-in-law, ‘I’ll ask Johnny next door if he’ll take you’. Johnny was most obliging and got out his (old) car which he had been doing some work on, being a sort of backyard mechanic. He said ‘just hang on a minute, I have to put the back seat in again’. Oops! When this was done I lowered myself onto it, thought it was very low, and he then he informed me that he had taken the springs out! Off we set, the roads in those days were not that great and I reckon that every bump he could find he managed to hit. As my backside was almost at ground level I felt every one of them.
On the way he said he could only take it slowly otherwise the engine was likely to boil over. Oh! joy…..as even at normal speed it would have taken about an hour to get there.
When we eventually arrived at the hospital the sister examined me and said I was just starting to go into labour, very early stages, and for the expectant father to go back home and phone in the morning, as nothing was likely to happen during the night. This was in the days when fathers-to-be were considered to be in the way in labour wards, they had done their bit initially and were no longer required. Were in fact quite obsolete.
However, my first-born decided to make an earlier appearance than they had predicted and arrived during the night. It was quite a difficult birth – won’t go into details but suffice to say after the doctor had finished his embroidery I uttered those famous words that are heard in maternity hospitals everywhere ‘never again’. This by the way turned out to be untrue as during the following 17 years I had 4 more. Just call me a glutton for punishment.
Meanwhile, back at the village, hubby had gone to work Sunday, said he would go home and ring during the morning when he had finished the job (no phone at ma’s).
Later that morning ma-in-law just happened to see her other neighbour walking by, going to the shop for his paper, and as there was a phone-box at the shops asked him would he mind ringing the hospital while he was there just to see how things were progressing. He did and the sister, assuming he was the man himself, (as you would – after all in most cases it is the father who is the most anxious) said ‘congratulations, you have a son’.
The news was then conveyed to my in-laws and one of ‘the lads’ drove down to tell the new father the good news, so not only was there no police escort but he was the last to know.
As for the wise men – they must have got lost along the way as I’m still waiting to meet three!!!!!

