Feel much happier today. Even slept six hours! Perhaps a normal nights sleep will make me normal? I do hope so [not!]
I can't promise not to moan again in here, and use this blog as my diary, because that's what it is. But after the wake up call, that has been the last few days and the messsages l've received, it's made me realise l have got a lot to be grateful for and must get on with it.
I think one of the problems is the lack of structure in my life. There was always school/college/work to give me less time to dwell on things. l will find something to do, hopefully were l can help somebody else and stop being so self absorbed, and less time to obsess about the trivial fun things, that became too unhealthily important to me.
I used to take part in a buddying scheme in the early nineties, helping people cope living with HIV. I will find something to do so l feel my life makes a difference again. Hopefully something that will allow some freedom, so if l'm not too well l don't think l'm letting people down.
Just typing the last sentence as made me realise it's the not being in control of my life that's been bugging me.
Well Rindy you big assed git, yer a big lad now, and if you have any fibre about you at all you better take control of your life.
You are 40, and this ain't no dress rehearsal, even if you do like raiding the fancy dress box. Put that feather boa down, and go and do something about it.
I can't promise not to moan again in here, and use this blog as my diary, because that's what it is. But after the wake up call, that has been the last few days and the messsages l've received, it's made me realise l have got a lot to be grateful for and must get on with it.
I think one of the problems is the lack of structure in my life. There was always school/college/work to give me less time to dwell on things. l will find something to do, hopefully were l can help somebody else and stop being so self absorbed, and less time to obsess about the trivial fun things, that became too unhealthily important to me.
I used to take part in a buddying scheme in the early nineties, helping people cope living with HIV. I will find something to do so l feel my life makes a difference again. Hopefully something that will allow some freedom, so if l'm not too well l don't think l'm letting people down.
Just typing the last sentence as made me realise it's the not being in control of my life that's been bugging me.
Well Rindy you big assed git, yer a big lad now, and if you have any fibre about you at all you better take control of your life.
You are 40, and this ain't no dress rehearsal, even if you do like raiding the fancy dress box. Put that feather boa down, and go and do something about it.