Pets

dotti34

Nori Brick
Tackler
Some people go crazy over their pets and I know that most pets bring a lot to the lives of their owners. However, of all the pets a person could choose to have in their lives I wonder which pet is the most useless. My husband used to say that cats were the most useless creature ever put on earth but I tend to disagree, and I guess cat-owners would disagree also. In my opinion goldfish earn that title. What do they do all day. Swim round and round and get nowhere.

I have a pond in the back garden where two of these live. I think maybe they are crossed with piranhas as they just about jump out of the water with mouths wide open when it’s feeding time. They must sense that I’m there because as soon as I get to the side of the pond they come racing to the surface.

I feed them every day so probably giving them too much but they devour it all.

Once upon a time we did have about 18 and it was like a maternity hospital for fish. They kept coming and coming seemingly appearing from nowhere. Sadly one day while we were out a blue heron came uninvited for dinner – probably brought some friends, and when we returned home the pond had been depleted and the fish dish must have been the main course.

We came to the conclusion the heron was the culprit because we had seen one hovering around the yard a couple of days before. Must have been casing the place before inviting his/her friends along.

It was AFTER this had happened (and isn’t it always after the horse has bolted) and when we started all over again that my other half made a wire covering to fit over the pond to keep the uninvited away.

Since then over the years goldfish have been bought and goldfish have gone to that place where goldfish go when their expiration day has dawned (i.e. some have been interred in suitable containers and with great ceremony, while others have been flushed with success depending on who was there at the time). I am now down to two again. When these are no longer around I think I’ll fill in the pond and grow some pretty flowers instead as it’s hard work keeping it all clean.

Back to my original thought. Really and truly just what do goldfish do all day – absolutely nothing! You can’t cuddle them or take them for a walk. You can’t teach them tricks to amuse your friends. I do talk to them but they ignore me. Mind you that happens to me a lot these days even with humans – talking to them and being ignored.

Oh, dear! sad news. How strange that I should be writing about them as I just went out to give the goldfish their daily flakes and found one of them floating lifeless on the water. I realised by looking at the swollen body that it was well past CPR and so I scooped it out of the pond very carefully and dug a hole in the garden. With a respectful gesture I dropped it in, laid it straight and covered it over with soil.

I could have given it the royal flush but I thought it deserved better. I didn’t actually say a few words but I spared a thought for the little fish, its swimming days now over. I felt sad. The other one seems to have disappeared and is in hiding, maybe grieving. Do goldfish grieve I wonder.

I’m not really a heartless person but somehow I think I will be looking at seeds in the very near future.
 
I think the second most useless pets would have to be tortoises.
They are ugly, they are not lovable, they do not show any affection to their owners...or even seem to recognise their owners....in my estimation they are little more than animated stones.
 
Now that is just Testudinoideaist Ma! ;) Mind you I think the name covers the very first interactions between man & beast.

What's that over there Testudi?

Testudi "No idea!" :D

Thangyu, Thangyu Folks, I'm here all Dinnertime! :thankya:
 
I had a tortoise when I was a little girl, Margaret. It used to hibernate for half the year. Went under a sideboard. One year it didn't waken up no matter what we did and my mother decided it had gone to tortoise heaven. Not having any garden as such to bury it in she wrapped it in paper and put it in the rubbish bin. Some time later we heard about how a cricket match on the local green, which wasn't far from the rubbish tip, had had to be stopped for some time while a tortoise slowly made its way across the pitch.....I like to think that this was my little creature and it was 'not out'. (Sorry, couldn't help myself).
 
Dave, I was trying to think of some witty remark to follow-up on your very funny comment but it's late here and my mind is as slow-moving as some members of the testudinidae family, so I'll shuffle off to bed instead.
 
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thing is dolly when kids we each had a cat, and around 11-00 night mine used to miaow to go out. my mam always let it go, it used to go to either the St.Johns, Great Eastern, Syndney st cLUB,OR the Royal Oak, all these my dad played dominoes for, it would go to wherever he was playing that night and sit on the doorstop and walk home with him, ever since then i have always said, whoever calls them dumb animals aint that bright themselves imho, all those pubs were in a different route,how the hell it knew i will never know.the club it had to cross burnley rd to get there.
 
Cashy, when I was a little girl I had a cat that knew when I would be coming home from school and would walk to the end of the lane and sit there waiting for me. Although come to think of it, it didn't do much else. Maybe the odd mouse or two.
 
Incidentally, I can't find the other goldfish. The water has become discoloured through the heat (or something) so I can't see what's in there, and the one remaining fish isn't coming up for food. Today I will carefully empty the pond and who knows what I will find. The dead goldfish WAS very fat.....oops!
 
Update. Since writing the last comment my son has emptied the pond for me and sure enough we found the other fish. Sadly it had departed this world. Now buried and has gone to goldfish heaven or wherever dead goldfish go. Not sure what happened as these two have lived in that pond for a long time.
 
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