poets corner
- Thread starter ellie
- Start date
Santa's Poem
T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was p*ssed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season!!
T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was p*ssed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment
There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.. I'm going SOUTH for the season!!
Why Computers Sometimes Crash by Dr Seuss
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM
and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM
and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
There was a young lady at sea,
Who said "Gosh, how it hurts me to pee."
"I see," said the mate,
"That accounts for the state,
Of the Captain, the purser, and me."
Who said "Gosh, how it hurts me to pee."
"I see," said the mate,
"That accounts for the state,
Of the Captain, the purser, and me."
A seasonal poem 
He laid her on the table,
So clean, so white, so bare.
His forehead wet, with beads of sweat,
He touched her here and there.
He touched her neck, and then her breast;
Then drooling, felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide, he looked inside,
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms,
And then he stuffed the turkey!
May I be the first to wish you all a Merry Christmas, you mucky minded .........
I would like to thank my usual source for that literary gem.
He laid her on the table,
So clean, so white, so bare.
His forehead wet, with beads of sweat,
He touched her here and there.
He touched her neck, and then her breast;
Then drooling, felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide, he looked inside,
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms,
And then he stuffed the turkey!
May I be the first to wish you all a Merry Christmas, you mucky minded .........
I would like to thank my usual source for that literary gem.