parents
- Thread starter emamum
- Start date
If grandmother knows the sort of diet your son has she is doing one of two things. She is either trying to win in some kind of affection contest or she thinks your ideas are wrong. It's probably the first one - he doesn't come very often so, when he does, I'll treat him to things he doesn't usually get so he'll want to come again.
The woman is a chef so, presumably, she knows about nutrition and she knows that every now and then won't harm. It's not the way I would do things but - it happens.
The woman is a chef so, presumably, she knows about nutrition and she knows that every now and then won't harm. It's not the way I would do things but - it happens.
Perhaps if you consider, going to grandma's as a treat, a place where anything goes?
Yeah o.k. you're mum isn't as strict as you would be, then your child will be able to enjoy both of you? Rather than see you arguing over something that you dismiss, but your Mother enjoy's?
Yeah o.k. you're mum isn't as strict as you would be, then your child will be able to enjoy both of you? Rather than see you arguing over something that you dismiss, but your Mother enjoy's?
my mum has been a chef for years but i lived off microwave meals, knowing my mum, it is to get one up an me, nothing about affection.. she hardly ever bothers with us, she only had him the other night so that she could tell ppl that she has him because i cant cope...... that is what she tells ppl, because they tell me.
So really, this goes deeper than, 'what mum gives my kids', You feel like mummy let you down, and you can't trust her with your little produce?
Some of those sweeteners can have more side effects than sugar. My late husband (who was diabetic) was warned off diet drinks by a hospital specialist.
Do you give your son a birthday cake when its his birthday? They're full of artificial sweeteners, sugar, colourings etc, but I cant imagine you are going to tell me you give him a plain cake for his birthday?
Fish fingers aren't going to hurt him, and neither is a glass of coke. Its bad of your mother to undermine you, but perhaps she thinks you're being a bit too strict about what he eats and drinks? Did you not eat that kind of food when you where younger?
One thing parents do i've noticed, in my experience at least, is to not buy things for their children to try simply because they dont like the food themselves
my mum doesnt like cheesecake, so we never buy cheesecake, point is, you need to avoid imposing your choices onto your children, because they wont learn how to make choices for themselves properly, they'll always turn to you, or worse, when they get to an age where you cant watch their every move they'll try things that they know you wouldn't allow and rebel against you, which can be disastrous.
Your little boy is clearly following your example and upholding the rule of no fizzy drinks, but is he simply following it because its your choice or because its his choice?
Fish fingers aren't going to hurt him, and neither is a glass of coke. Its bad of your mother to undermine you, but perhaps she thinks you're being a bit too strict about what he eats and drinks? Did you not eat that kind of food when you where younger?
One thing parents do i've noticed, in my experience at least, is to not buy things for their children to try simply because they dont like the food themselves
my mum doesnt like cheesecake, so we never buy cheesecake, point is, you need to avoid imposing your choices onto your children, because they wont learn how to make choices for themselves properly, they'll always turn to you, or worse, when they get to an age where you cant watch their every move they'll try things that they know you wouldn't allow and rebel against you, which can be disastrous. Your little boy is clearly following your example and upholding the rule of no fizzy drinks, but is he simply following it because its your choice or because its his choice?
that is all i ate when i was younger and i was always in and out of hospital...
unhealthy food is obviously bad for you and i am trying to give my child the best start... if you had met my son and seen how energetic he is then you would understand why he doesnt have sugar!!! i breast fed because it is best, i cooked and blended his food when he was weaning instead of using commercial baby food and i cook for him now.. because i am his mum and it is my job to do my best for my child.. he is the right weight for his height, the right height for his age and his teeth are perfect..because i have looked after his health.. he knows and understands why he cant eat rubbish all the time, he counts his 5 a day and he knows the difference between healthy and unhealthy, because i have taught him so that when he is old enough to make his own decisions, he will understand the health implications of eating crap! he does have choices but they are limited, he is still only 6 and he refused the coke because he is not alowed it and he never has been, because they are my rules. i didnt decide these things because i had nothing better to do one day, i did it because i want the best for my son, i have a qualification in diet and nutrition for children, so i DO (for a change) know what i am talking about!
unhealthy food is obviously bad for you and i am trying to give my child the best start... if you had met my son and seen how energetic he is then you would understand why he doesnt have sugar!!! i breast fed because it is best, i cooked and blended his food when he was weaning instead of using commercial baby food and i cook for him now.. because i am his mum and it is my job to do my best for my child.. he is the right weight for his height, the right height for his age and his teeth are perfect..because i have looked after his health.. he knows and understands why he cant eat rubbish all the time, he counts his 5 a day and he knows the difference between healthy and unhealthy, because i have taught him so that when he is old enough to make his own decisions, he will understand the health implications of eating crap! he does have choices but they are limited, he is still only 6 and he refused the coke because he is not alowed it and he never has been, because they are my rules. i didnt decide these things because i had nothing better to do one day, i did it because i want the best for my son, i have a qualification in diet and nutrition for children, so i DO (for a change) know what i am talking about!
At the end of the day it is Em's choice and as I said before she knows him better than anyone. If she knows what makes him hyper she has obviously done the process and elimination thing. Her mum should back her up all the way as the grandparents on here have said they would!!!
You don't have to let him stay with your mum, do you? Knowing what she will do and say, and still letting him stay with her, is saying that it's OK as long as you can tell everyone she's wrong afterwards. She says she has him because you can't cope, you say you can. Just say, "No thanks," next time.
I think you should try not to let it get to you, simply for the sake of the relationship you all have together. I'm sure your boy will pick up on the tension between you both and it isnt really necessary.
Simply tell her you want her to enforce your rules whilst he is with you, and if she doesn't, just try not to let it jeopardise your relationship with her.
Simply tell her you want her to enforce your rules whilst he is with you, and if she doesn't, just try not to let it jeopardise your relationship with her.
But you do, otherwise she wouldn't be in the equation. You don't like the way she is but you haven't cut her out of your life, or your son's.
It may annoy you that your mum didn't bring you up the way you wished you had, but you've turned out alright and you've got a beautiful little boy who's clearly going to grow up into a lovely young man.
I know you probably think that your the way you are to be better than your mum, to prove her wrong and to be everything she wasnt, but I think that its likely you have become who you are because of those perhaps negative aspects of her parenthood, and you should perhaps be a bit more thankful that she was a bit rubbish
I know that sounds a bit silly, but sometimes its being treated like your in the real world rather than an all too friendly one that helps children turn out to be better people in their adult lives.
Well I never knew my real dad, and I was bitter about having to be brought up by a man who blatantly wasn't my real dad and hated me, and I was bitter about it and I still am bitter about both those people, but at the end of the day, their failures as parents made me wants to be better than them and prove them wrong, and I feel I have done, I knew I would do, and its made me who I am today.
I know exactly how you feel, not in the sense of mothers, mines been brilliant, but in the sense of fathers, i've pretty much been let down time and time again, but I'm not going to pretend that its had no effect on me and the person i've become.
I know exactly how you feel, not in the sense of mothers, mines been brilliant, but in the sense of fathers, i've pretty much been let down time and time again, but I'm not going to pretend that its had no effect on me and the person i've become.
You said yourself that you believe your regular illnesses and hospital visits were most likely increased by the bad diet your mum fed you, would you not say that you have become the parent you are today mainly because of that experience?
You didnt say your other mum fed you on entirely home made foods rather than processed foods which led to good health, you only mentioned your mums flaws and what discomforts they caused you, and therefore you are modelling yourself around everything she wasn't, and everything you felt she did wrong?