I thought that having written the script for the eulogy, I might not get wakened at 4am with thoughts stamping through my brain...
No, I am deluding myself.
Right on cue, bang on the dot of 4....my brain was teased and tormented with thoughts.
The conversation I had had with the celebrant...about the things that Ma would have been most proud of.
I could not answer that one.
In a life of ninety years, I think if Ma had been asked to choose, she might have been left scratching her head.
I kept going over the eulogy in my head....had I mentioned the right things....had I made it about Ma....or was it about those left behind??
Did I give the flavour of the person she was?
This is not something I have done before...or for that matter ever wanted to do.
Would I do it right?
Or would I dissolve into a soggy mess?o soggy that they would have to throw me a life belt?
These were the thoughts tormenting me.
Obviously, I do not know the answers....only time will tell.
I just do not want to let the family down(and in my heart I know that I won’t because those who are watching on the day will very likely be heaving a huge sigh of relief that they are not the one doing this...and believe me if I could have dodged any of it.....well, no....I don’t suppose I would.
I am no quitter.
No, I am deluding myself.
Right on cue, bang on the dot of 4....my brain was teased and tormented with thoughts.
The conversation I had had with the celebrant...about the things that Ma would have been most proud of.
I could not answer that one.
In a life of ninety years, I think if Ma had been asked to choose, she might have been left scratching her head.
I kept going over the eulogy in my head....had I mentioned the right things....had I made it about Ma....or was it about those left behind??
Did I give the flavour of the person she was?
This is not something I have done before...or for that matter ever wanted to do.
Would I do it right?
Or would I dissolve into a soggy mess?o soggy that they would have to throw me a life belt?
These were the thoughts tormenting me.
Obviously, I do not know the answers....only time will tell.
I just do not want to let the family down(and in my heart I know that I won’t because those who are watching on the day will very likely be heaving a huge sigh of relief that they are not the one doing this...and believe me if I could have dodged any of it.....well, no....I don’t suppose I would.
I am no quitter.