Stars...we talk about them...back in the day it used to be film stars...now it is TV stars, Football stars, Celebrities who think they are stars...act like they are stars...requiring...no expecting adulation.
Real stars...those you can see in the night sky...they are something different altogether.
Their light shines down on us even though by the time it reaches us the star may have disappeared..burned itself out.
Ancient mariners used these celestial bodies to navigate their way home through dark waters...they were the constant in the sky unwavering.
I bet you are wondering where I am going with this blog.
Well, I was thinking about things..life in general, the incidents and accidents of life...the people we meet....those who guide us, who light our way through the uncharted waters of life.
Those who show us a way forward on a stony and lonely path.
Recently another forum member ,Restless,(Rob) spoke of his journey through grief...and his star found him...rather than him finding the star.
He is in no doubt at all that she is his guiding light.
I am speaking, too, of my experiences.
When you lose someone you love, you enter the darkest of places and it is only then that you look up to see how you can navigate your way through the dark times.
Sometimes you can rely on those close to you to provide the light, but frequently when grief is shared, they too need a light to help them see their way forward.
My navigational stars turned out to be the people at Liverpool University.....the Human Anatomy Resource Centre...Or as they became known to me as HARC.
Their light shone the brightest when they took Ma's old and well used overcoat..her body.
This was a relief to me as no-one else seemed to want it...and I did so want to follow Ma's wishes.
I had been told at about the age of nine or ten, that this was what she was going to do.
I can remember back then feeling that this was gruesome, in fact I thought it was just horrible.
But I was just a little girl and thought that I need not think about it as it was sometime(hopefully a long time) in the future...
And that maybe Ma would change her mind(as if)....it was a long time in the future...it was sixty years away.
Periodically Ma would allude to it...and by this time I was nursing and the idea did not seem so strange, worrying or distasteful...it actually made sense.
Letting go of Ma was not easy, but it was easier because I could see her hold on life was light...that it held only trials and very little enjoyment.
So that when she did go my grief was a quiet thing...but grief nevertheless.
So Liverpool were my lifebelt.....and their staff were just so supportive...they were professional, but friendly and they knew how difficult it was to talk about our loved ones...their name for them is not donors...they call them the 'silent teachers'.
When they had finished using Ma's overcoat...they contacted us to arrange a funeral.
This filled my sister Nessa with despair.....it was March 2019...she could not take time away from work to come over for the funeral and the thanksgiving service.
She contacted Liverpool and explained that she really wanted to come over, but had used up her holidays and her finances too in coming over and spending a month here when Ma died.
Claire(Crumbs - to us....her nickname) said that they would keep her and use her for another batch of students...so that is what they did.
Earlier in the year it was mooted that the funeral would be in November...and the Thanksgiving would be the same week....and Nessa had organised herself to come over.
we were going to have the funeral on the Monday...the Thanksgiving on the Wednesday and then Nessa woudl fly out to Spain with Ma's ashes on the Saturday.
We were going to have the funeral, spend a couple of Days in Liverpool seeing the sights having nice meals out and reminiscing about Ma and having some laughs but with her at our heart...it was to be a memorable way of celebrating her life and the wonderful gifts she gave us.
It was all planned...and although it would be a sad time we would make it something that we had shared....and we knew that she would thoroughly approve of this send off.
Ha Ha Ha Ha ha.....that is not me laughing...it is fate.
Fate has a nasty streak and it had other ideas.
All this lockdown stuff stepped in and we did not know if there would be a Thanksgiving or a funeral or what format any of this would take...everything was up in the air.
The funeral happened last Monday....and went better than I could ever have hoped.
I wrote and spoke th eulogy...and without needing a lifebelt or a life guard.
This something I could never have done if Ma had not donated her body...the time span between her death and this funeral was my saviour here.
The Thanksgiving was on Wednesady...by zoom....and it was just so wonderful...we got to see the people who have been the driving force behind the work that goes on at the University and it was a revelation.
None of them looked old enough to do a paper round...and yet some of these people had been doing this job for two decades.
The names of the Silent Teachers' were read out, their pctures were shown and candles were lit in their memory
.
The students spoke of their respect for their silent teachers and what a difference they had made on their lives....they also remarked on how our loved relatives would make a difference to the lives of others in generations as yet unborn....in my estimation, it is these people, who are the true stars, because they provided us with a light in our darkness.
They will also go on and teach others what they know....so their light will go on and on long after they are no longer here....much like those who gifted their bodies for medical research.
So now when I look up at the stars I will think of all those who made that gift...I will see their light shining and I will send them a little silent Thank you.
PS...I am not a mushy person, but this blog has been written by my heart.
Real stars...those you can see in the night sky...they are something different altogether.
Their light shines down on us even though by the time it reaches us the star may have disappeared..burned itself out.
Ancient mariners used these celestial bodies to navigate their way home through dark waters...they were the constant in the sky unwavering.
I bet you are wondering where I am going with this blog.
Well, I was thinking about things..life in general, the incidents and accidents of life...the people we meet....those who guide us, who light our way through the uncharted waters of life.
Those who show us a way forward on a stony and lonely path.
Recently another forum member ,Restless,(Rob) spoke of his journey through grief...and his star found him...rather than him finding the star.
He is in no doubt at all that she is his guiding light.
I am speaking, too, of my experiences.
When you lose someone you love, you enter the darkest of places and it is only then that you look up to see how you can navigate your way through the dark times.
Sometimes you can rely on those close to you to provide the light, but frequently when grief is shared, they too need a light to help them see their way forward.
My navigational stars turned out to be the people at Liverpool University.....the Human Anatomy Resource Centre...Or as they became known to me as HARC.
Their light shone the brightest when they took Ma's old and well used overcoat..her body.
This was a relief to me as no-one else seemed to want it...and I did so want to follow Ma's wishes.
I had been told at about the age of nine or ten, that this was what she was going to do.
I can remember back then feeling that this was gruesome, in fact I thought it was just horrible.
But I was just a little girl and thought that I need not think about it as it was sometime(hopefully a long time) in the future...
And that maybe Ma would change her mind(as if)....it was a long time in the future...it was sixty years away.
Periodically Ma would allude to it...and by this time I was nursing and the idea did not seem so strange, worrying or distasteful...it actually made sense.
Letting go of Ma was not easy, but it was easier because I could see her hold on life was light...that it held only trials and very little enjoyment.
So that when she did go my grief was a quiet thing...but grief nevertheless.
So Liverpool were my lifebelt.....and their staff were just so supportive...they were professional, but friendly and they knew how difficult it was to talk about our loved ones...their name for them is not donors...they call them the 'silent teachers'.
When they had finished using Ma's overcoat...they contacted us to arrange a funeral.
This filled my sister Nessa with despair.....it was March 2019...she could not take time away from work to come over for the funeral and the thanksgiving service.
She contacted Liverpool and explained that she really wanted to come over, but had used up her holidays and her finances too in coming over and spending a month here when Ma died.
Claire(Crumbs - to us....her nickname) said that they would keep her and use her for another batch of students...so that is what they did.
Earlier in the year it was mooted that the funeral would be in November...and the Thanksgiving would be the same week....and Nessa had organised herself to come over.
we were going to have the funeral on the Monday...the Thanksgiving on the Wednesday and then Nessa woudl fly out to Spain with Ma's ashes on the Saturday.
We were going to have the funeral, spend a couple of Days in Liverpool seeing the sights having nice meals out and reminiscing about Ma and having some laughs but with her at our heart...it was to be a memorable way of celebrating her life and the wonderful gifts she gave us.
It was all planned...and although it would be a sad time we would make it something that we had shared....and we knew that she would thoroughly approve of this send off.
Ha Ha Ha Ha ha.....that is not me laughing...it is fate.
Fate has a nasty streak and it had other ideas.
All this lockdown stuff stepped in and we did not know if there would be a Thanksgiving or a funeral or what format any of this would take...everything was up in the air.
The funeral happened last Monday....and went better than I could ever have hoped.
I wrote and spoke th eulogy...and without needing a lifebelt or a life guard.
This something I could never have done if Ma had not donated her body...the time span between her death and this funeral was my saviour here.
The Thanksgiving was on Wednesady...by zoom....and it was just so wonderful...we got to see the people who have been the driving force behind the work that goes on at the University and it was a revelation.
None of them looked old enough to do a paper round...and yet some of these people had been doing this job for two decades.
The names of the Silent Teachers' were read out, their pctures were shown and candles were lit in their memory
.
The students spoke of their respect for their silent teachers and what a difference they had made on their lives....they also remarked on how our loved relatives would make a difference to the lives of others in generations as yet unborn....in my estimation, it is these people, who are the true stars, because they provided us with a light in our darkness.
They will also go on and teach others what they know....so their light will go on and on long after they are no longer here....much like those who gifted their bodies for medical research.
So now when I look up at the stars I will think of all those who made that gift...I will see their light shining and I will send them a little silent Thank you.
PS...I am not a mushy person, but this blog has been written by my heart.